The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
Great American Wrestling's Christmas Fury
12/12/2K4  Decatur, IL

Apathy has taken me over...and it's all the governor's fault!

Well, I've not been in the best of moods during this month of Christmas due to all the state layoffs including my own immediate supervisor.  Thank you governor, you grinch.  So in the days leading up to this show I've been quite apathetic.  The night before however seemed to cheer me up a bit cause I went to a wrestlers Christmas party.

First a word about something that really has me ticked off.  Militant Christophobes.  These are people who are so scared to death of Christians and are so into their extreme progressive secularism that they are trying desperately to eradicate the presense of God and Jesus all over the country in hopes that they will have a much easier time ramming their radical agenda through Congress because morality will be out of their way.  Because these people will NEVER get their way at the ballot box, they are doing everything they can to attack the symbols of Christianity and the best way they see to do that is stopping the celebration of Christmas.  These are people who are using the court system to block Christmas displays. And those completely whacked school administrators that don't want kids singing Christmas carols, or even have a tree in the building. And those idiots running Macy's that don't want its employees saying Merry Christmas yet want to piggyback on the economic commerce Christmas generates. And those idiots in Denver that want to have a BIG parade in December and not allow anyone to enter a float that has anything to do with Christmas yet once again piggyback on the economic commerce Christmas brings their downtown businesses.  And the biggest Christophobe of them all is Michael Newdow who is trying to ram his atheist views down his daughter's throat who is a Christian herself by trying to get "Under God" out of the pledge of allegence.  These guys are whacked in the head, they're bigots, they have no morals, they're unelectable and no one supports their political views.  These people MUST BE STOPPED, their attacks MUST BE BEATEN BACK.  School administrators, city officials, judges who assist in advancing Christophobia must feel the heat of intense public pressure to cut the crap and BACK OFF.  I'm tired of hearing this crap year after year, these guys need to be shut down and shut down NOW.  Anyone who opposes Christmas but doesn't want to go to work at their regular place of employement is a major hypocrite.

Live from the old Eagles in Decatur Plaza of the city of the same name.  Your ring announcer is Chris Lee, and some heel mark named Colin McDowe mans the public address system commentary booth with him.  Slick Rick Castle was a NO SHOW.  Attendance was about 75.  Chris Lee has a lot of trouble reading his cards.  Tonight I decided to guard KC & Madman's kids and Freshman's gal.

JC Michaels comes on in a suit with Pat Mugroin and the Irish Revolution.  JC says we should show respect for the greatest clique ever, the "Elements of Power".  Uhhh...try "Elements of Eating at the Buffet".  Mr. Benjamin ain't here and left JC in charge.  JC says he can do everything, except talk.  He takes pot shots at their opposition tonight, and say Lucky Dane isn't here but if he doesn't get here to defend he is stripped.  Arrgh...a no-show?  Some fan calls him a teletubby!  JC then rudely gives pointers to Chris Lee on ring announcing.  

