The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
Great American Wrestling's Darkness Falls
10/24/2K4 Decatur, IL
A horrible Halloween murder mystery in GAW, where wrestlers are bumped off one by one!
The views expressed by the author are solely his own, and do not in any
way reflect the views of friends, neighbors, co-workers, GAW, NMW, 3CW,
ACW, NWC, or any of the other numerous wrestling companies in Illinois
or throughout the country.
Well this is something I haven't done in ages, go to two different
wrestling shows in one weekend. Once again I give Peter McDonald
Sanders a ride to this event and he gets the job of ring announcing.
They are playing the oddest music before the show, supposedly novelty
Halloween music, foreboding the horror that is to come for several. The
location of the show is an old Eagles supermarket, where the floor
wasn't in great shape, and really needed to be sweeped with all the
dirt and loose rocks on the floor. It looks haunted to me. People
entering the ring leave a lot of footprints, or were those ghost
footprints? The ceiling is JUST high enough to allow moves off the top
rope. Attendance looked to be about 70, which looked to be quite low.
There was a show in between this one and the Blue Collar Brawl in
Maora, IL. I didn't write up a review and won't be, due to problems
with the camera I was using to film it. Results from that show were:
Ace Dorrity pinning Kandi Deluxe
Dickie Williams defeated Vampire Kaval, Donovan Cain, and a fan from the crowd who actually was Joe Cain
The Irish Revolution pinned Chip Conway & Plowboy Petey Clark
El Diablo Silverado pinned Mr. Elite
Mississippi Madman pinned Hardcore KC
Billy Morgan pinned The Freshman
The Animals pinned Hot Commodity
Tricky Dick Moore pinned Jaxson Pride
PMS comes out to announce, he's the one who manages Tricky Dick who put
Jaxson Pride and Khaos Kidd on the shelf. He's got that PM Sanders Fan
Club shirt on. After the national anthem, the Irish Revolution, JC
Michaels, and the so-called owner of GAW Mr. Benjamin come out.
Benjamin says he's sick and tired of the Animals, well there's a shoot
comment that's not meant to be one like a certain person always says.
So he's making a six man tag and it's the Animals and a partner of
their choice versus the Irish Revolution and ME! Benjamin can wrestle?
Isn't there a conflict of interest there? JC Michaels says he'll beat
anyone in under five minutes or he'll be murdered. Mickey McNelson runs
his mouth next and calls Lucky Dane a traitor so he's putting up
$25,000 for anyone to murder him. Where'd he come up with that kind of
cash? Lucky Dane comes out and says they've got NOBODY that can murder
him. And of course the Mississippi Madman Don Jackson comes out as the
volunteer to claim the bounty. Benjamin says it's no-DQ, Dane makes
some smart remarks and Madman says he better had eaten his breakfast
cause it's his funeral. Bahahahahaha!!! So there's your main event.
Jokaz 165lbs. "The Dark Carnival" vs. Vampire Kaval 155lbs. "Shadow of
Darkness" - I can't tell who's the heel or face since the crowd is
practically dead silent. Kaval actually hyperextended his arm a month
and a half ago in that rumble. Middleweight action here. Jokaz attacks
Kaval, whip Kaval gets a full nelson slam. Whip splash Kaval, kicks,
kneedrop, choke, two suplexes get two. Knee jam Kaval, inverted DDT
gets two. Kaval shouts this crowd is deader than he is. Kaval with a
slap, Jokaz flips him around and they slug away. Kaval with a slam,
reverse chinlock, Kaval pounds away. Whip flying clothesline, legdrop
Kaval gets two. Whip to the corner, fight, Kaval chops away. Jokaz
nails him, he jumps over the top and neck snaps Kaval on the second
rope. Jokaz in, inverted F5 gets two. Juvy Driver Jokaz gets two. Kaval
cradles him for two. The lights go out, and someone sneaks in the ring
and clotheslines them both down. Jokaz leaves but this "Vampire Hunter"
MURDERS Kaval with chairshots then tries to DDT him on a chair before
the ref pulls it away in time. Kaval is a bloody mess, but still
undead. Match had gotten going good until the SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT
FINISH MURDERED it dead. The wrestlers in the ring need to get the
crowd into it to get over the dead silence stuff so they know who to
cheer and who to boo.
