This rap sheet is posted in http://www.newmidwest.com/forum, news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup that many wrestling organizations could utilize to spread info about their shows but don't, and the archive of all the ones I've written are stored in http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet.

I was not in a big rush to finish this edition, mainly because I was busy and this was a long show to write up a couple of these bouts from tape. I had just written up four Rap Sheets in one week, one from the MPW show a week ago, then three streaming video editions where I downloaded a number of Windows Media Files and Real Player video files to watch wrestling bouts. There are a number of places left to look for streaming video for wrestling, and a couple places put a different show up each week. So there will be more to come shortly. Something that happened in a previous month following a show, the common cold was acquired again a day after attending the MPW show. Bleh. At least it wasn’t the SARS virus. For the first time ever, Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine printed the house show results for an NMW show, February's, and I was credited for the submission.

Before finishing up this rap sheet, I was shocked to learn that Miss Elizabeth, the former wife of Randy "Macho Man" Savage has died. What’s disturbing about this is that she was staying in the home of Lex Luger where there was a domestic disturbance during Easter and that the preliminary cause of death is a drug overdose. Lex Luger has been arrested for possession of some illegal drugs in the household and will be spending the night in jail. ANOTHER wrestling personality dies from a drug overdose. SOMETHING has to be done about all these drug deaths here. Lex Luger has had more than one brush with the law of late; he was arrested for DUI and domestic violence.

******THIS SECTION DOES NOT APPEAR IN http://www.newmidwest.com/forum DUE TO INFO RESTRICTIONS******

NMW wrestlers appearing in other feds, "Alpha Male" Guy Smith lost his MPW tag title to a team known as the Lumberjacks. The Honor Roll of Jason Wells & Michael Shard attempted to take the belts back to NMW but didn’t succeed, but as the Rap Sheet for MPW stated, the referee stopped a pin count under questionable circumstances and thus the Honor Rolls should rightfully be the MPW Tag Champs right now. Wells though won a triple threat against Eric Logan and Steven Bishop a couple weeks before at a double-show in Quincy. And Logan won a singles match against a GCW guy. It’s been a pain in the butt to talk about stuff happening in other feds due to a news blackout in lieu of all the stuff yet to air on TV, which apparently has piled up while they’ve been waiting to get a slot and time on a cable channel in the St. Louis area. I of course broke that blackout for at least one taping when I attended the show myself and distributed the results to disprove the notion that spoilers decrease viewership.

******

NMW for the first time ran television ads for this show on cable TV when WWE RAW was on. I’m expecting a packed gym filled with a number of new people who are attending out of curiosity. But I’m also worried about getting there and having nowhere to park nor a seat and then have to request to borrow a tape to do this rap sheet. Once the show started...the building was not full, in fact they tried a different arrangement of the gym. They aligned the ring in a diamond shape inside the gym and actually had room for extra seating if they needed it. So my theory on why the show didn't sell out, NO ONE watches WWE RAW anymore. There you go.

Live from the USA Sports Center, your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne, doubling as commentator with some other guy. Your referees are Tommy the Ref, a.k.a. PT Starbody, James Welden, Chris the Ref, and unknown ref. Wonder when they were taking apps for the commentator positions, I would had applied.

Rip Mystic comes out first, then asks are you ready for this that and the other to occur. Talks about the school and goes through the times of the week training goes on and other sporting events for us "normal" people. Recognizes a couple guys who work the website and other stuff.

