This rap sheet is posted in http://www.newmidwest.com/forum, news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup that many wrestling organizations could utilize to spread info about their shows but don't, and the archive of all the ones I've written are stored in http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet.

Pro Wrestling Illustrated has been printing the results of some previous NMW shows that I've submitted. PWI for their part has a policy of chopping out the names of the managers and referring to titles generically in an effort to save print space.

Last time you all were with us watching New Midwest Wrestling, we saw the number one contendership for the Central IL title go to one Adam Deacon of the wacko cult organization known as the Church of RON. For one reason or another, there was some blowup at the training school and Adam Deacon has pulled up his tent and left town. The Crimefighter who is no fan of the cult tried his best to find out what really happened, and now I have a bit of an idea. I still laugh at wacko cult leader RON for losing a member, his title shot, and his tag team that were the #1 contenders for the tag titles. So Adam Deacon, formerly known as "The Iron Chef" Leo Lagossi and apparently "Sorrow" during the unincorporated MWA days, finishes his NMW run at 3-3 with his final match being a win from the Sinister Six match beating Lucious P. Cotrain (cheating of course), and his tag record with "The Khaos Kidd" at 2-0. Before leaving NMW though, Deacon and Bishop beat the crap out of Rip Mystic following his loss to Tom Arson and in the process, tore his bicep and herniated a disc in his lower spine putting him on the disabled list for 45 days.

Also seen last month, "The Alpha Male" Guy Smith interferes in the second round of the NMW tag team tournament for the men he was representing, those being Scotty Cash & Doug Fraze against Christian Haze & Tony Angel. Smith blasted Angel across the back with a chair on the top rope as he was about to do a dive on Fraze costing them the match. Just last weekend in Owensville, MO was a pair of MPW shows at a resort that were only open to timeshare residents. Christian Haze successfully defended his MPW Missouri title against Smith, but as crappy as Bigg Boyz International has been the last couple months, Smith runs interference in another match involving his partner Damian Blade and Haze tries to stop it but messes up and causes The Searcher to lose against Blade. The next day, Tony Angel takes his turn trying to get revenge against Guy Smith for interfering in the tag title tournament, but ended up losing. Meanwhile Christian Haze defends his Missouri title against Damian Blade and is defeated for the belt with a lot of help from who else, the BBI and Guy Smith. So nothing is resolved here, and further spillover of feuds from the St. Louis area is expected. There’s A LOT of whining and moaning going on about me bringing up this stuff from MPW in the NMW forum involving the same wrestlers. It seems a few people insist that feud carryover between promotions means absolutely nothing, I beg to differ. These same people also INSIST that Guy Smith DID NOT screw Haze & Angel when he interfered for the benefit of his chosen team causing them to lose. With THAT logic, a criminal can break into their house, steal some cash, claim that he was taking the money to pay off some debt of his and wasn’t out to steal the cash, and these guys would have to let him off to be consistent with their stupidity.

Over the past month, the Crimefighter for the first time served in a role that was outside his moniker. I was picked to serve as a juror for a medical malpractice civil case. First day was jury selection, where they ask you in a group, where you worked before, if you knew any of the participants in the case, if you knew any of the other jurors, have you had any injuries and have you had any bad experiences with a doctor. Do you respect the right of the plaintiff to sue and the defendant’s right to defend themselves and will any of this prejudice you in deciding the cases. Actually saw one member of the pool go into a partial meltdown as he didn’t seem to have any confidence in himself on whether he would decide a case fairly like he was a fish out of water. The lawyers thankfully passed over him so he wouldn’t have to endure the pressure. The case itself was a man who sued the doctor over post-surgery care of his foot where his Achilles tendon was reattached after it snapped off his heel. About two, three weeks into the healing process the patient was taking his pain pills but did not report the problems he was having, which were that the pain was not lessening over time and the foot started to itch. He claimed he should had been asked to come in by the doctor to look at his foot but for some reason only the patient knows he never thought of going to the emergency room when his cast became soiled, started falling apart, smelling badly, itching worse and worse, and aching more and more. He let this go on during an 11 day span between the last contact with the doctor and the next scheduled contact where he finally got into the office and the doctor was horribly shocked at the condition of his foot which now had a deep infection. The patient ended up being hospitalized and came very close to losing his foot entirely. He can’t walk for very long now, and has to walk with a limp and a brace on the foot. It became quite an easy case for me to decide after only hearing the plaintiff’s side cause common sense tells you if you’ve got all these problems with a cast you are supposed to go to the ER right away and not put it off. The plaintiff thought he had a case based on a claim that he was taking too many pain meds, there was turnover of nurses, and they thought he heard the doctor say he lost control of his practice when he really lost his emotions. Even if all that was true, the case was lost when it was proven that he was not being proactive in taking care of himself. When you got problems, it is best to be verbose with your descriptions and not be terse cause you’ll save yourself a lot of problems.

