The Rap Sheet - by the Crimefighter
New Midwest Wrestling - First Blood
Springfield, IL, 4/27/2K2

Time to look back at the previous shows and compare the past to the present events and add some comments throughout the recaps where appropriate.

New Midwest Wrestling finally ran it's first show in over a year this past weekend after more than a year of uncertainty whether it would ever run a show again. The school began operating on 11/4/1999 and was housed in an old movie theater. They were forced to move into an old warehouse as crowds of fifty or more showed up to watch as word of mouth spread, hitting a peak of nearly 300 people with a show they called Capital Punishment with no advertising whatsoever. Shortly afterward, they were forced to move again settling briefly in an old icehouse before the city declared it unfit for public use. They stayed homeless until about February 2002 and leased a new building just outside of Springfield. Soon after, a show was scheduled in a soccer arena dubbed First Blood. I, the Crimefighter, have been waiting to attend one of NMW's shows after reading about the group in an issue of the Illinois Times, that ironically was the point of which they became homeless for a time. Now that I've attended a show, I am satisfied with the performance of the wrestlers. This is a recap of what transpired that night which crowned the Midwest Heavyweight and Central IL Champions. I'm assuming the "out-of-staters" are local residents but chose to be announced from their original hometowns.

[CF Note: Unfortunately, in writing this recap I was hampered by someone who threw a hissy-fit over the way I was taking notes, and if you are that person....STOP READING NOW. I have written recaps before but relying on memory alone just doesn't cut it, writing notes also doesn't cut it, so I tried taking notes with a tape recorder. I had no problems during the first half of the show snapping pictures of the action and talking (not very loudly with all the shouting going on around me), then the second half of the show some guy sits next to me that was sitting somewhere else earlier. Then this guy gets annoyed at me talking into the recorder, and claims I sound like a radio. Soon after during the ladder match this guy threats violence and I was forced to move. Hypocritically, he does not tell the other people sitting close to him to quit talking and shouting. So because of this, and you know who you are, you are not welcome to continue reading, and if you do, you are nothing more than a pathetic lamer.]

To start the show the ring announcer goes over the card then introduces Stan Sallinger as president of NMW as well as other formalities. The referee is for the first half is Chuck Inskipp, who incidentally underwent a unspecified organ transplant operation just days later.

Round One Midwest Heavyweight Title Tourney --

"Alpha Male" Guy Smith (6', 250lbs, Rapid City, SD) w/ "Hot Valet" vs. El Diablo Silverado (5'8", 173lbs, Beardstown, IL) Smith is the heel, and Silverado is the only "luchador" in the group, Hot Valet is a cute blonde woman. A fast furry to start by Diablo sends Smith to the outside, and lots of stalling. Male with headlock, Irish whip, reversal, knee to the gut on Diablo. Shoulder block by Male, Diablo with a dragon leg whip, clotheslines Smith out of the ring then does a plunger on him. Smith catches him on another crossbody on the outside and Diablo's back is rammed into the post twice. Diablo thrown back in and covered for two. Bodyslam by Male gets two. Diablo punched out in the corner, Irish whip to the other, Male eats boot and gets sunset flipped for two, multiple reversals into a tilt-a-whirl pinning combination for two. Alpha Male hits two backbreakers on Diablo. Surfboard by Male, pulls the neck then releases. Suplex, clothesline to Male's face. Diablo hits leg-drop from the second rope for two. Hot Valet distracts Diablo allowing Alpha Male to get a low blow and a three count.

WINNER: "Alpha Male" Guy Smith pin -> (1-0)

Rip Mystic (5'8", 180lbs, Hannibal, MO) vs. "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (5'10", 170lbs, Rushville, IL). Well despite the incident later, the batteries went out at this time and I didn't have notes on this match other than the pictures. Forced to use the ones I had spare for the digital camera, which sucks power like crazy. . And what was glaring is how many cruiserweights there are with the heaviest man only 270lbs. You see, why do the biggie feds not have a division for cruiserweights, middleweights, and welterweights? Why make Spike Dudley or Rey Mysterio Jr. wrestle people 150-200 pounds heavier than them? I don't buy into the "larger than life" theory of what people want to see in wrestling, cause its killing it. The men lock up, Grissom puts Rip in the corner and hurls him to the other, misses the tackle, Rip eventually lands a running charge, spin kick, Grissom comes back with a few clotheslines, ties up Mystic in the tree of woe but misses a baseball slide kick to the face, Grissom gets a suplex, Rip strikes back with a somersault handspring elbow and in the end Mystic wins with the "Bitter End" which is a modified implant DDT. Match was good, though I can't remember much of the details now.