Marjorie Watson comes out to do the national anthem, but no music! Calls to just have her SING the national anthem are ignored, then someone shouts "This never happened when Stan was in charge!" that drew a ruckus reaction. Jimmy comes down and says the NMW orchestra isn't here tonight, which prompts her to say someone's getting fired. Well sing the thing instead. NOW the music plays. Witchy introduces "Alpha Male" Guy Smith who then starts whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Witchy rearranges the tournament, because she thinks SOB and Ramsey & Wells will eliminate each other in a draw again. All my predictions go out the window. Darn her! Smith starts running his mouth again, and heap praises upon himself as the "All Female" chant starts. Riding high, blah blah blah, he let himself go, wasn't training...and there's a shoot comment that wasn't supposed to be a shoot comment. So THAT explains the Godfrey debacle, how he lost his tag belt, and his grand reliance on armies! So one person he says pulled him out of a funk, and out comes long lost Misty Matthews. Well she must had a lot to do for Smith inside of a week cause Mr. Bigg wasn't doing squat. Real World Jeremy then comes out. RWJ calls him on his switching of the matches was for helping Dangerous Investment get a bye. What matters is the strap on Smith's shoulder, and knew about Matthews. So he has gotten someone to counter Matthews. Blood's thicker than water or another other fluid, so here comes someone who's name wasn't audiable over the loudspeakers. And he looks exactly like Jeremy! Okay it's Quinten. Real World Jeremy departs with his bro.

MPW Missouri State Champion Christian Haze (1-0) 6’2" 250lbs. Phoenix, AZ & Tony Angel (1-0) 5’11" 165lbs. North County St. Louis, MO (1-0) vs. Dangerous Investment (1-0) Scotty Cash (5-3) 5'9" 170lbs. 'Yo Mommas House' & Danger Doug Frazier...err Fraze (1-1) 6'6" 275lbs. Chicago, IL w/ Guy Smith & Misty Matthews - Tony Angel says he knows their team will win tonight, but that was before they swapped opponents. And Smith once again hangs at ringside, ugh. Haze & Cash start, lockup to the corner, Cash with a slap, this happens again, so Haze goes to slap Cash and he flees. Cash stalls outside, back in, Haze with a knock down, Irish whip, clothesline, hip toss, arm wringer, tag Angel. Punch to the arm, Irish whip, Japanese arm drag, hip toss. Shoulderblock Cash, tag Fraze, he yanks Tony's head on the ropes. Fraze Irish whip, clothesline, slam, tag Cash. A stomp and a cover gets two. Snap suplex gets two. Cash stands on Angel, tag Fraze. Double team clothesline on Angel. Fraze suplexes Angel for two. Fraze wipes his boot in the face of Angel. Fraze Irish whip to the corner, splash misses. Tag Haze who comes in a blaze. Irish whip, swing and a miss, Fraze razes Haze with a spear! Crazed Fraze has his hands raised giving himself praise while Haze is dazed and the crowd is less than amazed. Tag Cash who puts a laze cover on Haze twice but gets two. Slam and kicks from Cash. Cash shoves Starbody into Tony Angel so he can’t gaze at him choking Haze, cover for two. A woman claims Cash is just as cocky and obnoxious as he is in real life, I dunno maybe. Running elbow drop from Cash gets two. Tag Doug, slam, leg drop gets two. Side slam from Doug gets two. Kick and tag to Cash. Top rope elbow gets two for Cash. Irish whip to the corner and Cash with a tackle. Cash grazes Haze with chops, but Haze flips him around and gives him some hard chops. LOW BLOW CASH. Oh boy here we go again, start the counter! Fraze pulls down on Haze's head against the turnbuckle, Cash covers for two. Unfazed, Cash phases Fraze into the malaise holding Haze so Fraze can land a punch to the side of Haze, getting a two count. Since when is a match winnable with a punch to the side of the body? Irish whip, but Fraze is caught by Haze and gets Samoan dropped. Cash jumps on the top rope but gets caught and gets his leg hooked for a northern lights suplex. Both men tag out. Angel clotheslines both men, drop kicks, DDT on Cash. Angel to the top rope, Guy Smith decides to grab a chair and blast him across the back, knocking him off. Powerbomb Fraze on Angel, Haze chases Smith but gets hit with a chair as well, Cash covers for three. Arrrgh. All Female can't mind his own business! Tony Angel is probably going to get after Smith down in MPW now, Haze already skirmishing with Smith.