It would had fit my moniker better to judge a criminal case, but that’s the way it goes. It is said that many people do not like to sit on juries, but in my case I enjoyed the experience and would readily serve again if called.

********** THIS SECTION DOES NOT APPEAR IN www.newmidwest.com/forum DUE TO INFO RESTRICTIONS ***********

This month I was surprised to see advertisements for something that I thought was a dead issue, Capitol City Championship Wrestling. 3CW sometime early last year was making some hay on NMW's message board with an ill-advised ad for the place. Well some bashing went on, and someone had the gall to steal my identity and post notes as me with some very nasty comments. It got so bad that someone over there mailed me personally thinking I was the one doing it. EVERY time someone tries to impersonate me, they use the SAME host, months apart, they still use the SAME host. Now that this mess has reared its head again, and now that I have a proper venue to make comments more freely, here's what's really going down. About a month ago, began seeing TV ads during WWE RAW featuring ex-WQLZ morning personality "Marvin" who if you don't know him, was a part of the Lytle and Lamb show airing in Peoria and Springfield that features occasional interviews with wrestlers. The guy wears of all things, PEACOCK feathers! These were ads for that training school 3CW with the phone number and during the ad we see some really out of shape men wrestle, performing wrestling moves, very sloppily. The ad was so retarded I was gagging repeatedly. I don't know how a typical wrestling school does their TV ads looking for recruits, but this one was an ad on how NOT to do it. On whether there should be more than one company, my opinion is that Springfield, IL cannot support two wrestling companies and make money. Springfield as it is, is a small market of 115K. Besides that, there seems to be an indy group in every city in the country, but not enough wrestling fans to go around. With all these indy groups, it's a wonder why there is only one major wrestling promotion left in this country. Hopefully NWA-TNA will make it two. Back to Springfield, we already have a bit of a talent raid as you know who mentioned earlier thought the pastures were greener over there than here as a trainer, along with some trainees. Apparently there won't be anyone performing with both promotions right now, as an offer to do just that was turned down for some obvious reasons. Being a REAL conservative, I believe in the concept of competition, so if someone wants to start their own business, have at it. I think though that this venture was ill advised in the face of the wrestling industry shrinking in terms of interest among spectators. I'm clueless as to how many active wrestlers there are in the business, but it's certainly a number over 10,000 in the US alone, as for promotions, dunno how many of those there are, I think about 300-400. A good chunk of that number has attendance UNDER 100 per show, which makes me wonder how they stay in business. If you can't pack the house with enough people, it's time to do a merger with another nearby group. We'll see how this goes, and I will be commenting on this materialized rivalry. I haven't found this 3CW site online yet, but whenever they actually have a show I'm going to attend and see WHAT these guys have to offer. Hopefully they won't make the mistake of holding shows the same day and hour as NMW and force people to choose. Oops, I just heard they made that mistake and they claim it's an accident. I talked to a number of people about this mess, and I did find now just plain Adam in attendance to do the obligatory "you sold out" chant, then made my feelings known about the whole thing. Let's hope they all train properly.

********** END OF EXTRA SECTION **********

Your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne. Your commentary team is Rick Wieties, and two others guys I can't remember the names of.

"The UNDER Achiever" Billy Morgan (1-4) 5’10" 172lbs. Riverton, IL w/ Kev G, Cherry Malone & Formerly Nameless Ex-Security Guard JJ Tank vs. Dredd Walker (6-4-1) 5'11" 210lbs. "Purgatory" - I dunno HOW Morgan got a #1 contenders match when there's several people in front of him that ARE in contention. He got himself DQ'ed last time against his cousin Earl when a security guard decided to shove him off the top rope. Morgan seems more interested in building an army than winning a match, as he continues to sink lower and lower in the standings. JJ Tank is the previously unknown security guard but all along well-known forum personality, name never announced. Dredd comes out, jaws with Tank, then a spat with Malone. Lockup, arm wringer Dredd, reversed, Dredd with a takedown. Kip up Billy. Headlock Billy, reversed into a hammerlock, takedown headlock Dredd. Shove off, a sloppy hip toss by Dredd, Kev G grabs at his legs. Irish whip, clothesline Billy gets two. Dredd with a back body drop over the top rope, JJ Tank eats a baseball slide intended for Billy, Dredd suicide dives on Billy. Reverse elbow Dredd, kicks in the corner, Irish whip Billy rollups up Dredd for two. Slug away Billy, whip and flying headscissors to the outside. Billy leaps on the top rope for the springboard, slips, and nearly lands on his head on the floor. Dredd gets back in, Billy does the same move back in the ring and slips AGAIN but still catches some of a clothesline. Billy does the move a THIRD time, doesn't slip but is caught for a powerslam and a two count. Irish whip to the corner and Billy defends with a boot. Tornado DDT attempt is blocked, Dredd hits an inverted atomic drop, then a drop kick from the top rope. Chops from Dredd, Irish whip Dredd eats a boot. Billy to the top, jumps off with nothing in mind, gets stuck in the crossface. Malone jumps on the apron, JJ Tank jumps in the ring but gets powerbombed, Kev G jumps in the ring up Dredd kicks him out, now Bing Westlake runs in and hits Dredd in the gut with the golf club. The idiot ref kept all his attention on Malone through all this, hey can't you just position yourself to jaw with Malone and take peeks at the ring action at the SAME TIME? Rollup Billy and we get a very hollow victory for someone who's still green as heck and can't win without an army.

