The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
Intergalactic Wrestling Federation
8/10/2K3, Springfield, IL

The most craptacular show you'll ever see at the Illinois State Fair!

This rap sheet is posted in news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup that many wrestling organizations could utilize to spread info about their shows but don't, and the archive of all the ones I've written are stored at http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet. The pictures for this show are up at http://mudlist.betterbox.net/icw for some undetermined length of time. The views expressed by the Crimefighter are of his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of his family, friends, co-workers or anyone else on planet Earth. In other words, don't yell at them yell at me instead! I asked Ronnie Vegas where the website for the IWF was, and he says there won't be one cause all they do is stir up trouble from flamers. He does not believe in using the web to supplement promotion of the wrestling shows. I disagree with that.

I've had to make some changes to this report a couple times due to new information I keep finding out about certain people not being accurate. Kinda gets annoying after a while.

This was my second straight day of running around the IL State Fair, where this time I remembered to put on the sunscreen. Carried around a bag load of stuff all day to put everything they were giving away at various places, and also so I could snap pictures of interesting things and wildlife and not have to use my pockets. The bright sun and endless walking can tire you out, but the weather has been cooler than in years past. The night before I attended a show put on by Rampage Championship Wrestling in Carlinville, IL. After the show was over I felt dissatisfied with what I saw except for one match and gave it an overall negative review. Tonight I'm hoping to see a better show than the previous evening. Local wrestlers in attendance, Dredd Walker, New World Quinten Tyler, PT Starbody, plus a few trainees. Mrs. Walker was ready to go home and didn't wish to stay and watch, she isn't into wrestling like Mr. Walker is.

Last year at the IL State Fair was said to be final match ever for the tag team of Public Enemy--Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge. While both men wrestled seperate indy bookings in the five weeks between that show and the time of Ted Petty's death, the match between Public Enemy vs. Itch & The Bouncer in a steel cage with numerous weapons and tables used during the battle. Public Enemy came out the victors of the match, Rocco Rock putting Bouncer through two tables with a senton from the top of the cage. The beginning of the show has all the IWF wrestlers around the ring, as Johnny Aramoni, former WCW Nitro referee is your ring announcer giving the eulogy.

"Since IWF's inception we've set the standard for kid-friendly, family-oriented entertainment. In everybody's life a little rain must fall and over the last year we've overcome some pretty serious odds. First thing I'd like to do, mention the loss of someone who was very special to us in the IWF family, if you got to know her, she was a very wonderful woman, for those of us in IWF family who didn't get to know her, you would had really liked her, it's Lady Luck's mother she passed away at this time last year. We send out our condolences and our wishes, because Linda we love you, all the roads we've been up and down together in this industry, you've always been there for us, so has your family, Diceman you guys are wonderful to us, we love you and we thank you. I apologize if I get a little emotional it's very difficult cause I've been here since day one. Now somebody who we very much love and care about, you saw him on TV. And you wondered how he did the things he did, but you didn't get the chance to know him in the locker room and off the camera. Unquestionably he was one half of one of the greatest tag teams of all time, he is the innovator of the table match, he's a former ECW, WCW tag team champion and he passed away at this time last year. His tag team partner to carry on the legend in the Public Enemy dynasty, is the one and only Johnny Grunge, and we're here today in memory of the Flyboy himself, ROCCO ROCK!"

Ronnie Vegas presents Johnny Grunge with a plaque photo of Public Enemy as Frank Sintara's "My Way" plays in the background. The wrestlers get in the ring to console Grunge. Your referee is Nicholas Age who is the ref for the entire show.