WINNERS: Dangerous Investment pin -> (2-0) 12:50 mins. ***

Sage Ramsey (5-2) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL & Jason Wells (2-4) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO (1-0-2) vs. Sigma Omega Beta (2-0-2) Carbondale, IL - "Big Man on Campus" Garret Ryan (1-0) 6'2" 232lbs. & "Toga" Steve Fisher (1-2) 5'10" 240lbs. w/ Prof. Philip H. Dempsey - No disqualification rule is in effect, so anything goes, no count outs. PHD comes out with his men holding a mug, and looking like a bit of a mess. PHD talks about having his beer. The Salukis are mad that PHD didn't know Witchy did swapping the brackets and making them fight Ramsey & Wells first and he doesn't drink beer properly. PHD wishes them luck and heads to the back. Ramsey & Wells come out to get in his way, Wells says he charged Sage for the new belts that were made for Michael Shard. PHD begs for mercy, then hand him what they call the "Fat Man" title, a strap with twinkies and waffles glued on. They charge the ring and the brawl begins! Sage is tossed out, Toga suicide dives on top of him. Ryans and Wells go at it, Ryan with a suicide flip on Sage. Wells goes on top and suicide dives on all three of them. Oh this will be too hard to follow, to the audio tape...Sage is rammed into the camera stand. Wells is beating Toga with a chair. Ryan hits Wells with the chair. Sage in to break it up. Toga with a chair, rolls over Sage. Wells DDTs Toga on the floor. Ryan slugging Sage in the corner. Clothesline Wells on Toga. Wells slams Ryan on the stairs. Suplex Sage on Toga. Headbutt Sage. Shot to the gut on Ryan on a botched leapfrog. Ryan suplex Wells for two, broken up. Sage slams Ryan on the turnbuckle. Spear Wells on Toga, gets two. Ryan outside, Wells follows. Punch Sage on Toga. Wells whacked Ryan with the frat plank, Ryan throws a trash can, chairs. Sage with a legdrop on Toga for two. Sage motions, chokeslam attempt but ANOTHER LOW BLOW. Wells back in the ring, after Toga. Wells threw a chair that strikes during a suplex move. Wells is covered on someone but foot on the ropes. Ryan back in, Wells covered again, Sage broke it up. Ryan and Wells in the corner fighting. Toga slams Sage outside. Powerbomb Wells on Ryan. Toga stomps away outside. Steve with another chair, cover Wells gets two. Flat piece of metal, whack on Wells. Double elbow by the frats on Wells gets two. Toga with a trash can, gets it, Ryan whacks Sage with a chair. Suicide dive by Wells. So messy to call on tape. Slam outside, Sage kicks the can at someone. Toga whacks Wells with a chair. Ramsey and Ryan in the ring, Wells DDTs Toga outside. ANOTHER LOW BLOW by Ryan, and it's legal. Toga with the can, Wells blocks. Irish whip, Ryan spinebuster Wells. Sage knocks him out, Toga in. Double axe on Sage. Moonsault by Ryan misses. Wells picks up Ryan, death valley driver gets three! Toga Steve with a chair to the back of Wells, drives the chair into his knee. Here comes the table. Ramsey on the floor, chairshot to the gut on Wells. Table in the ring, lay Wells on the table, Sage to break it up. Sage goes for the powerbomb, Ryan goes thru the table. Polite applause for all four men for the battle just witnessed. Help had to come out to get everyone out to the back, Wells has a couple hours to recover the injury on the knee.

WINNERS: Sage Ramsey & Jason Wells pin -> (2-0-2) 9:30 mins. ***

Jimmy talks about the school and various info about the website. Announces the date for the next show May 31st, Capitol Punishment.

Dredd Walker (5-4-1) 5'11" 210lbs. "Purgatory" vs. Bing Westlake (2-3) 5"10" 165lbs. London, England - And this is our last minute addition to the card. Dredd has a completely new hairdo. Bing has a couple fans rooting for him and they are wearing his t-shirts. Lockup, arm drag Dredd, arm bar, but Bing monkey flips Dredd off. Hip toss Dredd, trip gets a one count. Head lock takedown Bing. Dredd up shove off, three shoulderblocks by Dredd. Rake of the eyes and shoulderblock Bing. Irish whip Bing, reversed, two clotheslines from Dredd. Back body drop, drop kick, Bing flees. Dredd with a suicide dive. Bing gets posted. Bing is bounced on the apron then the rail, then the floor. Head slam on the apron by Dredd, toss in, three covers get two each. Irish whip, clothesline, Dredd misses a punch. Bing yanks Dredd down on the rope. Bing catapult crossbody attempt misses. Rollup by Dredd gets two. Dredd Irish whip, toss up, Bing hits the Fameasser six feet in the air! Bing with the missile dropkick gets a two count. Bing on top for a double axehandle meets a punch. Another fameasser misses, small package Dredd gets three. Bing fetches a golf club and clocks Dredd in the head the gutless loser.