WINNER: Billy Morgan pin -> (2-4) 8:25 mins. **

Jimmy Osbourne promotes the wrestling school during the break.

"The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (3-5) 5'10" 170lbs., Rushville, IL vs. "Rather Charming" Bradley Stephens 6'0" 225lbs. Las Vegas, NV (2-1) - Stephens picked up two falls last month in the sinister six match before being pinned himself, thus his 2-1 record despite only one singles match thus far. Earl dances Stephens out of the ring. Takedown Stephens, hip toss, drop kick. Earl with a headlock takedown, hip toss and drop kick. Brad bails. Earl chases him back in the ring, Brad misses a clothesline, Earl hits out, Brad out again. Earl slingshots Brad back in, clothesline gets two. Another one gets two. Irish whip, reverse, Earl misses the clothesline and gets yanked down by the hair. Brad chokes with the knee, slam Brad, another choke with the knee. Brad leans Earl back, drops him across his knee. Brad with an Irish whip and clothesline in the corner. Another Irish whip and Earl gets the knees up, spinning neckbreaker, Earl goes to work on the leg, puts on a leg lock, drops back twice. Elbow to the knee, Irish whip reversed, enzergeri by Brad. Brad with a legdrop gets two. Brad's limping around. Earl trips him, kicks at the knee, clubs him in the corner. Irish whip reversed and a weak clothesline from Brad. Choke by Brad in the corner, Earl with a clip on the leg, another leglock, not a figure four, but wrapped both legs around his knee and was yanking on it...finally Brad just quits.

WINNER: "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom submission -> (4-5) 7:45 mins. **

Jimmy promotes the sponsors as well as a radio show on WQNA 88.3FM The Edge from 9pm-12am where you could talk with your favorite wrestlers. The Edge is an all-student run station at Lincoln Land Community College south of town. Well, here's a quick review of the show itself. It was Justin Byerline hosting the show "Undercurrent" along with Jason Wells, and Mr. Prose. Jessica Gasperini who is the regular co-host during this three-hour block was out recovering from surgery. Besides all the music played by requests, Jason Wells talked about how great the show was, a few things about the show itself, and how people needed to go to Revolution next month. Wells was trying to convince Mr. Prose and Justin to train to be a wrestler. Later someone decided to play Elvis, and Wells got into a spat with him about how much he was eating in the studio and wanted to fight him outside. Alas, I tried to call into the show thinking there was listener participation, but of all things, Justin DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO RUN THE FREAKIN' CONTROLS! Way late in the show they tried fiddling with the thing to get callers on air WHILE on air, but ran out of time. Well I hope they get better organized next week, cause they all seemed like fish out of water. There's a big question though of where they'll get a time slot and if Jessica will be returning next week, if not it's from 9-midnight next Sunday. Anyway, this is a 250-watt station so the signal doesn't go very far, but if you want to listen, you can get it on streaming audio at http://www.wqna.org using Real Player or Windows Media Player.