Hot Commodity (0-1) 420lbs. combined, Wall Street - "Big Investment" Richard Biggs & "Prime Time" Adam Starr w/ Billy Reno vs. Joe Cain (1-1) 120lbs. Decatur, IL & "Plowboy" Petey Clark (0-1) 175lbs. Clark Family Farm (debut) - Reno for some reason has decided to hook up with Hot Commodity, must be because they're wearing ties.  Starr and Pete start.  Starr whip hip toss, suplex, and a low slam.  Clark kick, whip hip toss, suplex and a Juvy Driver gets two.  Tag Joe.  Lockup, chops Starr, Joe chops away, whip splash from Joe gets two.  Cain hip toss into a neckbreaker.  Running shooting star press gets two!  Elbow and Starr flees.  After a break, lockup shoulderblocks from Starr, whip clothesline, tag Biggs.  Commentary team thinks Starr was in there too long at the three minute mark, and they can't tell time either.  Biggs with a slam and BIG SPLASH gets two.  Whip Joe tries the wheelbarrow but botches it completely.  Can't get those little legs around that BIG guy!  Biggs whips again and Joe with a flying headscissors.  Tag Clark, whip clothesline, they trade chops, but a whip to the corner and Biggs CRUSHES him with an avalanche!  Clark tries in vain for a sleeper but gets side slammed for two.  Suplex Biggs, tag Starr, bulldog gets two.  Starr scissors the leg, he whips him, Clark with a clothesline.  Tag Joe, whip elbow gets two.  Starr with a poke, some move was attempted but completely FUBAR'ed it, so he shoves him into Biggs corner for him to choke with the tag rope.  Tag Biggs, whip Joe gets the wheelbarrow this time and hits the STUNNER!  Tag Pete, he works the leg, then a DDT for two.  Tag Joe, spin kick to the gut gets two.  Whip Cain again crashes in Biggs attempting some move, so its a clothesline instead.  Whip kicks to the gut, Joe is tossed into Clark.  Headlock Biggs, Clark slips out and tries to clothesline him down, but has to DDT him instead.  Commentary team claim there's five minutes left before the twelve minute mark.  Tag Joe, tag Starr, hip toss Joe, slam.  Billy Reno walks over and grabs the briefcase, throws it in the ring, Biggs nails Joe with it, powerbomb, Starr splash and it's over!  They want me to call it the corporate merger.  HC leave Cain & Clark laying.  Blown spots hurt this match.  Billy Reno grabs the mike and says we just witnessed the greatest tag team ever and the next GAW tag champs.  Maybe the greenest but not the greatest.  *smirk*

WINNERS:  Hot Commodity pin -> (1-1) 12:45 mins. *½

Apriq Laveq (0-1) 220lbs. France vs. George "The Animal" Jr. (0-0) Weight Unknown, The Playground - Junior has a Santa hat and gives out stuffed toys to kids.  Apriq just acts like Apriq around the fans and takes offense to my "Apriq is Apriq" sign.  He apparently decided to get out of Germany and move to France.  Junior shows off and shoves Apriq.  Apriq pokes him, armbar takedown and goes to work pounding away at the arm.  Apriq with a chokehold and rams him in the corner, whip reverse back body drop Junior.  Bootwipe Junior, clothesline, hits a shoulderblock off the second rope for two.  Headbutts by Junior, Apriq LOW BLOW, rollup with tights and it's over!

WINNER:  Apriq Laveq pin -> (1-1) 5:35 mins. *

"Extreme Enforcer" Gavin Alexander (0-1) 275lbs. Atlantic City, NJ vs. Dickie Williams (2-0) 280lbs. The Basement - Dickie goofs around, Gavin slaps him around.  Hammerlock, boot to the rear by Dickie.  Gavin whip clothesline, elbow, fistdrop, he makes a wish and LOW BLOWS him!  Williams KICK WHAM DDT, elbow gets one.  Gavin with shots to the head, chop, elbow, ANOTHER LOW BLOW by Gavin.  Dickie with a kick and misses a legdrp.  Gavin with a rake, whip clothesline by Dick.  Gavin bails out, Dickie follows and they fight outside.  Dickie clotheslines the post, oops.  Gavin clotheslines Dickie and throws him in.  Gavin slowly gets back in and Dickie is ready for him.  Knee jam, splash, snap mare, armbar on the mat by Dickie, then starts drumming on Gavin's chest.  Gavin rolls out, chase, Gavin with the stomps and shoulderblocks.  Dickie reverses a whip to the corner, Dickie becomes completely lost, and Gavin nails him for two.  Dickie KNEE LOW BLOW, then sits on him for three.  Not great.