IWF Cruiserweight Championship
(c)Kenny Courageous 221lbs. Memphis, TN vs. "Silvergun Superman" Cage 200lbs. Parts Unknown (Ohio) -- Kenny wears tights with KC written on it. Cage wears long silver pants, looks kinda like Matt Hardy. Pose off for cheers, Courageous gets boos, Cage gets the cheers. Lockup, hip toss KC. Lockup, arm drag KC. Lockup headlock, shoveoff shoulderblock KC, armdrag Cage. KC bails. Back in, KC is tripped up on the ropes Cage with a guillotine leg drop from the top rope. Cage with a senton on the mat, Irish whip splash in the corner. Another one misses, KC with a belly-to-back suplex. Irish whip, elbow KC, chop, choke, gut shot, knees him. Irish whip reversed clothesline Cage. Irish whip back body drop attempt is met with a kick from KC and a slam. Finally figure out a way to heckle him with a chant so I go KFC adding the F and the crowd joins in and Kenny Courageous gets irritated. KC to the top rope and misses the legdrop. Cage slugs away and chops him, whip back body drop, snap suplex gets two. Whip reversed Cage rolls KC up for three! This alas was the best match of the day.

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: "Silvergun Superman" Cage pin -> 5:35 mins. **

IWF Midwest Heavyweight Championship
(c)The Bouncer 238lbs. & 12 fl oz, Corner Tavern vs. Hillbilly Jed 329lbs. Hills of Kentucky -- The Bouncer carries a beer keg, he has the mike, he shouts the keg is all for him and none for you! Well he's got a drinking problem it seems. Jed has no relation to the clan of Hillbillies of the Hillbilly clan of the WWF but dresses like them. Jed is also way overweight for his height. Lockup to the corner, Bouncer slugs Jed weakly, a chop hurts his hand. Lockup to the corner, shoulder blocks, whip clothesline Jed. Senton by the 330-pound Jed gets two. Bouncer slugs away at Jed, tries for a bodyslam but can't lift him, Jed slams Bouncer who goes outside. Jed reaches for him, Bouncer yanks him on the ropes for a neck snap. Bouncer peels off the tape from his wrist and chokes him with it. Whip clothesline Bouncer, slugs away, has something in his hands. Jed hits him in the belly, whip clothesline gets two. Jed actually tries a drop kick but barely gets high enough to connect. Well Jed needs to lose 50-100 lbs. if he's gonna do stuff like that, and of course move a bit faster. Bouncer to the corner, Jed drop kicks him again. Bouncer drops down, I shout for a Bronco Buster, but he gives him the stinkface instead. Darn. Bouncer with a LOW BLOW. Rake with the boot, elbow, to the 2nd rope, leg drop misses. Jed slugs away, whip and Jed completely BLOWS a spinebuster. Jed to the second rope and does a 330-pound senton for the pin and the title. Terrible match, and in slow motion much of the time. Bouncer nails Jed in the back with the ring bell and slammed him off the middle rope. Yep he had too much to drink. A bit of a DUI chant. People say take the keg Jed, he takes it, but I think the thing's empty.

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: Hillbilly Jed pin -> 7:35 mins. *

