The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
New Midwest Wrestling's Revolution II
6/28/2K3, Springfield, IL

There was a Revolution? I think I prefer the status quo!

This rap sheet is posted in http://www.newmidwest.com/forum, news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup that many wrestling organizations could utilize to spread info about their shows but don't, and the archive of all the ones I've written are stored in http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet.

Nothing of note happened over the past month, other than there's been an emergence of a mole. A mole? Yes, A MOLE! And it's driving people NUTS behind the scenes! And what has the mole been saying? That Real World Jeremy has more wrong with him than just the knee; the choppers have had to visit the dentist a couple of times. That Scotty Cash has been nursing a bad shoulder the entire month or so and couldn't train. Some critic of mine who should be sent to the psycho ward actually works there. Stan Sallinger has had to pick up the slack for Witchy who claims to be so busy. And there's been other goofy bits of gossip. I saw ads on Monday Night RAW for that other wrestling school, but an ad for NMW's school and show following RIGHT after it for a side-by-side comparison.

Tonight's show started a full half hour earlier but the doors opened 20 minutes late, though reasons why differ depending on who you ask. Inside it was pretty dark as they only used one row of lights because they have set up a nifty looking "titantron" next to the entryway. And they made good use of it all evening. Your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne, your commentary team is Rich Weities, James McCloud, and Spencer(?). Sheesh, why am I having so much trouble remembering the commentary team? Probably cause I can't hear them. Gonna have to borrow a tape to hear how they call the action.

Show starts off with Guy Smith and Doug Fraze coming out with a good entry video. "All Female" chant, and Smith wants everyone to look at the belt hanging above the ring, it's HIS belt, he stopped Tom Arson, beat Rip Mystic. He says that Scotty Cash we were cool for a little bit now where is he? He's nowhere. He's gonna show everyone what it means to swim with the Bigg Boyz. Nice reference to the BBI. Real World Jeremy found out last month what it's like to swim with the Big Shows, Bigg Boyz when he broke his ankle and he'll never be back. Boring chant. He has the honor to present the newest star of NMW. He's a future champ, last month he showed him the courage and guts to do what it takes to get ahead. Coming down the aisle with the lovely Emily Darling (Darling is her last name then?) here is NEW WORLD QUINTEN. Hey they're taking the gimmick name I came up with and running. Glad "Different World" didn't stick. I hear an "oh my gawd" in the crowd as I hold up a sign I made last night, a takeoff of the New World Order logo and show it off to people nearby. Well Quinten comes out here..."Well, they actually did use my sign didn't they! Yep, they did! Hahahaha!" Guy says, that's good thanks. "They can thank me for making that little graphic." Guy thanks Quinten for having the foresight to step out from his brother's shadow, he looks great but there's one problem. He tosses the shades and gives him a red headband. High fives are exchanged. Quinten screams over the last month he's been asked repeatedly, why Quinten? He says no one knows him, he HATES his bro. He's mad cause when bullies picked on him Jeremy was no where to help him. He no longer has a brother named Jeremy, he's got a brother named Guy. Music hits and Stan Sallinger and Eric Logan come out.

Overthrown President Battlin' Stan Sallinger (0-2) 6'3", 260lbs. Springfield, IL & Eric Logan (3-5) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL (2-1) vs. Danger Doug Fraze (1-1) 6'6" 275lbs. Chicago, IL & "New World" Quinten Tyler (0-0) 5'11", 230lbs. Denver, CO (debut) w/ Guy Smith & Emily Darling - Your referee is James Welden! This was an oddball signing of a match in my view. First Fraze dumps his tag partner Scotty Cash and breaks up Dangerous Investment for no apparently reason other than being a sore loser, then takes Quinten, who hasn't had a match before as his new partner after doing the song and dance that his brother is a jerk and doesn't want him to wrestle at all. Quinten with Fraze and Guy Smith destroyed Real World Jeremy's leg, while Quinten also wrecked his teeth. Can't say Jeremy has never wrecked someone else's teeth, Doug's mouth complete with braces was tore up by a pedigree. Sallinger and Logan should had been the ones with the tag title shot and got put in this match. And Guy Smith doesn't go to the back, oh boy I can see where it might be going. Stan and Logan need to switch back to the "woohoo" music cause the "o'le o'le" music just doesn't work. Last point before the match, I added one win to Logan's record for the battle royal victory that before I just counted as a tiebreaker between wrestlers with equal records. Should had done that a long time ago. Double leapfrog, double belly to belly, rollup by Danger gets two, Quinten rolled up for two. Clothesline Stan on NWQ gets two, big boot from Doug on Eric gets two. Drop kicks get two on the heels. Stan covers his own partner. Quinten pulls Stan out, spear by Doug on Eric. NWQ and Stan fight outside, Doug chokes Eric. Order appears to have been restored. Doug double choke, tag QT. Suplex by QT on Eric, holds on, suplex #2, then a third gets two. Eric Logan still has boxers on. Whip and side slam by QT. Tag Doug. Irish whip, side slam Doug. Tag QT, double side slam, cover gets zero. QT kicks away, choke on the ropes, tag Doug. Shoulders in the corner, suplex from Doug gets two. Irish whip clothesline Doug, takes a poke at Stan, Doug chokes Logan. Tag NWQ, punch-away in the corner, double team suplex gets two. Irish whip Quinten, gets nailed by a spinning heel kick. Eric picks him up, rolling slam, elbow drop by Eric gets two. Irish whip, charge misses, belly to belly suplex by NWQ. Tag Doug. Doug punches Eric in the gut, Guy chokes Eric on the bottom rope while the ref is tied up with Fraze. Doug chokes him, snap suplex gets two. More punching, Irish whip and Logan and Fraze have an UGLY collision. This is the point where things start falling apart. Irish whip, trip by Eric, hops on the ropes, flies backward, gets caught in a side slam. Arm wringer, pumphandle slam Doug, he goes for a splash and gets the knees. Does tag Quinten, he knocks Stan off, chokes Logan, Guy gets a shot in, NWQ punches in the corner, Irish whip weak clothesline in the corner. Quinten shoves him down, covers and GETS THREE! James Welden sits there with a confused look on his face as Logan stays motionless but doesn't call for the bell??? What the heck is that??? Had the match just been declared over right there it would had been much better for everyone involved, but NOOOOO...the match continues! Doug is tagged in, Irish whip clothesline the crowd counts two aloud. Irish whip to the corner, charges misses, suplex Eric. Eric to the top rope, missile dropkick. Emily hops on the apron, Doug misses a charge, we get a sloppy collision between Doug and Quinten, Logan with the 619 (well it's 217 cause we're in Illinois). Logan with a suicide dive from the top rope onto Quinten outside, tag Stan. Double clotheslines, double back elbows, double team top rope neckbreakers for everyone and they gets two. Match goes completely to Hades as Welden is forcibly yanked out of the ring by Smith to interrupt a count, then jumps in with a chair and creams Stan. Eric is tossed out, QT covers Stan, Smith throws the referee back in the ring, somehow that DOESN'T get them DQ'ed for it and he actually counts three.