WINNER: Rip Mystic pin -> (1-0)

Interview segment: Jason Wells comes out, who is set to wrestle in the triple-threat ladder match. "Sit down before you have a heart attack." Tried my best to get a "WHAT?" chant going, but not many people took part. "I came out here to get a couple things straight, Springfield sucks!" The last time someone said that on a Springfield wrestling show, they ended up leaving on a stretcher. He goes on an insult rant, "you cheer for the good guys, you boo the bad guys, what's the point?" What's he talking about? He claims Michael Shard made him see the light. He complains about Tom Arson, formerly known as "Spector", another opponent in the match, upset that he's getting cheered all of a sudden and says he'd beat his arse if you saw him. Arson says "how you doing". Arson says he's not proud of his prior actions as Spector, chews up Wells for wasting our time and being such a baby. It quickly turns into a pull-apart brawl. Security and Sallinger rush in to break it up, Wells had to be dragged off.

Michael Shard (5'8", 170lbs, Santa Monica, CA) w/ Prof. Phillip H. Dempsey vs. Sage Ramsey (6'4", 270lbs, Peoria, IL). PHD, eh? Ha ha. Managers are such a rare breed these days, but this guy is old school for sure. You'd think Shard wouldn't have a chance with this mismatch, but this is when managers are used to save their hides. "You know I hate to break it to you but your lives aren't worth very much are they?" PHD rambles about everyone's daily routines, but after tonight our lives will be fulfilled, we will have something special, and his guy will have championship gold. Then he finally introduces Shard. PHD certainly has been eating well. Sage comes to the ring and we start. Trash talk, then Sage tries a clothesline and missing. Shard stalls like mad. Collar and elbow, then Shard gets away and lays on the top rope. Sage walks into a headlock, then an armbar. Sage shoves Shard off him. Baseball slide under Sage by Shard then dragon-screw leg whips Sage. Lock-up, go behind Shard, Sage elbows up down. Bodyslam by Sage, legdrop gets two. Shard tries to punch Sage's head and hurts his hand, then tries again. Ramsey nails Shard in the head three times, Shard thinks he's in a tag match, Sage throws Shard outside. Sage goes out PHD cuts him off, Shard circles the ring and tries a crossbody off the apron. Sage tries to send Shard into the post but Sage eats it himself. Shard bodyslams the 270lb Sage! PHD then mugs Ramsey on the outside. Shard kicks Sage in the back, throws him back in for a two count. Shard chokes him, puts him in a headlock. Sage back up, shoulder blocks, botched spot, bodyslam. Knee to the gut by Shard. Shard takes Sage to the corner, reversal, Shard begs off, test of strength, Sage holds Shard's entire body up in the air with just the hands locked together. Shard managed to escape, slingshot crossbody blocked, powerslam by Sage gets two. Avalanche to the corner, full-nelson slam by Sage gets two. Sage Irish whip, misses clothesline, slides underneath, Shard gets a knee lift. Shard on top, misses a leg drop. Sage hits a Rock Bottom, gets two?!? Sage throws Shard to the corner, eats boot. Shard hops on Sage's shoulders, tries a Frankensteiner but can't flip him and gets dumped on his head. Another rock bottom and a possible three count is broken up when PHD puts Shard's leg on the ropes. PHD gets on the apron, Shard on the outside, tries to suplex him it, PHD trips him and holds his legs for the three count. Bleh.