WINNER:  Dickie Williams pin -> (3-0) 7:50 mins. *¼

Hardcore KC (0-1) 170lbs. Kansas City, MO vs. "The Freshman" Matt Boston (1-2) 132lbs. Carbondale, IL - Chris Lee cannot say the words "Sigma Omega Beta", much less say the names with feeling.  Lee omits the fact that KC is half of Maximum Impact.  I should make note, these two guys were part of the triple threat tables tag match in November Reign.  Colin McDowe says he has no interest in this match, I shout I don't respect him for saying that.  "The Wrangler" Eric Ruffington is your referee.  Armdrag, hip toss, and slam KC.  Freshman does the same in response.  Shoulderblocks Matt, whip reverse and we have a sidestep.  Matt headscissors him out.  KC back in, whip armdrag KC, standing suplex gets two.  KC with a splash to the corner, legdrop gets two.  Boston with the flying headscissors, Boston goes up and hits a crossbody for two.  Wheelbarrow attempt by Boston gets an X-Factor from KC for two.  Powerslam KC gets two.  I should note, the crowd doesn't wanna make noise during this match and the wrestlers in the back are being loud and ruckus trying to get the crowd into it.  I dunno WHY the crowd isn't into it, maybe they haven't been to a Springfield show before.  KC slugs away and gets two.  Whip to the corner, Boston goes for a monkey flip, KC catches him and they flop to the mat.  KC appears to have tweaked his knee.  Drop kick KC gets one.  Slugfest, Matt with a flip cover gets one.  Boston with the wheelbarrow bulldog and barely pulls it off for two.  KC with the F5 gets TWO!  Slugaway, Boston botches a spinning DDT.  Ref gets to eight, Matt covers for two.  KC with an inverted neckbreaker, that is called "The Hard Way" which I haven't seen him use in like forever, wins it.  Some people did not like the match, yeah they were botching moves toward the end but sheesh.

WINNER:  Hardcore KC pin -> (1-1) 11 mins. **

We go to intermission.  Chris Lee goes to announce and Miami Vice starts playing.  Hey that's the music I want to use!  Slick Rick Castle FINALLY arrives at the place like an hour and a half LATE and scolds Lee for doing his job.  Hey Castle, what the heck were they supposed to do without a ring announcer since you were so busy getting your hair waxed?  Wrestlers go to the ring without being identified?  MORON.  So the last half of the show, we have McDowe sucking and Castle blowing.

Mississippi Madman (1-1) 370lbs. Olive Branch, MS w/ Pat Mugroin vs. Truk Thompson (1-0) 295lbs. Mechanicsburg, IL - Pat Mugroin is managing Madman???  That's the oddest pairing I've ever seen, a 3CW manager with a NMW guy.  I know PMS was offering to be his manager instead.  Lockup, no one gets anything.  Shoulderblocks Truk cause Madman to bail out who screams at Truk.  Madman wants a strength test, but pounds him down instead.  Madman slam, choke on the rope, Mugroin joins in.  If I was named MuGROIN, I'd be cranky too.  And he better quit waving that cane around at me.  Madman elbow misses, Truk hits the elbows.  Madman reverses the whip and hits a SPINNING HEEL KICK!  Choke Madman, he kicks away and does a jump kick.  Madman argues with Eric Ruffington and causes HIM to bail!  Mugroin gets a choke in, Madman with a full nelson, Truk escapes and goes for a DDT but gets blocked.  Shoulderblock Madman, DDT Truk.  Ref counts to eight, Madman up and chops Truk.  Whip to the corner, Madman misses the splash but Truk didn't!  Truk with the ten punch count.  Madman reverses the whip and gets the BIG SPLASH!  Madman with the suplex, then the bearhug!  Truk breaks free, Madman with the BOOT, goes to choke but Truk blocks it.  SPEAR Truk gets two!  The crowd is making a lot of noise throughout.  Truk clothesline has no effect, but a second rope clothesline takes him down for two!  Truk goes to slam Madman but CAN'T HOLD HIM and nearly gets pinned!  Madman elbow misses, Truk CHARGES but runs into the MADMAN 5TH FLOOR DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!!!  ITS ALL OVER!!!  Dang Madman learned a few things from Viscera!

WINNER: Mississippi Madman pin -> (1-1) 14:30 mins. ***¼

Truk Thompson wants the mike.  He says he took his 5th floor and he's still standing!  HEY YOU LOST!  He calls Madman the Mississippi Mudslide, and he wants to fight Madman again at the next show in a tag match with partners of their choice.  Castle does a poor imitation of a country boy to mock him.