WINNER: Dredd Walker pin -> (6-4-1) 8 mins. ***

Michael Shard (4-6) 5'8" 160 lbs. Santa Monica, CA vs. Overthrown President Stan Sallinger (0-1) 6'3", 260lbs. Springfield, IL vs. Eric Logan (2-4) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL vs. "Rather Charming" Bradley Stephens 6'0" 225lbs. Las Vegas, NV (debut) vs. "The Iron Chef" Leo…err…Adam Deacon (2-3) 6’0" 240lbs. Kincaid, IL w/ RON vs. Lucious P. Cotrane (1-1) 5’10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious" - I conducted a poll for fans to vote on whether this should be one fall or elimination of the weakest link, the latter won easily 78/22 and ELIMINATION RULES are in effect. Adam Deacon has his head shaved off except for a big letter R with what hair he has left. That and he’s finally pretending to be someone else other than members of the Right to Censor, and he is imitating ECW’s Angry Amish Roadkill! Michael Shard and Eric Logan start the match. Lockup, shove Shard, roll around, suplex Shard, arm bar Logan, arm wringer Shard, trip Logan, rollup for two, backslide from Logan gets two, crucifix gets two, they break. Arm bar, take down Shard. Head lock takedown again. Shove off, shoulder block by Shard, another charge, leap frog Logan, a tradeoff of arm drags. Drop kick is swatted by Shard, tag Brad. Double axe handle on Logan. Suplex from Brad gets one. Slam Brad, hits an elbow from the 2nd rope. Irish whip, spin kick misses, sit down on a sunset flip attempt misses, clothesline Logan. Tag Stan, Logan with another clothesline before leaving. Test of strength but Stan punches away, Irish whip and three successive clotheslines from Stan. Brad tags out to LPC. Punch LPC, two leg drops gets a two count. Blind tag from Deacon, LPC with the fisherman’s suplex but Deacon interrupts the cover. Suplex, choke, chop, suplex, choke, slam, leg drop gets two for Deacon. Irish whip, LPC does the Thesz press and punches out Deacon. Tag Logan. The chef hits a belly to back suplex, rams Logan into the turnbuckle, three chops, snap mare, rear chinlock Chef. Chef with a sloppy belly to belly suplex. Crossbody Logan gets two. Irish whip, spinning heel kick by Logan. Deacon tags Stan. They don’t want to fight, so they lock up, and Stan swings Logan in the air holding the collar-n-elbow tie up. Arm twist as Stephens & Deacon heckle them. Double tag, Stephens & Deacon have to fight each other now. Stephens talks about Deacon’s hairdo and this draws EVERYONE in. Stan and LPC go over the top rope tosses by Deacon and Stephens. Shard and Logan and thrown over the top, but they hang on. They headscissors flip them both out, back in, they high five, then rock-paper-scissors decide who first to dive. Michael goes first, almost misses, Deacon stands up. Logan next, hops on the ref and suicide dives onto the pile. Fight outside, Shard and Deacon paired off. Full nelson Stan on Stephens, Stephens drives Stan into the turnbuckle. Slam in the ring, Stephens pins Stan with both feet on the ropes, Logan can't break it up. Stan's out. I wanted to shout "YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK GOODBYE" when someone got beat but the eliminations went so fast there wasn't time to do it. Guess I'll have to do it here.

Stan Sallinger, YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK...GOODBYE! Stan is now (0-2), Brad is (1-0) at 13:45 mins.