WINNER: Michael Shard pin -> (1-0)

Dredd Walker (5'11", 210lbs, Purgatory) vs. "Real World" Jeremy (6'2", 242lbs, Denver, CO) The third match of the show they began announcing the bouts had a time limit of ten minutes. Foreshadowing perhaps? They shake hands to start. Lockup to the corner, then lots of stalling. Collar & Elbow, takes down Jeremy, headlock by Jeremy, elbow, hammerlock. Dredd flips him, Jeremy gets the armbar for a long while, legdrop by Jeremy, headlock on the mat. Takedown by Jeremy, soon are separated. Whip to the ropes and a trip by Dredd for one, backslide by Jeremy for two, Jeremy does an OK roll for two. Jeremy whipped to the ropes, hip toss by Dredd, bodyslam by Dredd. Dropkick to the chin and out of the ring goes Real World. Baseball slide kick by Dredd. Top rope Dredd, clothesline to the floor. Jeremy thrown back in, covered for two. Chinlock by Dredd. Real World chants. Elbow to the head on a charge by Dredd, kicks to the side of the body, Irish whip, powerslam by Real World gets two. Real World suplexes Dredd for two. Jeremy punches Dredd in the head. Jeremy gets a side-Russian leg sweep for two. Jeremy misses clothesline, Walker kicks Jeremy in the back of the head, sloppy cover gets two. Elbow to the back of the head, Walker irish whip reversal, Walker gets spinebustered for what SHOULD had been three but the ref stops at two despite the shoulders being down. Walker Irish whip, reversal, double leg to the body. Walker bodyslam, to the top, Jeremy up, dropkick off the top rope, Dredd winded. Walker picks up Jeremy, Irish whip, elbow to the chin, clothesline twists Real World inside out just gets two. Chinlock by Dredd, double-arm suplex by Dredd. Attempt by Real World for a Pedigree, gets backdropped as a result. Dredd on top, misses the legdrop. Real World locks in the Texas Cloverleaf, Dredd grabs the ropes, is pulled away, but the bell sounds and it's a time limit draw. Crowd angry, screams for more time and bad officiating. They ain't gonna get it. The wrestlers just shake hands and go.

TIME LIMIT DRAW -> Real World Jeremy (0-0-1), Dredd Walker (0-0-1) 10 mins.

"Alpha Male" Guy Smith gets a BYE to the final round as a result.

Interview Segment: The Joy of Cooking with "The Iron Chef" Leo Lagossi

The chef comes out with Stan Sallinger and announces we are making...something. The guy talks like the Swedish chef from the Muppet Show. Whatever cooking has to do with pro wrestling is beyond me. After blabbering some incoherent nonsense that's definitely NOT Swedish that only Stan Sallinger understands, we're interrupted by a golfer and a caddy! Actually it was Bing Francis Alexia Westlake III who claims to have played Tiger Woods and lost...thus became a pro wrestler (???). He announces his name and hometown, and says we're here to see NMW and not this crap. Then he insults the crowd and says we're here to see wrestling. Bleh, this guy belongs on the Golf Channel, and the chef should head for the Food Network. Stan Sallinger says he's trying to make crumpets; Bing lights up and wants some. He tastes the stuff in the bowl that isn't even done, gasps, and finds a rubber croc in the mix! He flips the table in anger; the chef gets mad and heads for the ring wanting a match. Sallinger says there can't be a match, we're heading for intermission and the refs are on break. Someone suggests picking someone from the audience to ref. Sallinger looks for a volunteer and picks someone from the front row...ugh not him...a man from the audience is gonna referee. Bleh.

