The Rap Sheet - from the Mad Conservative
Great American Wrestling
4/29/2K5  Maroa, IL

Round one of the Freedom Cup Tourney.

Live from Maroa, your ring announcer and commentator is Chris Lee, in the booth with him is Sammy Da Bull from ESPN Radio's affliate in Decatur.  Your referee for every match is Ricky Brewer.  Total attendance was about 75.

Chris Lee welcomes us to PANA, apparently forgetting that he is in Maroa.  After the national anthem, the entire roster comes out as Lee informs the crowd about the passing of Chris Candido and has the bell rung ten times.  

Jaxson Pride and Joe Cain come back out to talk.  Pride talks about the Freedom Cup, the winner gets a trophy of some sort.  Pride says his money is on Joe Cain to win it and everyone should bet on him.  Pride wants a rematch against JC Michaels tonight for the title.  Well he's most definately the #1 contender still.  Oh boy Ben Taylor and his posse are out.  Taylor gave JC the night off, Pride wants to know what he's supposed to do.  Now more goofs come out, Hot Commodity.  Gavin runs his mouth about the bounty, and Reno has a suitcase full of poker chips, just like the ones you can buy at Wal-Mart.  Ben Taylor sets up a gauntlet match with six men and whoever takes out Pride gets the $250,000 in poker chips.  Taylor won't say who they are, so I call him a wuss...and that pisses him off.  Pride leads a wuss chant on Taylor.  Pride tells them he should get the chips if he beats them all himself, Reno agrees to it.

Dickie Williams (4-3) 280lbs. His Momma's Basement vs. Gavin Alexander (1-3) 275lbs Atlantic City, NJ - Gavin was supposed to wrestle Gino Latino, but he was one of many guys that couldn't get here, and I'm glad he's NOT here.  Williams was supposed to wrestle Mickey McNelson but he couldn't be here.  Dickie attacks, whip splash in the corner and Gavin bails.  Williams gives chase, Gavin stomps him back in and hits a DDT.  Gavin slaps him on the chest, whip clothesline on the side of the head.  Gavin whip again, Dickie does an uglier clothesline and drops a headbutt to the groin.  Dickie drops a bad elbow for one.  Gavin leaves, Dickie attacks, they get back in the ring, Dickie gets an ankle lock and removes Gavin's shoe in the process.  Gavin with the LOW BLOW, locks in a form of a crossface and gets the submission.  Just an ugly match.

WINNER:  Gavin Alexander submission -> (2-3) 3:50 mins. DUD

Gavin takes some parting shots on his way out.  It seems something's wrong with the ring as several workers come out to work on the thing, adjusting the ring ropes as they are quite loose.  Chris Lee tells Sammy Da Bull not to turn his back on me, unaware that we've corresponded in the past.

Tru Talent Johnathan Scott (3-2-1) 217lbs. St. Louis, MO vs. GAW Tag Champ George the 3rd (0-0) ???lbs. The Playground - They lockup, shove and 3rd claims his hair was pulled...but he's bald, so he switches to his chest hair.  Third teases doing a strength test so finally Scott does a headlock takedown, shoveoff shoulderblock by Third.  Armwringer Third, and he stops to do an "I Bite Too" joke after being warned not to bite.  Headlock takedown Third, and attempts to bite the fingers of Scott, claiming he hasn't had dinner and wanted finger sandwiches.  Cute.  Scott gets a rake, he kicks and pounds away and hits an elbow for two.  Tru Talent does a bit of an ugly slam and locks in something like half the Rings of Saturn.  Third with the whip but Scott hits the shoulder block, suplex attempt blocked, Johnny Scott with a DDT that looks more like a barrel roll, headbutt by Scott has no effect, Third with the whip and splash in the corner.  Takedown, knees to the arm by Third, headbutts, he yells for the Iron Claw and slaps it on.  Scott taps.  Match was less ugly but still ugly.

WINNER:  George the 3rd submission -> (1-0) 7:40 mins. *

And George the Third brings in some kids for Dance Dance Revolution.  