Itchy & Phatty, 499lbs. Parts Unknown - Itch Coma Weider & "Too Fat" Jason Dukes vs. Simply Marvelous, 420lbs. Bouncers Crib - PT Hustler & Devon Fury -- I couldn't figure out Itch's last name until I found it by chance on another site. Itch wears a New York jersey, doesn't have green hair this year. Dukes is a member of the SWO, Shoot World Order. He tells me not to call him short. You're giving me ideas... PT Hustler sorta resembles Booker T and the Simply Marvelous gimmick remind me somewhat of Harlem Heat. Itch has the mike. Shut up hillbilly! While I'm wrestling, keep quiet, don't boo me or I'll slap you. Dukes says yeah. Itch says we're the most despicable group of people I've ever seen, last year the people were ugly, we're twice as ugly. Dukes says heck yeah. Whatever. Itch says shut up fool you look stupid even talking. Dukes says yeah. Very funny. They don't announce the names of SM which I had to get later, and had to refer to them as hair and bald. Itch has the mike again and continues to trash talk about SM. Pork chop chant on Dukes. Dukes screams to stop that, pork chop isn't my name, Dukes and Itch threatens to leave. Aramoni tells us it says OX on his tights. Fury and Itch start. Hip toss Fury, drop kick. Hustler with a slam on Dukes. More bloody stalling. Tag Hustler. Lockup, hip toss by Hustler, slam, drop kick on Itch. Dukes in, Fury hip toss, slam, drop kick on Dukes. Booker T chants. More stalling, heels jump Fury, double whip, shoulderblock by Devon. PT to the top rope, double clothesline, the heels run again to stall. Dukes is pulled into the ring, tag Fury. Arm wringer with an elbow from the 2nd rope. Dukes grabs a leg for a small package on Fury getting two. Armdrag Fury, tag Hustler. Double arm wringer takedown, legdrops, Hustler gets two. Tag Devon, whip double back elbow, double elbow drop gets two. Devon gets caught in the heels corner, Fury fights out of it, tag PT. Crossbody from the top by PT, no cover. Itch with a punch, rake of the back. Whip double back body drop gets two. Arm wringer by PT, tag Devon. Legdrop on the arm gets two. Devon is double teamed in the corner, then a beatup outside, toss in, Dukes gets two. Tag choke by Dukes, double whip and elbows. Itch whip clothesline on Fury. Butterfly armbar, tag Dukes, kicks, chokes. PT Hustler is shouting at the ref. Sunset flip by Fury, Dukes yells at the ref to go to PT, cover gets zero. Inverted atomic drop by Dukes, tag Itch. Kick away, puts Devon on the middle rope and rope splashes him. Sleeper by Itch, double clothesline KO. Fury makes a tag, but the ref doesn't see it and PT is even madder at the ref. The heels hit a whip clothesline, Dukes with a springboard back flip splash off the middle rope gets two. Whip reversed, spinebuster Fury. Tag Itch, tag Hustler. Punches, clotheslines, whip back body drop Hustler. PT to the top, leg drop on Dukes, Itch nails him in the back of the head as the ref ushers Fury out of the ring, Dukes pins him.

WINNERS: Itchy & Phatty pin -> 18:15 mins. *

Way way way too long, five to eight minutes of this was pure stalling and trash talk and could had easily been shaved off. Simply Marvelous threaten to slug the ref, but they let him go. Darn it. After this match the first significant chunk of the crowd leaves.

Interview with Frank "The Tank" Melson, 17-time Independent Professional Wrestling World Champ from Union, IL at 268lbs. A former Windy City Pro Wrestling personality and champ I was told. Johnny asks is he ready to return to the ring from injury that cost him the IWF Midwest champ. He says should he stay should he leave, he's coming back, he's enjoying the show. Someone says I thought he was dead, he looks alive to me.