Overthrown President Battlin' Stan Sallinger (0-2) 6'3", 260lbs. Springfield, IL vs. Eric Logan (2-5) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL (1-1) vs. Sigma Omega Beta (2-1-2) Carbondale, IL - "Big Man on Campus" Garret Ryan (1-0) 6'2" 232lbs. & "Toga" Steve Fisher (1-2) 5'10" 240lbs. w/ Prof. Philip H. Dempsey - PHD still has that Fat Man's Title on his shoulder, surprised. If you haven't seen that picture I took last month of him posing with the belt, it's the last photo listed on http://mudlist.betterbox.net/nmw. PHD has the mike and points out that the boys raised their voices at him. He thanks them, while everyone else was making fun of him for his alcoholism, they were there for him. There's a group hug. He then talks about Sage & Wells, and how they took advantage of him and gave him this belt. He thought of throwing it away, but he can't do it. He's been through rehab the last 30 days with Lex Luger (WHAT? Uh, I don't think Luger was in rehab Professor...) and fought his way back to sobriety and if it wasn't for Scott Hall helping him he wouldn't know where he'd be today. He says since he's fallen so far, and climbed all the way back, this belt is a championship, and it's his championship. He's gonna hang at ringside for his men. Dueling chants, Toga chants are drowned out by Logan chants. Toga Steve and Logan start the match. Toga shoves Eric down twice, Logan flips out of another shove and hits a drop kick. Tag Stan, Toga slugs it out with him, Irish whip and hip toss, charge Stan and a collision. Hip toss from Toga gets a one count. Arm wringer Stan, trip and a leg drop. Whip to the corner, tag Logan, Irish whip reversed arm drag Logan. Another Irish whip meets a kick from Ryan, slam Toga, tag Ryan. Punch to the side, whip and clothesline from Ryan, slugaway in the corner, whip and sideslam gets two. Rear chinlock by Ryan, drops him then knocks Stan off, suplex gets two. Knee to the chest by Ryan, headlock applied, sent to Toga for a boot. Tag Steve, beat up in the corner, choke Ryan. Clothesline Toga in the corner, axe smash Toga. Suplex attempt blocked, neckbreaker Logan, Irish whip and Samoan Drop. Ryan's in and sends Eric outside. Ryan goes after him but Logan crawled under the ring to escape Ryan, and comes out the other side wearing a pair of boxer shorts. Errr...where'd those come from? Tag Ryan, side suplex, head butt, rear chin lock. Irish whip, Ryan catches Logan in the Alabama Slam for a two count. Irish whip, sunset flip Logan gets two, small package two, Oklahoma Roll gets two. Ryan with a clothesline, ram in the corner with his back, superplex Ryan off the top gets a two count. Irish whip Ryan, toss in the air, but Eric catches him in a DDT. Tag both corners, Stan hits clotheslines, spinebusters, overhead fallaway slam on Ryan. Belly to belly suplex on Toga. Suplex Stan, Logan with a headscissors to get Ryan out. Stan holds up Toga Steve, Eric on top, flying neckbreaker! Cover gets three and we get a bit of an upset.

WINNERS: Battlin' Stan Sallinger & Eric Logan pin -> (2-1) 11:40 mins. ***

Uh oh we got problems...Toga Steven and Garret Ryan are jawing away at each other, Ryan blames Toga for the loss. PHD screams at them to stop fighting. He can't take this, he just got out of rehab, he's had enough and fires them both. They aren't paying any attention whatsoever, they're still arguing. Garret Ryan is being a sore loser, the fans do the Toga chant. You know I scoffed at the idea that this team would break up when someone raised the idea of it happening just a few weeks ago, now that it's happened, another major challenger to Sage & Wells is gone. Being that there isn't many tag teams that have had more than one match together in NMW, this just isn't a wise move. The frat boys finish with triple two's.

Jimmy plugs the school during the break. Sage & Well's music is playing, but Jimmy introduces the WRONG TEAM. Sheesh, doesn't he EVER learn what ring entrance music belongs to which wrestlers? He makes this mistake every month it seems. The wrong theme music is played again for Dangerous Investment, but wait a minute, they come out parodying Sage & Wells. Doug has a mop on his head and picks up a girl in the front row. Cash has a pillow in his shirt, and a trash bag around his legs. Some goofy insults are on their shirts.

Sage Ramsey (5-2) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL & Jason Wells (2-4) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO (3-0-2) vs. Dangerous Investment (2-1) Scotty Cash (5-3) 5'9" 170lbs. 'Yo Mommas House' & Danger Doug Fraze (1-1) 6'6" 275lbs. Chicago, IL - A few people are griping at me about using their previous names in the rap sheet as a tease. Some names just stick better than others. This is the rematch from last month's dramatic finale of the tournament and everyone should be at full strength. Well the champs attack, Irish whip double collision. Wells whips Cash with the pillow, big boot from Ramsey, charge misses, double clothesline, double facebuster. Ramsey & Wells with a double whip, and double hip toss. Cash and Wells start jockeying for position, then they both just tag out. Kick Sage, choke on the ropes, kick, rips the shirt off Doug's back, Irish whip reversed and Sage goes sailing over the top thanks to Cash pulling down the rope. Cash does a moonsault on Sage from the apron, Rude Awakening Fraze back in gets two. Cash in to cheat, Wells in, Starbody breaks it up. Leg drop Fraze, slam. Cash drops the legs again, ref is tied up with Wells, leg drop Fraze gets two. Butterfly armbar Fraze, elbow drop gets two. Fraze knocks Wells off while Cash chokes away, then Fraze chokes. Suplex Fraze gets two. Cash runs in and knocks Wells off, another choke by Fraze. Double team suplex by DI. Fraze goes to the top, Sage trips him, superplex Sage. Cash knocks Wells off again before Sage can tag out, Starbody for some reason just stays tied up with Wells. Cash is tagged in, a bunch of kicks then a cover gets two. Splash with his backside gets two. Arrgh, here comes Guy Smith. Leg drop from Cash gets two. Stompaway Cash gets another two count. Tag Fraze, suplex gets two. Attempt at a Last Ride is blocked, Sage with a superkick. Double tag, clotheslines from Wells, arm drags, spinebusters, Sage back in, double chokeslam on Cash gets two as Fraze pulls the ref out. Starbody shoves Doug. Sage is outside, Guy clocks him with his belt. Powerslam Cash in the rings gets two. Sage and Guy are brawling outside, Cash to the top rope and hits a legdrop and a two count. Guy posts Sage. Cash brings in a chair, shoving a ring girl off in the process, Starbody tries stopping him, Cash wants so badly to get himself DQ'ed, he nails Wells with it and gets his wish. He's screaming at Starbody threatening with the chair, and the ref rings the bell. Wells is up, powerslam Wells, ref counts it, the match was restarted? Okay fine, whatever. Not as good as last month, with so many choke holds used.