LPC just hit the rail. Logan in, Frankensteiner on Stephens. High crossbody, rollover, Stephens pins Eric Logan with a big handful of tights. Ugh, that only took 30 seconds for a second elimination.

Eric Logan, YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK...GOODBYE! Logan is now (2-5), Brad is (2-0) at 14:15 mins.

Shard in, flatliner on Stephens gets three and that took 15 seconds.

Bradley Stephens, YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK...GOODBYE! Stephens is now (2-1), Shard is (5-6) at 14:30 mins.

LPC in, flatliner blocked, KICK WHAM STUNNER. LPC pins Shard. Man, are these guys careless to get beat so fast?

Michael Shard, YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK...GOODBYE! Shard is now (5-7), LPC is (2-1) at 14:50 mins.

Steven Bishop is out here, RON on the apron. Boston Crab applied on Deacon, but Kidd powders LPC. Adam Deacon rolls up LPC and wins it. Arrgh. No way! Adam Deacon is tonight's STRONGEST link and he goes home with the #1 contenders match next month. LPC, you leave in a world of hurt. But before LPC can take the walk of shame, the whole cult kicks away at LPC. KICK WHAM STUNNER Khaos Kidd. RON throws a hissy-fit temper tantrum over LPC turning on him last month that I don't care to recount. Then he has the gall to mock God, who won't stop pedophiles and brands us Christians as such (stupid Christaphobe! The Catholic church DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL CHRISTIANS YOU MORON!!!) RON demands we all admit he's the master. He asks God if he exists to zap him, which draws out Rip Mystic. Mystic creams the cult giving Deacon a superkick, DDT on Kidd nearly botched the match. KICK WHAM STUNNER on Kidd. LPC with an angry kick on someone. Steven Bishop is flat on his back in the middle of the ring as El Diablo Silverado comes out. The entryway just came apart.

WINNER: Adam Deacon pin -> (3-3) 14:50 mins. ****

(c)El Diablo Silverado (6-3) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL vs. Don't call me "The Khaos Kidd" no more Steven Bishop (2-4) 5'7" 200lbs. w/ moRON - Bishop hasn’t won a match in MPW since joining up with RON, mainly cause RON doesn’t second his man over there like he does in NMW and thus can’t pass him the brick. EDS just looks at the guy but doesn’t even think of just pinning him on the spot and making it a quick one. That’s a mistake in my book. EDS helps him up on his feet, but flops back down when EDS goes for a clothesline. NOW he covers him but gets only two. You waited too long EDS. The chef tries to interfere but the ref for the FIRST TIME EVER ejects Adam Deacon. But he lets RON stay, arrgh. Lockup, Kidd punches again in the corner, Irish whip, EDS with a flying head scissors, hip toss, drop kick gets a two count. EDS Irish whip, flying headscissors, hurraconranna gets two. Sunset flip by EDS gets two. Kidd with a side slam gets two. Suplex Kidd. Irish whip, flying crossbody EDS. Irish whip, hip toss Kidd. Kidd goes to the second rope, but EDS meets up with him and hurraconrannas him off and goes for the cover…but wacko cult leader RON is up on the apron. ANOTHER LOW BLOW, and a Russian leg sweep by Kidd. Wow, that’s only the second one used tonight? Irish whip, powerslam Kidd gets two. Kidd decides to do a one foot cover, but that gets two. Powerbomb attempted, but EDS escapes and slams him. Splash off the top rope, RON gets on the apron to thwart a cover. EDS goes after RON, Kidd goes after EDS but hits RON. EDS tries something but is blocked. Whoops, Kidd hits the swinging side slam seventh day. The book is in the ring again, windup, miss, EDS kicks Kidd, grabs the book and blasts him with it. Gets rid of RON and gets the three count. Almost ended in disaster for not collecting the cover at the start.