IWF Hardcore Streetfight Championship 2/3 Falls
(c)Ronnie "Diceman" Vegas 268lbs. Las Vegas, NV w/ Lady Luck vs. Bobo Brazil Jr. 270lbs. Benton Harbor, MI -- Vegas claims he's won 71 matches in a row, really. Last year, Vegas was completely destroyed by Bobo Jr. Bobo Jr. is the Missouri Pro Wrestling heavyweight champion. I mistakenly thought it was the title belt from Midwest Powerhouse Wrestling in St. Louis but we're checked into it. Aramoni warns the fans to not get involved in the match or they may get hurt and they will get ejected. I missed the announcement it was 2/3 falls as well while chatting. Lockup, shove Bobo. Corner elbows, headbutt Bobo gets two. Yank off the ropes, elbows on the leg, knee planted on a knee with a twist, cover for two. Bobo holds up the legs to make a wish, drops an elbow on a leg, then drags Vegas to the post. Bobo gets a little kid to assist in crotching him on the post. Cute. Punch, choke by Vegas, Lady Luck hands him a broom handle, he breaks it over Bobo's back. Irish whip, splash misses in the corner, rollup Bobo gets three for the first pin at 4:45 mins. Sucker punch by Vegas gets two. Choke on the ropes, whip clothesline Vegas. Vegas makes a wish with the legs and kicks him low. Vegas with a rake, then sets Bobo up for Shattered Dreams. Lady Luck delivers the kick while Vegas ties up the ref. Here comes the weightlifters belt! He whips Bobo! Wrapped hand with the belt to punch has no effect, headbutt Bobo gets two but he's in the ropes. ANOTHER LOW BLOW by Vegas. Another broom handle is in there, Bobo steals it and breaks it on Vegas's back. Bobo chokes him with it, but he doesn't submit. Lady Luck jumps in and belts him to break it up. Broom shot by Bobo on Vegas, choke. Irish whip, Vegas with a kick, neckbreaker gets the pin at 11:05 mins. Vegas hits Bobo with a bottle of water, has no effect. Vegas with a head jam, rams the leg on the apron. Fight is outside, choke with a belt, another water shot, poke by Vegas. The bell ringer and attendants are cleared out from ringside. Bobo slams Vegas through the table. Viscera comes out to attack Bobo, rams him into the post, tosses him back in, Vegas tossed in on top and gets the cheapo victory at 13:25 mins. Lady Luck has the mike. She says in all the years you've known us, all the money is with us or something. Hardly any weapons used in this hardcore match. Bobo Brazil Jr. has the mike, says he fought Vegas and Viscera all over the world, asks if we recall what happened last year, he only hurt his pride by turning his bro against him, doesn't care where he'll forget she's a lady, do you remember what happened in the WWF, we had the best match (HUH?). Vegas shouts money talks, we're walking out with more belts. Bobo retorts that he's gonna fight dirty next time. This hardcore match was hardly hardcore.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP: Ronnie "Diceman" Vegas 2-1 pin, pin -> 13:25 mins. *

IWF World Heavyweight Championship - Chain Match
(c)Austin James 254lbs. Las Vegas, NV w/ Lady Luck vs. Deputy Dog 258lbs. Charlotte, NC w/ Frank "The Tank" Melson - Deputy Dog is the son of the late Junk Yard Dog and is also the South Eastern Wrestling world heavyweight champ. Where the heck is SEW based out of? James is the regular tag partner of Vegas as "The High Rollers". James wants us to know he's the most beautiful woman in the arena, the town, the state. Melson argues with James, then states it's a IWF title match when apparently it wasn't before. James doesn't want to defend under chain match rules and wants to leave, ref says you forfeit if you do. James attacks the Dog and chokes him, Melson grabs James so the ref can put the chain on. Dog knocks James down, then crotches him with a chain yank. Clothesline Dog gets one. James punches away with a fist full of chain, wraps it around Dog's neck, which is illegal apparently. Lady Luck gets a cheap shot in. James with a drop kick to the belly who barely got off the ground. Another choke, ref isn't even counting it. Send her back chant. Dog elbow to the gut, whip a low kick to the gut. Doesn't take the chance to crotch him again. Armbar Deputy Dog. Shot to the gut by James, can't put much behind those punches with the chain. Legdrop James gets two. Another choke by James then a one count cover. SLOW AND BORING. Now he chokes with a boot, I finally start an "Austin Sucks!" chant, he screams at me to shut up while Dog schoolboys him for two. James goes back to choking with a boot, Lady Luck gets another cheap shot. Dog is up on his feet, punch to the jaw of James, headbutt, double thrust to the throat, then walks on him. Arm wringer, sabot kick, lameo cover gets zero. James with a weak DDT, to the second rope, senton misses, Dog covers and gets the anticlimactic pin. Dog's a double champ now. TERRIBLE match. I haven't seen hardly any chain or strap matches, but this was definitely crap. James tries to attack him again but gets tossed. Dog does some dancing. NEXT!!!