Jessie Clark (0-1) 200lbs. The Clark Farm vs. Richard Biggs III (0-2) 280lbs Upper East Side - Spencer Powers had arrived with Jason Devall taking seats next to me in the middle of the prior match, and SSP gets into a spat with Jaxson Pride.  They lockup and shove each other, Biggs hits a splash.  Whip to the corner, Biggs gets a GOOD bodyslam, does a hip toss.  Armdrags by Jessie, Japanese arm drag.  Biggs takes a break, then comes back in to chain wrestle.  Biggs hits a clothesline, big splash gets two.  He hits another splash as Lucky Dane has arrived and takes a seat.  Jessie counters with his own splash and hits a bulldog for two.  Jessie with a shoulderblock, knee shots to the back, he locks in a double underhook armbar.  Whip hip toss by Jessie gets two.  DDT gets two.  LOW BLOW Biggs, suplex gets two.  Elbow by Biggs, slugfest, Jessie with the whip and hits a clothesline in the BACK of the head after Biggs passed him.  Okay, I've never seen that before.  Tornado DDT attempt is blocked, Biggs with a scoop powerbomb wins it.  Match was better, the botched clothesline at the end was the only flaw in an otherwise average bout.

WINNER:  Richard Biggs the 3rd pin -> (1-2) 7:40 mins. *¾

They have to do some more adjustments to the ropes.  SSP comments he almost beat Lucky Dane.

Prime Time Playa (0-1) 190lbs. San Franciso, CA w/ Ms. Black vs. "The Wranger" Eric Ruffington (debut) 215lbs. Bonkers, TX - Well certain women in my section really do not like Ms. Black's outfit and thinks kids shouldn't see it.  Yeah I can see why.  PTP was supposed to wrestle Kaval but he couldn't be here.  Forget the fact that some other wimpy guy named Ruffington was ever a referee.  Headlock Ruff, armbar PTP, Ruff with a roll and trip gets one.  Armdrag Ruff, kick off, takedown Ruff, armlock PTP, armwringer Ruff, chop PTP.  Ruff chops back, whip GORILLA PRESS Ruffington.  Ms. Black jumps on the apron, PTP bails and Ruff gives chase outside.  Ruff hits PTP with an atomic drop, chop, toss in and Ruff gets two.  PTP reverses a move attempt and hits a dropkick.  Ruff with a rollup for two, small package, backslide gets two.  Clothesline PTP, choke, and a spinning flapjack.  PTP goes for what appears to be an inverted Boston Crab, but grabs the arms and turns it into a pendulum.  He drops it and lands a kick for two.  PTP chokes on the rope and does a running sitdown, PTP does something to the ref and goes back to choke.  PTP with a legdrop, second rope elbow and covers with one foot for two.  Whip reverse tilt-a-whirl slam by Ruff gets two.  Ruff to the second rope, crossbody gets two.  Ruff with a death valley driver into the knee gets two.  PTP tries a fameasser but misses, Ruff with the torture rack...into a powerbomb!  Ms. Black hops on the apron, Ruff tries to get the ref to quit looking at Ms. Black's assets, PTP nails Ruff, goes to the second and hits the fameasser for the win.  Well that's more like it, match of the night.

WINNER:  Prime Time Playa pin -> (1-1) 10:35 mins. ***½

We go to intermission where more ring adjustments are made.  When we come back from break, Shamus McNelson is told the match with Truk Thompson has been scrapped and he gets the night off.  Shamus will have none of it, he wants to beat the crap outta someone tonight, even if its someone out of the crowd.  He runs down Sammy the Bull and he responds he'll remember this when he gets 51% of the fed.  Big Lucky chant.  Shamus obviously had to stop and point at me as a possible opponent and I get up and leave as SSP cracks up.  Shamus then points to SSP and tells him his spotlight has faded.  So Shamus keeps walking and stops in front of Lucky Dane, he says he's not supposed to be here.  Well he bought a ticket!  Shamus runs his mouth, Lucky responds that he's just a fan and he's man enough to back down and he's beat up his horse in the grocery store and took him out with a cinder block.  Ben Taylor once again has to abuse his position and boot Lucky Dane out of the building.  Well REFUND HIS TEN BUCKS!  Lucky says if he's being booted out, he's gonna get his money's worth and lunges at Shamus!  Big pull apart brawl ensues as security tries to pull them apart, but Shamus throws one of them in the ring...

Shamus McNelson (1-3) 362lbs. Dublin, Ireland vs. Security Guy Frank (debut) 6'4" 165lbs. Parts Unknown - Shamus throws him in the ring and pounds him into the mat before dropping TWO BIG SPLASHES and slaps on a half crab for a submission.  NEXT!  Oh Shamus won't let go and Dickie Williams runs in to bash Shamus with a chair to break it up.