Bing Francis Alexia Westlake III (5'10", 165lbs, London, England, UK) w/ The Caddy vs. "The Iron Chef" Leo Lagossi (6'0", 240lbs, Bracke, Sweden) My, another middleweight vs. heavyweight match. Chef with the headlock, shoulderblock, another headlock, shoulderblock, clothesline, shot to the corner. The golfer pulls down the chef's pants and gets a two count. Chef rolls out of the ring as I shout "NEXT TIME WEAR A BELT". Everyone to the outside, golfer gets a cookie sheet and whacks the chef, ref doesn't DQ it, chef steals it and smacks the golfer twice with it. Chef shoves off the golfer and series-suplexes the golfer three times in a row and gets a two count. Golfer gets back body dropped to the apron, then knocked to the floor. Chef gets a spatula, golfer gets a club, they chase each other, then want to "sword fight". They sword fight, but lose their weapons. Golfer punches away at the chef. Suplex into the ring doesn't work, sweet chin music by the golfer. Chef goes out, golfer goes out to jaw with the fans. Chef pulls out a pie out of nowhere and tries to hit the golfer and splats the ref, the golfer gets a pie and tries hitting the chef but also splats the ref, the chef gets a third pie and misses the golfer but pies the Caddy! Whip cream is thrown into the audience. Irish whip to the corner, boot to the face, golfer on the top rope, elbowdrop to the head. Chef trips golfer, golfer covers for two anyway. Irish whip reversal, tackle by chef, golfer tries a tornado DDT but is blocked, chef hits a northern lights suplex for two. Chef spinebusters the golfer, then locks in an upside down figure four. There's pie all over the mat. Irish whip by the chef they try for the fingerpoke, showstopper by golfer gets two. Chef on his feet, belly to side suplex by Chef. Golfer tries a lionsault on the middle rope and slips. Chef gets a knee to the gut on a charge. Cover for two by golfer, another cover after a slam gets three??? Chef goes under the ring, pulls out something in plastic, it's a cake! Golfer isn't looking behind him, chef throws the golfer in a twisting face buster into the cake. Caddy tries to revive him, ref has some cake, golfer gets up and sees the ref laughing at him. Westlake grabs a club and beats the man picked from the crowd to ref with it. Caddy holds the ref for Westlake to do the Fameasser on him into the cake. Comedy matches...wheeeee. Well the victim from the audience ends up training to become a pro wrestler as "The Khaos Kidd" and goes after revenge on the next show.

WINNER: Bing Francis Alexia Westlake III pin -> (1-0)

Round Two Midwest Heavyweight Title Tourney

Rip Mystic vs. Michael Shard w/ Prof. PHD. Incidentally during this match was when my efforts to take notes were starting to be hampered. Takedown by Shard, lots of stalling, another takedown by Shard and messes up Rip's hair. Collar & Elbow, reversal, flip for two by Shard. Kick to the gut by Mystic, sideheadlock, Rip backbodydrop on Shard, then clotheslines him over the top. Rip jumps to the top rope and tackles Shard on the outside, then rams PHD & Shards heads together. Shard dropkicks Rip on the knee. Rip seems hurt, Shard does a kneebreaker. Shard ties him up, grapevines the knee and flips him over. Shard tackle to the corner, throws Rip down by the hair and gets two. Leglock by Shard, grabbing PHD hands for more leverage. Kick to the knee, punching, choking, Irish whip to the corner, Rip gets a sunset flip for two. Shard tossed into the air into a diamond cutter gets only two. Irish whip by Mystic into a spinebuster on Shard. To the corner, somersault handspring elbow to the corner by Rip misses. Rip gets tied in the tree of woe, Shard tries a baseball slide kick to the face. Rip tries a press slam and loses him, then kicks the ref in the face by mistake. Shard gets a chair, Rip kicks PHD off the apron, Shard slams Rips face into the chair, Shard covers no ref. Shard revives the ref, Rip gets a 2nd wind, Irish whip to the corner eats boot. Rip falls out of the ring, is thrown back in, irish whip by Shard, Rip grabs him for the impaler DDT for three.

WINNER: Rip Mystic pin -> (2-0)

Stan Sallinger comes out to announce what we already knew, and seemingly unhappy with it, gives "Alpha Male" Guy Smith a bye. Smith comes out with Hot Valet to gloat. He comes to talk about how happy he is about being invited to the tourney, insults the crowd, and he never had any doubt he had to wrestle three people. Out comes Tom Arson. "I am sick of all the talking!" He tells Smith to get lost, and Smith leaves.