WINNER: El Diablo Silverado pin -> (7-3) 7:30 mins. **½

"The Underachiever" Billy Grissom…uh…Morgan (1-3) 5’10" 172lbs. Riverton, IL w/ Kev G & Cherry Malone vs. "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (2-5) 5'10" 170lbs., Rushville, IL - Billy decided to change his name because he wanted to fight under hardcore rules in regular matches and didn’t like Earl preventing him from getting DQ’ed. Earl gives the hat to a fan. Billy’s two managers give him a massage. Clothesline Earl. Irish whip, kick, spinning neckbreaker. Bailout, Earl follows, Kev gets in the way and is clotheslined. Billy hits Earl and kicks away outside. Billy throws Earl into the post, tosses a chair in the ring. Back in, Billy kicks down Earl in the ring, puts the chair between the ropes in the corner. Irish whip, reversed, Billy hits the chair. Uppercut Earl, slam, ties up the leg and yanks on it. ANOTHER LOW BLOW by Billy. Ah, that’s three. Elbow drop and leg drop gets two for Billy. Earl headbutts Billy three times in a row. Irish whip, clothesline misses, superkick Billy. Billy chokes Earl on the ropes, then Kev takes over. Morgan with a two count. Irish whip, block, spinning leg neckbreaker by Earl. Earl goes on the top rope, and a member of security comes out of nowhere and shoves him off for the DQ. What the heck was that??? Way to go Billy, way to show us all how much of an overachiever you are. You'd be in the top five instead of Earl right now if not for this debacle. Now you’re one and four ya LOSER!!! Powerslam on Earl by guard. Three on one attack. They hold Earl up for Cherry to slap him. Another guard argues with the turncoat.

WINNER: "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom DQ -> (3-5) 6:20 mins. **

(c)"The Barry Bonds of Wrestling, MPW Heavy Hitter, NMW Alpha Male, Fans All Female" Guy Smith (8-4) w/ Misty Matthews vs. Real World Jeremy (5-2-1) 6'2" 240lbs. Denver, CO w/ New World Quinten - Okay, Quinten doesn’t call himself New World, but would be a fitting gimmick to use. This is his first appearance of any kind since his battle royal debut last year where he looked nothing like Real World. One wonders if Smith has become too reliant on armies to win singles matches after the last NMW show and the grand Godfrey debacle. Lockup, break. Smith argues with the fans. Lockup shove RWJ. Corner, Irish whip, reverse, elbow RWJ. Smith challenges for a test of strength, RWJ teases Smith, once they tie up, Smith slams RWJ. RWJ slams Smith, then another, and another, as the audience counts them up to seven. Smith bails out and stalls. NWQ comes over but Misty blocks him and tries putting on the charm. We’re at the six minute mark as the stalling continues. Kick Smith. Powerslam RWJ, Misty up on the apron and NWQ pulls her off. Irish whip, Russian leg sweep RWJ. RWJ ties his legs around Smith’s head. RWJ goes for the pumphandle, a block, sleeper hold locked in by Guy. Ram to the corner, sleeper reapplied, ram to the corner, Guy won’t let go. RWJ gets out, but Smith locks it in again, check of the arm, he gets out at two. RWJ goes for a suplex, blocked and into the sleeper. Guy is tossed away, ANOTHER DARN SLEEPER HOLD! RWJ with a face bomb, punch, Irish whip, monster spinebuster gets two cause Misty yanks the referee out of the ring. Misty in and jumps on RWJ, he throws her off, the ref’s in holding his head and stops it. ARRGH! DARN IT! Yep Smith is rapidly deteriorating as a wrester as the downward slide continues and will have to contend with RWJ again cause he has just taken possession of the #1 contender’s spot from Sage Ramsey. Match was the worst of the night. Misty’s in the corner, RWJ wants to wail on her, but NWQ stops him, they argue about it but eventually hug.

WINNER: Real World Jeremy DQ -> (6-2-1) 12:20 mins. *½

Jimmy announces free pizza after the show among thanking the sponsors.