WINNER:  Shamus McNelson submission -> (2-3) 55 seconds DUD

Petey Clark (2-1) 180lbs. The Clark Farm vs. Apriq Laveqn (4-4-1) 225lbs. France - Armbar Apriq, Pete works over the arm, Apriq trips him and does a drop toe hold.  Pete clothesline gets one.  Whip Apriq clothesline Pete, legdrop gets two.  Rake by Apriq, he slugs away but Petey shoves him off and wants a test of strength.  They lock up and Apriq monkey flips him over.  Pete with a small package for two, Apriq chokes him in retaliation.  A weak whip by Apriq, rollup Pete gets two.  Apriq with the elbow and choke, suplex attempt is blocked, Pete reverses it for two.  Armdrags by Pete, LOW BLOW Apriq.  Backbreaker and stretch by Apriq.  Apriq tries a pedigree, Pete blocks it and hits an impaler for three.  That's all!

WINNER:  Petey Clark pin -> (3-1) 7:30 mins. **

"Modernday Kid" Joe Cain (2-5) 120lbs. Orlando, FL vs. Smooth GQ Suavey (0-0) 185lbs. San Franciso, CA w/ Ms. Black - Fans say GQ is wearing a garbage bag for pants.  Armbar GQ, drop toe hold.  Joe gets some sort of facelock on the mat.  GQ headlock takedown gets two.  Joe with his own takedown and GQ decides to get out.  GQ back in, dropkick to the knee, amrbar flip gets two.  Joe kicks and chops away, whip belly to belly slam gets two.  Joe DDT gets two.  GQ pokes him, whip forearm shot to the chest.  Prime Time Playa is watching the match from the far side of the gym.  GQ tosses him to the mat, belly to back suplex, GQ stupidly does a one foot cover for two.  Slap by Joe, running side kick, Joe goes for a running shooting star press...and doesn't make the full rotation...and lands HARD on his shoulder.  Oh boy, I thought it was gonna be over there.  Joe gets up and hits a suplex, GQ hits back with a side suplex for two.  GQ slams Joe's knee into the mat, fisherman's suplex and GQ does some fancy cover for two.  Joe elbows him for two.  Joe goes up, swanton bomb lands on one of his legs.  GQ tries to take advantage, but Joe with a flying headscissors (Chris Lee keeps calling that a hurraconranna!  Don't you know the difference Lee?  And you keep running around telling me I know NOTHING about wrestling?), but they clothesline each other down.  Double kip up by the wrestlers, GQ hits a butterfly suplex, GQ with a form of a standing reverse figure four...but drops it.  GQ goes up instead, 450 legdrop misses the target, Joe with a running neckbreaker gets three!  Cruiser action rules!

WINNER: Joe Cain pin -> (3-5) 9:30 mins. ***

John Scott comes out whining that he should have another chance to prove himself and that he shouldn't had lost.  Too bad.  Truk Thompson comes out...hey, why was he pulled from the match with Shamus earlier?  Scott says it's his ring and he'll take his spot in the Freedom Cup.  Gee he already lost.  Truk lets out a yell and they go at it!

Truk Thompson (2-2-1) 295lbs. Mechanicsburg, IL vs. Tru Talent Johnathan Scott (3-3-1) 217lbs. St. Louis, MO - Hey this is a rematch from the 2nd that I never saw! Scott with the whip, running knee.  He chops away, Truk just glares at him, SPEAR, bye bye!  Some talent he was.  And reportedly he's suffered some sort of injury and will be out a while.

WINNER:  Truk Thompson pin -> (3-2-1) 42 seconds DUD

Gauntlet Match - Six vs. One
Jaxson Pride (7-2) 220lbs. Freedom, PA vs. Prime Time Playa (1-1) - SSP puts his chair as close to the ring as possible to glare at him.  Pride calls him Barney, and thus we get the new Barney Jennetty chants.  Ben Taylor gets into an argument with Sammy Da Bull, and boots Sammy out, even though he's the commentator.  Eric Ruffington says he gives PTP 90 seconds.  Armdrags by PTP, slam and PTP showboats around.  Pride with an armdrag, slams him.  PTP with a rake and slugs him down.  PTP with a slam and locks in some sort of wild stretch move but lets go in favor of a rear chinlock.  Crossbody Pride, SHATTERED PRIDE takes him out.