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: Deputy Dog pin -> 6:40 mins. DUD

(c)"Playboy" Buddy Rose 234lbs. Atlanta, GA w/ Candi vs. "Mr. Excitement" Marti Gras 240lbs. New Orleans, LA -- THAT'S BUDDY ROSE??? I can't believe it! Apparently he gave up on his blow-away diet and used a real diet to shed 100 pounds and looks to be in great shape. Rose now resides in "Badstreet USA"; does Michael Hayes know this? Rose is also the IWF US Champion. Geez, just how many belts are there in the IWF??? Every match on this show has some sort of belt at stake, and at least they had their own belts and not copies of WCW & WWF belts. Anyway, Buddy Rose's big claim to fame in championship is that he was a former AWA tag champ with Doug Summers and managed by Sensational Sherri Martel. Marti Gras, or is it Marty Graw throws bead necklaces to the crowd, and actually throws one that sails way over the stands. He does a pretty good worm too. Gumbo is on the back of his tights. I invoke an old chant from his overweight days "Dough Boy" which everyone chanted like crazy in the AWA but no one thought of doing it during his stay in the WWF. He goes out, gets a girl in the crowd and yells he gets better dates than me. WHO CARES? He keeps jawing with people (a running theme of the night, too much jawing, less good wrestling). WAIT A MINUTE! Wrestling columnist Jess McGath of www.1wrestling.com's Moonsaults just informed me that this Buddy Rose is an IMPOSTER! Geez, that figures. He's really "Freebird" Buddy Rose out of West Virginia. This match is NON-TITLE, but if Marti Gras wins he gets a title shot against Rose on the next IWF show wherever it is. Rollup Gras gets two to break up the Rose jabbering. Lockup, headlock Rose, hammerlock, head lock thumb thrust to the neck. Headlock Rose, another thumb jam. Lockup, whip drop toe hold Marti Gras, he then messes up his hair. Lockup Rose with an armbar behind the head and a hair yank to the mat. Does it again, before Gras does it to him as well, then Candi hands Rose something. Whip back elbow by Rose gets two. Rose with a rear headlock and a choke. Irish whip, Marti Gras with a middle rope springboard back elbow gets two. Wow, a big spot! Rose pulls a flat white rod out, jams it in Marti Gras's neck and pins him. This nothing match SUCKED BAD! Hey the referee somehow finds the stick in his hand and DQ's him so Gras gets the title shot. Gee, I can hardly wait for the rematch. NEXT!!! Maybe I should had done it earlier, but it's time to break out the negative stars!

WINNER: Marti Gras DQ -> 8:10 mins. -**.

Minus two stars for wasting my time! The real Buddy Rose should sue the faker's butt off for gimmick theft, unauthorized impersonating, and of course pretending to be a pro wrestler. Marti Gras stops by the girl Rose had pointed out earlier and says she doesn't want a date with Buddy, she really wanted a date with me! Rose blasts Gras with the belt out of the tent, hold him up for Candi to slap him.

IWF Tag Team Championship
(c)Johnny Grunge 262 lbs. & Joey Grunge 242lbs. South Philly, PA w/ "Chatterbox" Chad Phillips vs. Ronnie "Dice Man" Vegas 268lbs. Las Vegas, NV & Viscera 550lbs. "The Dark Side" w/ Lady Luck - Where's the cage? King Mabel, Viscera take your pick looks the same as he did the last time he appeared in the WWF, held the WWF tag titles, heavyweight title, and was King of the Ring. Johnny is #69, Joey #96. Joey was incorrectly announced as "Jerry" by Aramondi. Joey was announced as his younger brother and his first match ever. Only problem is, it wasn't his first match ever, he wrestled the previous night in Tolson, Kansas at an Impact Pro Wrestling Midwest show. This guy calling himself Chatterbox is Chad Phillips, ring announcer, commentator and chairman of the IPWM championship committee. None of this is mentioned however, and of course it's ten days later that I find out all the details when I've already put out the report in the newsgroups. On top of all the errors in the info, Johnny Grunge held the ECW & WCW tag titles, but was incorrectly announced as a former WWF tag title holder as well. The IWF tag titles were left dormant for the whole year after Rocco Rock passed away and the Grunge Bros. are awarded the tag belts to defend tonight. Ronnie Vegas is announced as the new Missouri Pro Wrestling champ, huh? It wasn't said to be on the line earlier nor announced as new champ??? Joey Grunge and Vegas start. Lockup, clean break. Lockup, rake of the face by Vegas, punch away, Joey fires back at the chest. Whip clothesline Joey, armbar, whip another clothesline. Joey yanks him from the corner, Vegas foolishly holds the bottom rope. Armwringer, tag Johnny, weak short arm clothesline gets two. Turnbuckle smash, chop to the chest, chokehold, Joey puts the boot up, Johnny rams his head into it, tag Joey. Joey makes a wish and drops a low knee. Vegas with a face rake, something going on outside, Lady Luck is being restrained by a security guy as Chatterbox was chasing her around the ring. Tag Viscera, who sits on Joey. Choke on the top rope, Viscera screams at the ref and grabs him. Viscera with a big chop, whip charges to the corner and misses. Joey tries a clothesline that has no effect, sidewalk slam Viscera for two. Vegas jumps in for an illegal switch, whip clothesline, takes a cheap shot on Johnny, Viscera chokes away as Vegas ties the ref up. Tag Viscera. Joey manages to stumble into his own corner and doesn't tag out? Johnny doesn't even attempt to tag him on the back or something. Viscera with a whip and barely does a back heel kick. Viscera goes for a splash from the second rope and misses by a mile. Johnny does get tagged in, Vegas tagged in, slugaway on both men, headbutt on the back of the head by Viscera, double whip Johnny hits a double clothesline. Johnny beats on Vegas, Viscera dumps Joey over the top rope. Ronnie Vegas holds Johnny in the corner for Viscera to splash him, Johnny escapes and crushes his own man. Johnny covers for three, Chatterbox held one leg down to get the pin.