Rip Mystic (8-4) vs. Tom Arson (1-6) - The first man to bleed is the loser. Arson needs a win badly here or else it proves that he's got some sort of Springfield Curse on him. Arson comes out wearing a shirt that promotes the Midget Toss Championship. Now he just insulted all little people everywhere. Arson gets on his knees to mock Mystic’s height, Rip slaps him, pulls the shirt off, and throws Arson outside. Rip puts the shirt on and crawls on his knees then throws the shirt out in the crowd. Slugfest on the mat, Tom knees Rip, rams his head on the turnbuckle, punch, Irish whip to the corner, clothesline. Tom kicks away, suplex, slam, but misses an elbow from the 2nd rope. Chair in the ring, chairshot blocked, fight goes outside, Tom gets thrown into the stairs. Rip rams Arson on the apron, tosses him in. Here comes the metal trashcan, Rip clocks him with it. Suplex Rip. Here comes the big BUMP sign, which is autographed by Tom Arson on the back. Rip slams Arson on the sign. Arson hits Rip with it. Here comes the kendo stick. Swing and a miss by Tom, Rip with a choke then whacks him twice sending Tom sprawling out. Rip goes looking under the ring and pulls out with a war cry…a bag of Doritos! Making due with it, Rip blasts Tom with the bag and chips fly everywhere. Tom regains the advantage and tosses Rip in then pulls out a bowling ball! Tom misses a swing, Rip Irish whip, somersault handspring elbow. Rip with the ball, Tom sitting with his legs spread, you guessed it, Rip rolls it into the nether regions of Arson. Tom goes out, Rip follows, throws him back in, fetches a ladder. Slam attempt, reversed, Arson is slammed on top of the ladder. Rip to the top rope, dive splash on Arson. Ladder set up in the corner, Irish whip Arson crashes and goes flying over the top rope to the floor. Rip suplexes Tom back in, Arson with a boomerang sends Rip into the ladder. Ladder is placed with Rip on top, Arson to the top rope, moonsault, Rip moved, Arson gets all ladder. Superkick Mystic. Arson with a back body drop. Liberty Spike by Arson (that’s a one-armed spike piledriver for those in Chatham)! He fetches a chair, lies in wait, it’s another LOW BLOW by Rip. Though this time is LEGAL. Irish whip to the corner, chair set up, Rip with a flying side kick off the chair. Tom with ANOTHER LOW BLOW, legal in a hardcore match, Tom with a face slam into the chair and that cuts his head to end it.

WINNER: Tom Arson KO -> (2-6) 17:40 mins. ***½

Mystic is up and continues fighting, hits an impaler DDT. Now they’re outside, Rip sets up a table. Has trouble with it, Arson got away. Here comes Khaos Kidd! He powerbombs Rip through the table! Here comes the cult. Mystic is mauled by these guys, and Bishop does the spin-around side slam 7th Day. Crippler crossface and the sharpshooter both applied at the same time on Mystic. Where was LPC? The cult members act all proud of themselves. Anyway, Arson narrowly avoids getting his seventh loss. Medical team out with a board, but he manages to walk out with help instead.