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS: Sage Ramsey & Jason Wells DQ -> (4-0-2) 15:30 mins. ***

Guy Smith jumps in the ring and tells everyone to shut up. All Female chant erupts. He recounts the tourney for the tag titles, and got the brackets changed to give them an advantage and they blew it. A rematch and they blew it. There's one man who's never given the team a chance, and while Cash is pointing to Doug, Smith clocks Cash from behind. WHAT? Well that's it for Dangerous Investment, there's your THIRD challenger to Sage & Wells gone finishing at 2-2. As for not giving the team "a chance", Cash wasn't thrilled with the idea when they had their first bout together, but they were performing like a well-oiled machine last month and all throughout this match so what the heck is Smith talking about? They both kick Cash down, here comes Witchy...uh, Marjorie Watson! Witchy orders them to get this crap out of her ring. Witchy has the mike, she sings the praises of Guy and he honors her. She then names Rip Mystic the #1 contender. WHAT? Hey Witchy, RWJ has the better win/loss record, he won against Smith last month, what the heck criteria are you using? Moron. RWJ comes right out with Quinten to confront the heels. Guy asks if he wants something. "That would be funny if I had a sense of humor. Ha ha ha ha. But I don't..." RWJ notes that he beat his butt last month and that's his title. CORRECT! Real World chant erupts. RWJ makes it clear that Rip Mystic was made the #1 contender cause he isn't here and he's injured. Witchy cuts him off. She says Rip's the #1 contender cause she says so and if he's not here Guy gets the night off. RWJ calls her on it, saying Guy getting a night off is cheating the fans out of what they paid for. Guy Smith claims RWJ has had too many title shots. Ahem, let's count them up, the initial tourney ended in a draw in round one, RWJ fought Shard as champ and won by DQ, triple threat match was a loss, four way was a loss, RWJ fought Smith last month and won. Eh, whatever. Smith had all the chances to sign a match with someone else, but he didn't. Smith won't fight RWJ again cause he's a bad person and he attacked Misty Matthews. Ahem, if you jump in the ring during the middle of a match, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU! Misty's out for a year. WHAT? Not again, what's dragged you away this time? RWJ tells him she got what she deserves and if you get in this ring...Witchy cuts him off and goads RWJ to do something to her so she can fire him. She goes and abuses her power again and says RWJ doesn't deserve another title shot and names Bing Westlake as his opponent. So Witchy led a coup-de-tah against Sallinger JUST to cover Guy Smith's butt. Okay Witchy, you're either gonna be the president or be Guy Smith's manager, but you cannot do both. Conflict of interest is enough to do another coup-de-tah.

Bing Westlake (2-5) 5"10" 165lbs. London, England vs. Real World Jeremy (6-2-1) 6'2" 240lbs. Denver, CO w/ Quinten Tyler - Bing's cousin was sitting right behind me, doing some USA bashing in the process, I fake a backhand at him to make him cut it out. Bing's got the mike, and running his mouth before the chants cut him off. Bing acts surprised that there are two of them. He runs his mouth a bit longer then gets ready to wrestle. He's taking too long so I bug him with another USA chant, and he breaks his club against the post in anger. Quinten hits Bing. RWJ pounds him in the corner, Bing out, RWJ slingshots him in, suplex. LOW BLOW Bing, clothesline gets a one count. Quinten has his full attention toward some blonde girl at ringside. Irish whip reversed, powerslam RWJ, Irish whip hop Bing ANOTHER LOW BLOW. That's TWO. Bing punches away in the corner, but RWJ powerbombs him for a two count. Irish whip to the corner, ref is knocked out and Bing hits ANOTHER LOW BLOW! Dumbasser Bing, then fetches his flag and drapes it over RWJ. RWJ grabs Bing by the groin, makes him hurt for a while, then gives him a monster spinebuster. Pedigree RWJ on the flag but the referee is out of commission. Here comes Guy Smith again and does the three count himself, RWJ sees him, misses an attack and gets side bombed by Guy then blasted with a Little Inspiration (I may start calling it the "wuss-out" if I see another Guy screwjob). Quinten of course paid no attention to any of this trying to pick up a date with this girl, Smith drags Bing on top and revives the ref and he counts him out. What a load of crap!