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS: Johnny & Joey Grunge pin -> 6:35 mins. *½

The Grunge Bros. just threw their manager in the ring? What's going on? Viscera slugs him, Chatterbox outside and pulls his coat off in anger. I guess the Grunge Bros. did not want to cheat to win. Johnny Aramoni was ordered to make an announcement that the hardcore belt was not on the line, then Vegas forces Aramoni into the ring. Viscera gives Aramoni a DDT then a BIG SPLASH! Vegas screams at him that he's done he's history. Is he fired? Now the security guys throw the referee in the ring? What the heck? Vegas slugs the ref, Lady Luck is in the ring and kicks him in the groin. Viscera with a big legdrop on the ref! Deputy Dog is out here but has no interest in going in to stop it. SORE LOSERS! Lady Luck rolls both of those guys out as the heels pose.

The Verdict: Yesterday when I asked what the lineup of the show was, Ronnie Vegas the promoter said they haven't decided. So everything tonight was booked on the fly and it really showed. I thought I watched a bad indy show last night, but this show by far was HORRIBLE and well evidenced by the declining number of people in the stands as the night went on. I originally believed not a single match on the show broke **, but after writing this up I thought the opener did earn **, barely. Cage blamed it on the heat, though I can say from experience a month ago conditions were much worse for an NMW show held outdoors that I attended and taped. This weather wasn't bad at all if you weren't in the sun. So, I know the IWF guys are reading this review at some point cause I handed Lady Luck, Johnny Aramoni and Johnny Grunge the webpage addresses to get the pictures, review and NMW's address. What to do about next year's show, if there is one or wherever the next IWF show is held, geez I'd say get a few of the local NMW guys on the show (errr...that sounds self-serving on my part), don't book the matches at the last minute, a few of the larger guys need to get into better shape to be able to execute moves correctly, a number of guys didn't appear to have much energy in the ring, a pair of cage matches were announced ahead of time but there was no cage, the 2/3 fall hardcore match was minimal on hardcore stuff, the big names that were announced--Hillbilly Jim and the Barbarian didn't show though they did get a suitable pinch hitter in Viscera/King Mabel, I'm kinda stumped on what else I could say about it to help out but that's a good chunk of it. What kinda bugs me about this show also is that there were so many errors I've found days later that I've had to make corrections to this report. Enough of that. You guys running the IL State Fair, bring in New Midwest Wrestling next year! Thumbs WAY DOWN. Until next time, this is the Crimefighter saying bustin' ain't easy!