"Mr. Everything" JC Michaels (1-0) 304lbs. Hollywood, CA vs. "Golden Eagle" Chip Conway (1-1) 122lbs. Anytown, USA - JC comes out wearing an Underdog shirt!  Yep JC is everything cause he EATS EVERYTHING!!!  Chip Conway has been favoring his knee the past couple of days, cause it became swollen somehow.  And it's another big mismatch, heavyweight versus a bantumweight.  Chip goes on the attack, and JC bails.  JC back in and goes after the knee and sends Chip down head first.  SPLASH JC, slam gets ONE.  Butterfly armbar JC, then starts working the bad knee and gets a two count.  DDT JC gets two.  Standing figure four by JC, but turns it loose and clotheslines him.  Chip botches a clothesline, legdrop, Chip works JC's leg.  But JC reverses it into a crossarm breaker!  He lets go and chokes away!  JC hits his finisher which I don't have a name or good view of for two.  JC reverses a whip and Chip bashes his knee into the turnbuckle.  The ref gives the X sign, JC ignores the ref and goes for a suplex but Chip reverses it into a messed up looking DDT for three.

WINNER:  Chip Conway pin -> (2-1) 8:25 mins. *¾

GAW Tag Champ "Golden Boy" Mickey McNelson (1-1) 205lbs. Belfast, Ireland w/ Pat Mugroin vs. Jaxson Pride (1-1) 215lbs. Freedom, PA - Castle announces McNelson at ONE HUNDERD and FIVE pounds!  BULL!  Mickey is in no way shape or form a flyweight.  Pride kicks Mickey in the butt on the way in the ring.  They trade hammerlocks, shoveoff with a shoudlerblock by Mickey.  Pride does a horrible looking Thesz Press and pounds away on the mat.  Drop kick to the chin by Pride sends Mick reeling to the outside.  Lockup and a rake, choke with a boot by Mick.  They trade chops, Pride with the whip gets the back body drop for two.  Clothesline gets two.  Mickey reverses the whip and gets the clothesline for two.  Knee to the head, he works him on the mat, Pride fires back, hits the enzuigiri for two.  Pride chops him but gets hit with a shot low and dumped on the outside.  Mickey rams Pride into the stairs, into the post, toss in the ring gets two.  Jaxson with a rollup gets two, small package, backslide, then into the sleeper.  Mickey slams him, second rope fistdrop gets two.  Mickey goes back up, Pride slams him off for two.  Pride slugs away, baseball slide drop kick, head slam from the second rope gets two.  Mickey with a LOW BLOW, then locks in Ted Dibiase's old Million Dollar Dream sleeper.  Pride gets out of it, running drop kick gets two.  Mickey pounds away, goes to the second rope, Pride joins him and hits an inverted rock bottom he calls Shattered Pride and pins him!

WINNER:  Jaxson Pride pin -> (2-1) 13:45 mins. ***

JC Michaels comes out right away to spoil the celebration and says if he wants a taste of gold he's gonna have to win a surprise battle royal for a title shot in February.  JC says he's gonna save Pride the humilation of being eliminated by him by sending the Mississippi Madman to do it instead.  Madman attacks Pride.  The other wrestlers are slow to come out.