WINNER: Bing Westlake pin -> (3-5) 5:45 mins. ½*

Well there's your crappiest match of the night, no thanks to Wussy and Witchy. And this ballyhoo has put Sage Ramsey back in the #1 slot for Smith's title. Quinten hears the bell and then jumps in the ring, Smith tells him not to make a mistake then brings that woman in the ring who was a plant all along. Guy tells Quinten that RWJ brought him in to cover RWJ's butt and he will always live in his shadow. Gee, what a hypocrite, you had Cash, Fraze, Misty and Witchy covering your own butt here and the whole BBI over in MPW and you have the gall to make this claim against RWJ. Come with me he says and he will make you a star. "You know what, it's like Crimefighter says, you can be the New World Quinten!" *glares at Guy* RWJ sits up, bloody nose and all. He'll give him time to think about this, and when he decides, come talk to me. Cannot believe what Guy Smith just did, stole my idea, trying to turn Quinten into another bodyguard for the wussy Guy Smith. Sheesh I made an opponent suggestion for Quinten, if he wants to wrestle why didn't he ask for a match? Bing Westlake's just NOW crawling out of the ring? This is ridicious. Jimmy asks does he even know he won the match. Jimmy plugs the radio show "Undercurrent" but doesn't know who's on it.

Tom Arson (2-6) 6'5" 260lbs. St. Louis, MO vs. Christian Haze (1-0) 6’2" 250lbs. Phoenix, AZ - Haze is no longer MPW Missouri champion, having lost it to Damien Blade and he DOES think he was screwed last month, despite what others have been saying that Smith didn't screw him. Tony Angel was in attendance as a spectator. Arson stops at the commentary table, shakes hands with all of them, oops, not the middle one. Slam Arson, arm drag, another slam. Haze with a slam, hip tosses. Tom outside, slaps his hands on the steps and hurts them. Haze slingshots him in, headlock, takeover Haze, kick to the head, drop kick on the mat. Tom with a clothesline, chops and woos. Arson is sporting a sunburn and the skin is peeling off him during the match of all things. Boy, sunburns make shots to your body sting even more. Head flip, kick, elbow drop by Tom gets two. Rollup by Haze gets two. Suplex Arson, kick, slam, legdrop gets two. Irish whip, back body drop Haze. Tom kicks Haze into the ropes, choke in the corner, bulldog Arson gets two. Tom to the top, double axe handle blocked, belly to belly suplex Haze, SPEAR! Tom is outside, gets a chain, Haze kicks it out of his hands, the ref in entangled, Haze takes the chain himself and tries to punch Arson but he pulls the ref in front to take the hit. Oops. Haze hits the bombshell, but the ref calls it off right there and declares Arson the winner. Arson sucks chant. Arson stops by the commentary table on his way out and proclaims himself two and oh. I shout THREE AND SIX.

WINNER: Tom Arson DQ -> (3-6) 11:55 mins. **½

Final plug of the sponsors by Jimmy, and plugs the wrestling school.