Triple Threat Ladder Match for the Central IL Championship

Tom Arson (6'5", 260lbs, St. Louis, MO) vs. Jason Wells (6'0", 230lbs, Kansas City, MO) vs. Scotty Cash (5'9", 170lbs, Springfield, IL) It was the middle of this match when I was threatened with violence, making my evening much less enjoyable. Cash comes out next, "Dude, thank you kind sir, anyway, been a lot of talk, got an insurance policy..." Rambles about the events of the night, Jason Wells comes in from the crowd and jumps Arson. They double team and does a double-hip toss on Arson. They pick up Arson for a double-suplex. The special guest ref comes out from the Land of Lusha, Luscious P. Coltrane. Double teaming continues, Irish whip, Arson comes back with a clothesline on Wells, bodyslam on Cash, Wells slams Arson. Wells drops an elbow on Arson, choke and hair pull on Arson. Double-clothesline on Arson. Arson stone-cold stunners Wells. The guy next to me tells me to quit talking, doesn't accept the note taking reason. The ladder is set up for the first time, and Cash & Wells make attempts to climb up for the belt but each of them wants the belt for themselves and the backstabbing has begun. They stop fighting long enough to notice Arson is holding the ladder on the outside and they try to kick it into his face but miss completely. Arson throws someone back in, Cash begs off, Cash pulls Arson facefirst into the post. Cash tries for the belt, Wells with a chair, the guy next to me says "seriously man I'm gonna get violent". He better not have been reading this up to here, but if he is, he's a pathetic XXXX. Wells tries for the belt, Cash shoves him off. I'm REALLY fuming, Cash fetches a table, Arson placed on the table, Cash goes up top to jump on him, is crotched by Wells. Cash bounces the table in the face of Wells. Cash shoves Arson into the ladder. Arson's arm is sandwiched in the ladder, weak chairshot on Wells. Legtrip into a chair, Wells trips both men into the chair. Arson is the first one to bleed tonight, Wells opens that cut up, gets Arson in the tree of woe, sets the ladder in front of his face, Wells gets hit with a chair by Cash, then dropkicks the ladder into Arson's face. Arson bleeding badly now. Cash sets up the ladder, Wells stops him, straddles Cash on the top rope. Fireman's carry by Cash into the ladder on Wells. Cash DDTs Wells. Cash shoves Arson to the outside. Cash climbs up the ladder, frog splashes Wells from the top! Arson back in tries a moonsault on someone but hits his head on the ladder. Cash goes for the pin but you can't win that way! Ladder is picked up and spun around by Arson, now tries for the belt. Arson is shoved off and to the outside. Suplex by Cash on Wells. Pick up drop slam by Cash on Wells. Irish whip Wells, Arson into a bonazi-drop slam. Bodydrop by Wells on Arson. Wells sets up the ladder, climbs, finds he didn't line it up right, ladder is kicked and he goes thru the table on the outside! A stretcher is brought out for Wells as security and the ref carry him out of the arena. Cash wants a time-out, Arson slams Cash. Arson tries another moonsault on Cash and misses again. Arson gets Cash and piledrives him on the chair, but luckily his head doesn't touch the chair. Arson sets up the ladder, climbs up and gets the belt! Ton Arson wins! But wait! Guy Smith jumps in from behind, death valley drivers Arson, then lays the belt on Cash. Ref comes back to see the belt on Cash and declares him the winner. Arrgh....Cash DID NOT win this match! But the ref was AWOL when this went down.

WINNER and new Central IL Champion: Scotty Cash -> (1-0)

Final Round Midwest Heavyweight Championship

Rip Mystic vs. "Alpha Male" Guy Smith w/ Hot Valet Luscious P. Coltrane is the special referee for this match. Rip Mystic comes out with his ribs taped up and had only the length of the ladder match to rest. Smith hasn't had to wrestle a match since the very start of the show. Smith goes right to work on the ribs, pulls off the strap. Irish whip to the corner, low blow on Mystic. Smith suplexes him for two. Smith puts on the abdominal stretch and pulls on the rope for leverage. Ref finally breaks it up. Mystic flips him over, but is still hurting. Irish whip to the corner, sidewalk slam by Mystic. Elbowdrop missed by Male off the top. Spinning backkick by Mystic, Hot Valet on the apron to stop a count. She gets knocked off by her man on a failed charge on Mystic. DVD by Smith. Ref goes outside and seems preoccupied with Valet. Tom Arson comes out, kicks Smith in the face. Mystic climbs to the top rope, Valet trips him, Arson grabs Valet and carries her out of the arena. Superplex by Mystic on Alpha Male, Mystic goes on the top and hits the 450 splash for the three count!

WINNER and new Midwest Heavyweight Champion: Rip Mystic pin -> (3-0)

Well the whiner pretty much stayed away from me in the future, but ho-ho, I was not the only one ever to do an audio taping of the show. So we start out with a legit champ and an ill-legit champ. One does a great job as the champion, the other taints the belt like crazy. Didn't time the matches or rate the matches on this show, and didn't start doing that until the third show or so.