14-Man Battle Royal
So the winner gets the heavyweight title shot in February.  Madman pounds away on an exhausted Pride, this a two man battle royal?  Madman with the double chokeslam on Pride!  Truk Thompson, Joe Cain, Petey Clark, Chip Conway hit the ring.  Apriq Laveq, Billy Reno, Gavin Alexander, Freshman, Hardcore KC, Dickie Williams, Richard Biggs, Adam Starr follow.  Chip Conway gets tossed by Madman first.  Truk splashes Madman, dropkick Cain on Apriq.  Starr and Apriq go after Clark, Truk tries to dump Madman but KC and Reno dump THEM over!  Freshman and Apriq dump Clark out, Apriq tries to dump Freshman, KC tries to dump Starr, Pride DUMPS Apriq out!  Truk and Madman fight to the back.  Boston shoulderblocks Starr, Biggs tries to powerbomb Cain, Cain clotheslines BIGGS out somehow!  Boston tries to get rid of Starr, Cain comes to help but he hangs on.  Gavin goes after KC, Pride goes after Gavin, Reno goes after Freshman.  Elbow Reno on Boston, Cain throws Adam Starr out along with Dickie Williams, Pride dumps Gavin out, Cain works on KC, Boston works Reno.  Starr is limping to the back.  KC dumps Joe Cain, Pride whip Reno spinebuster!  Final four, KC, Reno, Pride, and Boston!  KC gets rid of Reno!  Well well, NMW guys along with Pride, and KC & Boston team up on Pride.  KC holds Pride for the splash, Boston and KC try to dump Pride but Pride gets rid of Boston.  Pride suplex on KC, Mugroin is out here again.  KC with a rake, charges but Pride tosses KC out and it's over!  I generally don't rate battle royals so I'll pass on this one.

WINNER:  Jaxson Pride -> (3-1) 5:50 mins. N/A

The McNelsons charge the ring with a chair, but Pride intercepts it and chairshots both men.  Unfortunately Shamus hits the BIG SPLASH on Pride.  JC starts counting for reasons unknown but stops as a bloodied Lucky Dane comes in the front door with a chair!  JC in a panic changes it to a hardcore match.  Dane demands a mike, and screams at the Irish Revolution that they attacked him and Lizzy O'Shea in the parking lot of the Holiday Inn leaving Lizzy in the hospital being stitched up for a wound in the back of the head.  Them BASTARDS!!!  He demands a Chicago Street Fight right now.

GAW Heavyweight Championship - Hardcore Match
(c)Lucky Dane (3-0) 215lbs. Dublin, OH vs. GAW Tag Champ Shamus McNelson (0-1) 362lbs. Belfast, Ireland w/ Pat Mugroin - Dane goes to work on Shamus, snap mare, whip and a BOOT.  What the heck crap is that attacking Lizzy?  Rear chinlock Dane, poke Shamus, chokehold.  Shamus dumps Dane outside.  Oh boy, I hope they don't fight toward me.  If I didn't say it earlier, I'm in the front row again.  But what I'm really worried about is the kids who are playing with the single thin yellow rope between them and the ring.  Dane rams Shamus into the stairs, Dane with a chairshot!  Shot to the leg, shot to the back!  Back in, Dane sets up the chair.  Dane with the whip, drop toe hold into the chair gets two!  Mugroin in response to me shouting how dare you attack a woman, he says he'll do what he'll want, I say he'll go to jail, he says he doesn't see a badge.  I don't need a badge, I'm the Crimefighter and I got handcuffs!  Dane kicks the chair at Mugroin, double legdrop to the nuts.  Dane dumps Shamus out, Shamus throws Dane into the post!  Shamus has a chokehold, they are fighting in front of me, Shamus applies a sleeper, Dane with a jawbreaker!  Dane hits Shamus with a cinderblock!  More chairshots, the puts the block on Shamus's back, CHAIRSHOT on the block!  Dane tosses him in, gets his title belt, throws the chair in.  Dane puts the leg through the chair and STOMPS IT!  Dane starts ripping hair out of Shamus's beard!  Dane armbar DDT, he's wielding a chair, the kids need to move back, another chairshot, puts the chair on Shamus and sits on it and wins!

WINNER and STILL CHAMP:  Lucky Dane pin -> (4-0) 9:40 mins. **

JC Michaels and Mickey McNelson come back out here.  Jaxson Pride runs out to even the odds.  Dane wants to take out the trash. Pride who won the title shot for Feburary has Dane's respect.  Pride challenges the Irish Revolution for the tag titles next month.  Dane agrees.  JC Michaels will agree but only cause JC gets to pick the referee.  Oh I can see where THAT is going...he'll pick either himself, Mr. Benjamin or Mugroin.  

The Verdict:  The show was a little better than last month, but still got a ways to go as I still have a buzz from November Reign.  The next firmly scheduled show is January 22nd in Pana, IL with another show TBA elsewhere.

Thumbs in the middle.