WINNER:  Jaxson Pride pin -> (8-2) 4:55 mins. **

Jaxson Pride vs. Gavin Alexander (1-3) - Someone quips if they put SSP's shirt on Gavin he can be Grimace of McDonalds.  HAHA!  Clothesline by Pride, DDT by Gavin, spinebuster gets two.  Gavin pulls at Pride's face, Irish whip, Pride does a jumping enziguri and pins him.  You're kidding me?  For some reason PTP stayed out here.

WINNER:  Jaxson Pride pin -> (9-2) 6:45 mins. ¼*

Jaxson Pride vs. Apriq Laveq (4-5-1) - Apriq hits a DDT and ties up the legs.  Some kid runs up and slaps PTP on the back then runs back to the bleachers.  Oh that was amusing, though illegal.  For some reason every person that's defeated is staying out here.  Ab stretch by Apriq, SSP gripes about his hold being used and that he does it better.  Pride gets out of it, spinning leg neckbreaker gets two.  Pedigree by Pride pins him.

WINNER:  Jaxson Pride pin -> (10-2) 9:10 mins. ½*

Jaxson Pride vs. Shamus McNelson (2-3) - Shamus tries to enter with a chair but Pride hits a clothesline to no effect, a third one knocks him down, but he hits one back.  SPLASH by Shamus gets two.  Torture rack Shamus, he dumps Pride into a pile of wrestlers to work over on the floor.  So THAT'S why they stayed out here, and I was informed if anyone tries to stop them they'd get fired.  Well that makes Taylor a bigger wussarse.  Shamus with a splash to the back, elbow, whip side slam gets two.  Shamus whip clothesline gets two.  Pride with a drop kick, Shamus falls outside, Pride goes up and DIVES on the crowd!  They're both back in, whip Shamus, Pride hits a boot, head slam, Pride hits some form of an X-Factor for the pin.

WINNER:  Jaxson Pride pin -> (11-2) 14:55 mins. *½

Jaxson Pride vs. "Nevada Madman" Billy Reno (2-2) - People think MS Madman is coming out, but he's in the Quad Cities.  Well being a little guy you shouldn't steal a 400 pound guy's gimmick cause Jaxson blasts him with a spinebuster, Shattered Pride and he's out already!

WINNER:  Jaxson Pride pin -> (12-2) 15:50 mins. DUD

Jaxson Pride vs. Ben Taylor (0-0) - Ben Taylor runs his mouth on the mike.  Wrestler distraction, SUPERKICK Taylor and he pins him for the wussout win.

WINNER:  Ben Taylor pin -> (1-0) 17:50 mins. DUD

Judged as an overall match, call it ***.  Though now about half these guys have been jettisoned out of the top ten and look real weak now.  Pride has a very tight grip on the #1 contender spot.  Why did JC Michaels not wrestle tonight?  Reno hands Taylor the suitcase of poker chips.  JC Michaels comes out to run his mouth and gloat, Gavin Alexander says congrats this was perfectly planned.  JC Michaels hits his wrapper move.  Sammy Da Bull runs out with a baseball bat and everyone flees the ring.  Sammy says the next show he's beating Taylor's arse!  Pride has JC's belt and Reno has wasted his money paying out when he didn't get the job done.  SSP starts mouthing off at Pride, and the chants ring out.  Pride says Fat Hardy and Barney Jennetty should form a tag team called the Has-Beens.  SSP is irate, and we have a brawl going on in the aisle!  Ruffington tries to break that up, Joe Cain and Apriq are brawling, Sammy and Ben Taylor brawl through the curtain!  SSP pounds Pride down and gets him in the ab stretch!  Security finally get order restored and it's over.  Kids chant "gay guys wear purple" and "Barney".

All right, a quick look at the second round matches for the tourney, assuming they ran them all top to bottom and didn't mix up the bracketing:

Gavin Alexander vs. George the 3rd
Richard Biggs III vs. Prime Time Playa
Shamus McNelson vs. Petey Clark
Joe Cain vs. Truk Thompson

The Verdict:  Ring problems notwithstanding, match quality just varied greatly.  If the two squash matches are ignored the night of wrestling gets to about average.  As for the ring problems, well call it a learning experience for those who put it up.  We'll see how it goes on the 20th, the date of the next show.

Thumbs in the middle, leaning up.