NO WINNER: NO CONTEST -> 5:55 mins. **
Triple Threat Match
"Golden Eagle" Chip Conway 125lbs. Anytown, USA vs. "The Freshman" Matt
Boston 130lbs. Carbondale, IL vs. La Megra ???lbs. unknown "The Border"
- La Megra is another masked guy for Halloween. Well this is your first
NMW vs. 3CW vs. GAW match (not billed as such, that's my words). The
smaller guys attack the bigger guy, suplex on Conway by La Megra,
Freshman stomps away. La Megra throws the smaller guys down but can't
keep his pants up. Chip & Boston pound away, legdrops Conway,
Boston hits a move and gets two. Conway pulls him off, they spill
outside, Conway throws some weak punches, Freshman tosses him in. La
Megra ties his arm around Boston, slam, chops, whip hip toss, shot to
the gut, chokehold La Megra. Boston rollup gets two, Chip breaks it up.
La Megra is chopped down to the second rope, Conway sits on him on the
ropes. Choke on the ropes by Freshman, chop, cover gets two, Chip &
Matt fight over the cover and they start fighting. Boston whip Chip
hops over, La Megra with a snap mare, legdrop on Chip gets two but
Boston breaks it up. Whip reverse crossbody gets two for Conway. Elbow
Chip gets two. Boston goes out, La Megra for some reason wants to teach
Conway the Macernia but suckers him into a facebuster for two but pulls
off. He pounds on Conway, Boston watches, DDT gets two. Boston gets a
choke on La Megra, whip reverse wheelbarrow bulldog Boston gets three!
Kinda messy. Apparently we're never gonna see La Megra again, cause he
got into a backstage spat over being paid to wrestle then putting on a
bad match and was MURDERED before the show was over. Or so I was led to
believe.
WINNER: "The Freshman" Matt Boston -> 5:20 mins. *
Sam Stockwell & "The Extreme Enforcer" Gavin Alexander 520lbs.
combined, Jersey Shore vs. Maximum Impact - Hardcore KC 170lbs. Kansas
City, MO & Shane Matthews 220lbs. Atlantic City, NJ - Well I'm
surprised to see this match as this will be the first real NMW vs. 3CW,
not actually billed that way. Shane and Gavin start, Shane with a trip,
armbar, another trip. Gavin bails out. Lockup, armbar Gavin, reversal,
tag KC. Armbar KC, whip splash KC, legdrop gets two. Whip clothesline
KC, he rolls Gavin, tag Shane, leg drop off the top rope that gets
little of him. Shane tries a suplex but can't hold him and falls badly.
Double whip double drop kick Max Impact for two. KC whip reverse
clothesline Gavin, slam. Gavin pounds away, tag Stockwell. Stockwell
with a whip, clothesline KC. Tag Shane, turnbuckle smash, whip splash
misses. Facelock by Stockwell, he pounds him down. Whip reverse
Stockwell crashes, but tags Gavin. Suplex, fistdrop, LOW BLOW, chops
Gavin. Tag Stockwell, butterfly suplex gets two. Butterfly armbar
Stockwell, whip crossbody Shane. Everyone tags out, KC clothesline
Gavin, drop kick. Side kick on Stockwell, Shane dumps him out. KC whip
reverse spinebuster Gavin. Shane fights Stockwell outside, Gavin short
arm clothesline misses, neckbreaker KC pins him. Gavin defiantly says
he's not done with them two. Match was okay, despite the FUBAR(TM Blair
Russell) in it.
WINNERS: Maximum Impact pin -> 10:20 mins. **
Loser Leaves Town
Donovan Cain 135lbs. Orlando, FL vs. Joe Cain 130lbs. Decatur, IL -
Little note, NO ONE HONORS LOSERS LEAVES TOWN. NO ONE. The loser of
this won't either. Mr. Benjamin makes this match cause he's mad at Don
for losing. Does Mr. Benjamin know how small his roster is right now?
Apparently not, cause he's squandering people away even though
the natural GAW roster is down to like eight wrestlers now. If the
Cains try anything funny, they're both gonna be MURDERED. Gee, how is
he gonna run a fed without any wrestlers in it? Guess he wants to
outsource everything. But it's not like there isn't other feds close by
that will take him in, and of course Donovan made his debut for NMW the
previous day. For some reason I keeping calling Cain by McCain. It's
lightweight versus featherweight here. They hug each other to start.