Sage Ramsey (5-2) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL & Jason Wells (2-4) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO (2-0-2) vs. Dangerous Investment (2-0) Scotty Cash (5-3) 5'9" 170lbs. 'Yo Mommas House' & Danger Doug Frazier...err Fraze (1-1) 6'6" 275lbs. Chicago, IL - It’s the last match of the show and I’m tired of writing, to the audio tape we go…an unknown song plays, and I'm thinking the wrong team is coming out, but it is DI. The new tag belts are on display. Oh Cash is talking. Shut up everyone or I'll whoop ya. Honor us by standing up and clapping when our music starts playing. I stand up all right, but showing my back to them, and nearly mooning them. Calls everyone who didn't stand up idiots. Does it again, but wrong music. Sage Ramsey comes out, alone. Two and a half hours apparently isn't enough rest time. Cash asks where his ugly partner is, oh he's injured that's fine. Someone says he'll be his partner. Charge, double clothesline Sage. Kicks to both men, Cash is clotheslined out, Fraze clotheslined. Slam Sage, legdrop gets two. Music plays, is Wells coming? Nope. Bell hasn't rung either, so starting the clock now. Irish whip, clothesline Cash gets two. Tag Fraze. Punches away in the corner. Shoveoff, big boot, Irish whip clothesline Fraze. Fraze slam gets two. Tag Cash. Kids are looking through the open door for Wells to sneak in from another entrance or something. Double axehandle to the head, gets two. Cash runs and tramples Sage, legdrop gets two. Elbowdrops gets two. Fraze chokes Sage. Another covers gets two. Irish whip to the corner, a Sage fan girl is screaming her head off, Cash has a chain. Wind-up, wham, Cash covers and gets only two. Another cover gets two. Elbowpad thrown at Cash, oops Cash broke his chain. Big splash off the top, gets two for Cash. Fraze has him up for a big slam. Cash on top, another splash. Where's the tag? Another kickout at two. Cash is shoving Starbody around, get DQ'ed already! Chokehold on Sage. Heckling by the fans. Double team suplex only gets two. Another choke for he's worth. Boot to the face. Pickup Irish whip Fraze tries picking him up for a side slam but can't hold him and just crashes with him to the mat and gets two out of it. Choke on the ropes. This is a massacre. Cash in without a tag, powerbomb Fraze. Music plays again, cover, Sage barely gets a shoulder up at two. Wells is out, and they throw Sage at him to tag in. Well that's smart, had the titles to win and you just wanna beat on someone some more. Tag Wells, clotheslines, hip tosses, spinebuster. Wells favoring the knee. Cash spinebusters Wells. Cash mocks the crowd with a tag tag tag. Cash kicks at the knee. Harasses the ref some more. Cash mocks with a Wells Wells Wells. Tag Fraze. Sage is struggling to get back on the apron. Stomp away on the knee. Side slam Fraze, gets two. Fraze slams the knee on the mat. Talk about how cocky Cash is outside the ring. Firearms carry slam by Fraze. Tag Cash. Sage is still down. Cash rams Wells into the corner. Cash kicks away at the knee. Hard kick. Irish whip, Wells falls down. Tag Fraze, walks on the knee. Ramsey chant. Doug applies the Figure Four! Cash runs around and takes Sage out. Wells is counted at two. Wells turns it over. Cash yanks Starbody out of the ring, that should be an automatic DQ for consistency! Cash breaks up the Figure Four. Starbody DOESN'T DQ DI. Another cover, two count. Cash knocks Sage off again. Fourteen minutes elapsed so far. Another mock chant by Cash, cover for two again. Another move on the mat gets two. Ramsey up on the apron finally, on one knee. Irish whip, a double clothesline knocks both men out. Cash is closest to the corner. Tag Fraze, knocks Sage off again. Get some rage in Sage. Elbowdrop gets two. More work on the knee, Wells has been in for eight minutes straight. Fraze vices the knee. Tag Cash. Choke and a slap. Boston Crab Cash but he can't hold the weight. Tries again, he's too heavy for him. In the corner, Wells hits some of a move on Cash. Belly to back side suplex Wells. Wells FINALLY makes a tag, tag Fraze, Cash with ANOTHER LOW BLOW. Arrgh. That's eight of them for the night in total. Fraze gets back body dropped on a powerbomb attempt. Sage tags Wells back in. Wells on the top rope, moonsault on Fraze gets two as Cash breaks it up. Man, how could he stand up there to do that with the knee damage? Fireman's carry slam by Wells. Sage is back in, double chokeslam on Cash, double cover gets three! Well Dangerous Investment dominate almost all this match and can't put anyone away or won't put anyone away.

WINNERS and NEW CHAMPS: Sage Ramsey & Jason Wells pin -> (3-0-2) 20 mins. ****½

It's gonna be a long five weeks before the next show and only one match so far is a lock that being the CI Title match of El Diablo Silverado vs. Adam Deacon. Still badly need that intermission in the middle of the show if it’s gonna run three straight hours, we all need a break to walk around and stuff without having to miss anything. And it was very hot in the building but was close enough to a side door to let in some cold air. Another great show this month, a couple hitting the four star level. Still have to figure out a way to attract more bodies to the show, and I'm thinking State Fair attraction. Until next time, this is the Crimefighter saying bustin' ain't easy, school is dumb, and censorship is a load of crap!