Don't call me "The Khaos Kidd" no more Steven Bishop (2-5) 5'7" 200lbs. w/ RON vs. Lucious P. Cotrane (2-2) 5’10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious" - Springfield street fight this is called, so hardcore rules are in effect. It was originally planned for Rip Mystic to go against Bishop, but because of injuries LPC steps in to finish this feud once and for all. Adam Deacon isn't here no more to help cover RON's hide...HA HA HA! Well he was sitting in the audience as a spectator, not as Deacon but himself. Man they are still whining about me calling Bishop the "Khaos Kidd" in my recaps. Some names just stick more than others, this one REALLY sticks like super glue. Oh yeah, he's still doing the Right To Censor gimmick. RON's out here and not wearing his robe, now has the mike and is screaming bloody murder about losing a cult member, his title shot, and his tag team contendership. I cannot understand a word he says, until the point about destroying Rip Mystic and having followers all over the world. He opens the suitcase, and finds it empty. LPC comes out with the robe on. RON wants it back, LPC says he's gonna give a sermon tonight. This sermon is about lying, RON says you have thousands of followers, they kidnapped him, locked him in the basement, and all he saw was RON, [Adam], Steve sitting on the couch eating cheese puffs and poorly made Kool-Aid watching X-Files reruns. RON asks if he thinks he's God why don't he do something. Kidd misses with the cookie sheet. Irish whip, kendo shots from LPC. Fetched are an ironing board, and the BUMP sign. Kidd with a hockey stick, breaks it over LPC. Trash can lid shots, Kidd outside shoves that same ring girl to get her chair and hits LPC. LPC whacks Bishop with a pan. LPC rams Kidd in the corner back first. Trash lid shot LPC, and tosses the Kidd out. Chairshot on the outside, LPC rams Kidd into the rail, hits him with a pop bottle, breaks a hockey stick on his back, nails him with a pan. LPC takes a video camera and mocks Kidd and pans him again. LPC gets the mike, then sings a tune. "Let me tell about the story of a man named RON" Whack with the pan. "The dirty son of a XXXXX he could never get it on!" Whack with the pan. "I tore up his church and all he has is Steve!!!" Kidd with a low blow during the last line darn it, pans LPC. The ladder is inserted in the ring. LPC gets a bottle, Irish whip into the ladder by Kidd, weak collison, Kidd charges with a chair into the ladder and misses. Ironing board is set up in the corner, whip reversed and LPC crashes through it. Kendo stick shots from Kidd. Now he sets up two chairs and lays the BUMP sign on top. LPC blocks a move and spinebusters Kidd on the sign. Walls of Jerchio AKA Liontamer by LPC, but RON hops on the apron to draw LPC away. Kidd gets up, DDT on the sign. Oh no, he's got a STAPLEGUN! Learned the gun was empty thankfully, though you could think that actual staples were jammed into his head by the marks left behind after the show. [Sidebar: I didn't like when New Jack of ECW and XPW used the thing during his matches, thinking he has used actual staples and jammed them into the heads of his opponents. I don't wish to see it again.] Kidd puts the thing to his head and driver mech cuts him. Kidd tosses LPC out, suicide dive by the Kidd, blasts LPC with a STOP sign. LPC his Kidd with the BUMP sign. LPC has a table, Kidd put on the table, RON gets LPC to chase him. Kidd with a poke, throws LPC back in, does the swinging side slam "Seventh Day" but can't cover. LOW BLOW LPC, DDT, now he's got the staplegun and jams Kidd with it. Slam LPC, puts the ladder on top of Kidd, LPC to the top but RON shoves him off and through the table. Kidd sets up another table, whacks LPC with a trash can, flapjack on the can. Puts LPC on the table but it collapses. Someone from the crowd hops the rail, music playing, it's Rip Mystic in disguise wearing a beard and pillow! (Someone said he was actually running a video camera all night.) He keeps the crap out of the Kidd and RON, Impaler DDT. But out comes a nameless cult member in black to attack Rip. Double chokeslam, Baldo Bomb cult member! Backbreaker on Rip. Torture rack into a slam. The new trio try to leave but LPC whacks them all with a Caution Wet Floor sign then DDTs Kidd into the trash can for the win.

WINNER: Lucious P. Cotrain pin -> (3-2) 17:30 mins. ***

Guy Smith comes out to run his mouth, good job Lucious. Smith thinks he doesn't have the night off after all, so get ready Rip you have one match to prepare. Mess is cleaned up but they don't go to an intermission.

(c)El Diablo Silverado (7-3) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL vs. Michael Shard (5-7) 5'8" 160 lbs. Santa Monica, CA - Because Adam Deacon flew the coup, the title shot was passed to the #2 rated contender who I thought should had gotten the title shot in the first place. Lots of jockeying for position, shove Shard. Arm wringer EDS. Head lock Shard, three successive shoulderblocks. Run around, backslide EDS gets two, small package gets two, Shard gets one for two, reversed gets two. Flatliner Shard, two shoulderblocks. EDS slips out of a pickup and rolls him up for two. Head lock Shard to the corner, shove shoulder first to the corner, trip Shard. Bulldog EDS gets two. Shard works on the arm, back body drop by Shard, EDS hung in the ropes, drop kick Shard. Baseball slide Shard, slug sends EDS out, toss in, corner kicks, Irish whip reverse kick Shard. EDS with a bonazi drop off the ropes. Flatliner Shard, applies the Code Red, then an arm slam. Sitdown slam EDS, legdrop from the second rope gets two. Irish whip, springboard clothesline EDS gets two. Unprettier attempt blocked, EDS gets a DDT still for two. German suplex Shard, Irish whip clothesline misses, Shard tosses him up and facebusters EDS into the mat. Slam Shard, then he just walks around wasting time and does a one hand cover that doesn't get squat. Forearm punches to the head, now he goes for the mask, EDS runs Shard into the corner, then rolls up him for three. Dang me.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP: El Diablo Silverado pin -> (8-3) 11:55 mins. ***½

EDS offers to shake hands with Shard, but he won't shake and leaves. Well that was Shard's own fault for goofing around at the end, should had went for the Cutting Edge Sickle Hold. He's now the first man to reach eight defeats. Billy Morgan runs in out of nowhere to clobber EDS.