Lockup, headlock takedown Don. Lockup, headlock takedown Joe. Hip toss
is blocked, wheelbarrow into a stunner Joe. Whip DOUBLE crossbodies and
they're in a heap. A flip over, reverse DDT Joe. Whip hip toss into a
neckbreaker gets Joe two. Don whip Joe tries to run up the ropes and
slips and falls down on the mat. Don comes over, Joe puts Don in the
tree of woe, then puts himself in the tree of woe alongside and chokes
him. Well I've never seen a double tree of woe in the same corner. He
turns him loose, sunset flip off the top rope gets two. Joe suplex, Don
hits an inverted death valley driver for two. Whip Don double
clothesline, they trade covers for two. Spinkick Don gets two. CANADIAN
DESTROYER gets two. Donovan Cain gets hurt on this move. Don goes for
the 619 area code kick but turns it into a chokehold on the rope.
Northern Lights suplex Don gets two. Joe does some sort of flip move
for two. Fight on the mat, slam legdrop Don gets two. Joe whip is
blocked, hurraconranna Joe gets two. Rolling covers on the mat get two.
Styles clash is blocked, spinebuster Donovon. Whip reverse clothesline
Joe gets two. Juvy Driver Don, spinning neckbreaker is reversed into
some sort of slam by Joe for two. Don is stumbling around, which seem
to be the effects of the concussion, cause he walks right into Joe
hitting a blockbuster off the top for the win.
WINNER: Joe Cain pin -> 11 mins. ***¼
Lots of high spots, kinda messy but quite fun to watch making it the
match of the day. Lookie here, Crossroads Championship Wrestling has
already taken Donovan Cain in. GAW's loss, CCW's gain. Donovan Cain was
indeed taken to the hospital for a concussion.
We're at halftime, The Animals come out to do a costume contest. Funny
thing is, the Animals need no costumes for Halloween. Four kids come in
the ring in costume, one is dressed like a pirate, one's a witch, one's
Athena, and one is supposed to be a vampire though she looks more like
Red Riding Hood. The crowd picks the pirate as having the best costume
and wins a prize. After halftime, the Animals select their partner,
who's wearing a "She-Ra" shirt of all things.
Dickie Williams, The Animals - George Jr. & George 3rd ???lbs. "The
Playground" vs. Mr. Benjamin 220lbs. Las Vegas, NV, The Irish
Revolution 467lbs. combined Belfast, Ireland w/ Pat MuGroin - Mickey
& Shamous McNelson - It was originally to be George the 3rd versus
Richard Biggs the 3rd, but the Animals MURDERED Hot Commodity
beforehand and dumped their bodies somewhere. I learned the reasons why
throughout the show from a super secret source that survived. Junior
and Benjamin start. George Jr. licks him. Lockup, waistlock Benjamin,
Junior reverse, armwringer, trading of hammerlocks. Headlock, shove
Benjamin, but Junior grabs him again. Shove, rabbit punch by Junior.
Tag Shamus, George 3rd. Third shoves Shamus around, whip clothesline by
Third. Sloppy legdrop by Third, tag Williams who trips on the way in,
elbow gets two. Animals choke Shamus and headbutt him. Whip clothesline
Williams, drags him to the corner, tag Junior, jumps on Shamus, teases
a tag and pulls him around by the beard. Whip clothesline Junior gets
two, KO punch, boot wipe. Chop Junior in the corner. Whip Junior, and
complete blows a back body drop. Third in, whip double clothesline gets
two. Whip to the corner, choke by Shamus, whip to the corner, tag
Mickey. Junior grabs him, LOW BLOW Mickey, kneedrop, punch, KO punch.
Third gets a shot to the gut, Mickey KO punch, Junior gets a shot in.
Mickey pulls third back for a choke, Benjamin stomps away, tag
Benjamin. Benjamin whip ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE gets two. I quip that I
should buy one of those cheesehead hats to put on whenever the action
in the ring gets excessively cheesy. Whip, Junior gets bumped into for
what seemed to be a tag but the ref disallows it and makes Third come
back in (they're touching each other though, so why count THAT as a
tag?), ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE by Third. Tag Junior, Pat MuGroin sneaks
over and gets a LOW BLOW on Williams. Junior with a KO punch gets two.
Shamus whip ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE on Junior, who takes those funny. Well
it's been going on all afternoon. Shot to the chest by Junior, tag
Williams, ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE on Mickey, whip ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE on
Shamus who stumbles around. Benjamin pulls out some brass knucks and
nails Williams in the head, Mickey pins him to finally MURDER this
monsterously awful match.
WINNERS: Mr. Benjamin & Irish Revolution pin -> 14 mins. -***
You know I've held back and given these guys three chances to show
their stuff and they just haven't shown it, so it's time to rap on
these Animals. They don't bump for anyone, take too long in the ring,
are quite sloppy, have very few moves, they've driven two guys out of
the sport cause of their BS, so what do we have? Two guys who've way
overrated themselves just cause they are the sons of a WWE Hall of
Famer but need to go back to basic training or something. That's
probably how Scott Keith would say it, two guys from CW.com would say
it, except more obnoxiously. By the way, the views expressed are solely
my own and do not reflect the views of any wrestling promotion. The
Animals complain about them guys not being able to beat them fairly.
One Animal says next month in November is the finals of the tag
tourney, and it's very likely they will meet the Irish Revolution.
Acutally they're supposed to fight them in the next round, unless they
flip the brackets. Oh I can hardly wait. They bring some kids in to
dance.
PMS brags about how Tricky Dick Moore MURDERED the career of Jaxson
Pride with JC Michaels. PMS screams not to boo that man. PMS was the
former manager of Coop, now JC. JC says if he can't beat anyone in five
minutes he'll burn himself at the stake. Jaxson Pride comes out wearing
a makeshift sling. Security try to block him from entering the ring but
he gets the mike. Pride says he has someone who will take the challenge.
JC Michaels 304lbs. Decatur, IL vs. "Plowboy" Petey Clark ???lbs. Parts
Unknown - I got the timer ready. Lockup shove JC, whip by Petey is
blocked, flying clothesline Clark gets two. JC messes up some move, but
drops an elbow for two. Whip side slam JC gets two. Clark pounds away
in the corner, but gets spinebustered. JC with a rock bottom into a
face buster gets three. JC just MURDERED that bum.
WINNER: JC Michaels pin -> 2:15 mins. DUD
Well JC is spared from being burned at the stake and lives another day.
JC gives Clark a flatliner afterwards. PMS taunts Pride, but he shouts
it was cause of him that he left.
No DQ Match
Lucky Dane 210lbs. Belfast, OH w/ Lizzy O'Shea vs. Mississippi Madman
Don Jackson 367lbs. Olive Branch, MS - Dane has a box of Lucky Charms
cerael. PMS tells us not to boo the Madman. Dane attacks, whip
clothesline Dane. Madman slugs him, stomp, slam, KO punch gets two.
Head vice Madman, Dane gets away, clothesline Madman. Axe to the back
by Madman, whip corner, Madman eats a boot, clothesline Dane gets two.
Dane with a LOW BLOW, chops, grabs him by the belly buttons. Whip
reverse Madman splash in the corner. Madman chews out the referee. Whip
into a bearhug by Madman, he gets two before Dane ear claps him. Dane
clothesline gets two. Madman hits a legdrop for two, rollup gets two.
Nerve hold by Madman, jawbreaker Dane. Dane stupidly tries to slam him
but fails miserably. Madman pounds away in the corner, Dane shot to the
throat, LOW BLOW Dane. Madman tries the 5th floor double chokeslam but
is blocked, Dane sends Madman out, fight outside, Dane grabs the box
and blasts him with it. Madman has been MURDERED by a brick in the box!
Dane back in and Madman is counted out.
WINNER: Lucky Dane countout -> 9:20 mins. *½
Irish Revolution run out and attempt MURDER on Lucky Dane, double whip
double clothesline by Dane. There's cerael all over the ring. Dane is
outta gas, Irish Revs get the upper hand and the Animals run in for the
save. Dane chews out the Irish Revs and wants to MURDER Mickey McNelson
at Wrestlecade for the heavyweight title. Dane hands off the brick to a
kid. The show is complete.
The Verdict: Well, what I can say. Jaxson Pride and JC Michaels even
admit this show was MURDER. Better luck next time. And there were
indeed four bodies discovered behind the building: Donovan Cain,
Richard Biggs, Adam Starr, and La Megra...all savagely MURDERED!
Bahahahahahaha!!! The killer is still on the loose, watch your back,
and don't go out at night! Happy Halloween!
Thumbs way down.