(c)"NMW Alpha Male, MPW Heavy Hitter, Fans All Female" Guy Smith (8-5) 6'0" 255lbs. Rapid City, SD w/ Emily vs. Rip Mystic (8-5) 5'8" 180lbs. Hannibal, MO - Well Rip Mystic's back is sore and he was supposed to be out of commission for 45 days with a torn bicep and a herniated disk in the spine. Apparently he feels healthy enough to compete. Smith comes out with the girl from earlier, identified as Emily. Guy has big heel heat. Slugfest to start the match, Irish whip reverse Mystic throws Smith over the top rope. Rip rams Guy into the steps, head slam to the apron, to the rail. Mystic is caught and rammed into the post, then the rail. Toss in, Smith kicks in the corner, Irish whip reversed, Rip with the cartwheel elbow. Chop sends Rip down and a two count. Mystic punch, Guy kick, backbreaker Guy. Suplex by Guy gets only a ONE count. Rip chant. Irish whip to the corner hard, Rip drops holding the back, cover gets two. Rear chinlock Guy, sits on him, back to the lock, another butt drop, chinlock again, third buttdrop gets a punch to the groin. Bonazi drop Smith gets a two count. Smith chokes Rip on the ropes, shoves Starbody, punch in the corner, chokehold, attempt at a snake eyes and Smith crashes into the corner. Pickup Mystic, eye poke Smith, double axe blocked, side suplex slam by Smith. Mystic Irish whip to the corner, charge meets a boot, clothesline Smith. Smith waits on him, Mystic up in the corner, Rock Bottom attempt blocked, spinkick misses, belly to belly suplex gets two for Guy. Guy to the top rope, goes for the frog splash but gets NOTHING. Mystic on top, flies off but gets the knees. Smith back up, sits on the top rope, says its over, spin hop to the top rope and moonsaults but gets NOTHING! Rip drags him to the corner, 450 chant, Mystic moonsaults, Smith rolls away, Rip lands on his feet, powerbomb gets a two count. Irish whip, Rip teases a chokeslam, spinkick to the back of the head gets two. Guy with a side suplex slam. Guy goes up to the top rope, Rip stands up dazed, bounces the ropes, crotches Guy, DDT off the top rope! Emily is on the apron, Starbody doesn't pay attention as usual, Rip goes over, she tries to slap, Rip holds the arm and acts like he's gonna kiss her but gives her GREEN SPEW all over her face! Well you get on the apron during a match, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. Smith misses a charge, rollup gets two for Rip. Smith with a clothesline, Irish whip, charge, misses a clothesline, Rip with a crucifix pinning combo only gets a two count! Clothesline Smith! LITTLE INSPIRATION! IT'S OVER!

WINNER and STILL CHAMP: "Alpha Male" Guy Smith pin -> (9-5) 11:10 mins. ***½

Doug Fraze comes out. Smith by hook or crook retains the title, this new girl is all painted in green. Fraze starts kicking Mystic. Scotty chant. Fraze with the LAST RIDE on Mystic! Stompaway by the heels, walks on him. Real World comes out, Quinten comes out and goes right to Emily. Quinten takes out RWJ's knee, you sell out! Doug has a chair, blasts the knee with it. Look at this, Quinten with a pedigree! Smith inserts the leg through the chair. Doug stomps the chair, Quinten stomps the chair, Smith goes to the top rope and does a flying stomp. Lose Yourself plays and Scotty Cash comes out with a chair, way late, throws it at Doug, gets in Quinten's face, Cash with the chair, the heels bail out but forgot the belt. Dares the trio to get back in the ring, lays the belt in the middle of the ring, Cash says you want the belt come get it, lays on the belt. Cash offers the belt back, but pulls it away. Cash notes that we beat Michael Shard, he carried our tag team, without me he's nothing, you all know it. We can cut the belt in half and divide it up or there can be a ladder match for the title next month. Smith and Doug come back in to take the belt, he pulls it away. Smith says fine, you want it you got it, June 28th you get your shot at my belt in a ladder match. Lose Yourself plays again. Referees come out to help Jeremy back, but he refuses it. The beers are in the ring; Rip and Cash guzzle beers ala Stone Cold. Rip and Cash help RWJ to the back.

The Verdict: Not as great a show as the previous one in terms of the wrestling action, but still a decent show, despite the crap thrown in. Guy Smith has his first DECENT match in a LONG TIME making me wonder why he's been slacking off so much. I don't know WHAT they are planning for the tag division now since three of the major challengers are now no more. There's a new cult member to replace Deacon, but they're gonna have to establish themselves all over again. I've been repeatedly noting that they haven't given a title shot to a couple of wrestlers who've been ranked in the top five against Guy Smith, they're going to take care of one of those next month, though if you told me if this would had transpired a week ago I would had scoffed at it. I keep asking for an intermission break and they don't build one in. At least there wasn't a problem with the heat in the building tonight, it was nice and cool all day to get the temperature in the building down so we don't all roast in that pressure cooker. Next month, it's El Diablo Silverado defending against Billy Morgan, Guy Smith defending against Scotty Cash, and Ramsey & Wells most likely defending against Sallinger & Logan.