WINNERS: "Danger" Doug Fraze & "New World" Quinten Tyler pin -> (1-0) 13 mins. *

First off, Smith yanked the ref out of the ring and it should had been a DQ right there like it has in the past when Misty Matthews as manager yanked PT Starbody out of the ring during an RWJ vs. Smith title match a couple months ago. Second James Welden is absolutely clueless as heck with the poor officiating job, and he pretty much admitted he screwed up badly. Third, the match should have ended when he counted Logan down five minutes ago even if it wasn't the planned finish. It serves NO good purpose to keep it going when the crowd knows otherwise. You lose track of the count and don't kick out, accept that you blew it and hit the showers. There, I've bashed this poor kid enough, here and in person. I can't say this crapshoot was stolen cause of Quinten pinning Logan at least five minutes before Guy Smith's "Official Sports Entertainment Finish" reared its ugly head to make this a total disaster. Jimmy says what a match and gets boo'ed. Jimmy announces the July 4th show in Edinburg.

Central Illinois Championship
(c)El Diablo Silverado (8-3) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL vs. "The UNDER Achiever" Billy Morgan (2-4) 5’10" 172lbs. Riverton, IL w/ Kev G, Cherry Malone & Formerly Nameless Ex-Security Guard JJ Tank -- Morgan had this match handed to him on a silver platter thanks to Bing Westlake. Cherry Malone celebrates her birthday today. Tank and Kev are in the ring challenging EDS while Billy goes outside. Kev gets back in and attacks EDS. Whip reverse clothesline on Kev, Tank in, drop kick in the gut. Here comes Billy Morgan, clothesline misses, tilt-a-whirl slam by EDS. Tilt-a-whirl slam by Billy, Irish whip clotheslines EDS, EDS clotheslines Billy outside. Baseball slide EDS, Kev and Tank help Billy up and causally move into position for a suicide dive. Irish whip reversed clothesline from the middle rope EDS, arm drag, Japanese arm drag, slam, punch in the corner, whip into the corner, EDS crashes into the post on a charge. Billy hurls EDS into the post, arm wringer Billy, spinning side suplex gets two. Knee to the shoulder, Irish whip crossbody from the middle rope gets two. Side elbow gets two. Tank with a trip, flatliner Billy, hammerlock applied. Irish whip, double clothesline sends both to the mat. Ref counts, both men up at eight, they start slugging away. A trip and legs dropped in the gut, EDS to the top, Billy bounces against the ropes to crotch him, superplex attempt, Billy is dumped off, Tank tries grabbing him and gets kicked off. Splash off the top, Cherry Malone is on the apron. Bill attacks EDS but gets hooked into the Unprettier BAM! Ref counts ONE, as Malone jumps on the apron again, someone tosses the belt in, EDS yanks her in the ring and gives her the Michinoku Driver as a birthday present. Beltshot from Billy KO's EDS as the ref rolls Cherry out and counts three. BLEH! After the show she was complaining about getting slammed, argued how the belt was acquired just like I predicted, and I tell her point blank "you jump in the ring during a match, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU." A virtual rerun from last month with all the interference making the match suck.

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: "The Overachiever" Billy Morgan pin -> (3-4) 9 mins. *½

What the crap? I knew this was gonna happen. Here comes Eric Logan who attacks Tank. Yes Logan has a score to settle with Billy cause he screwed him out of a title shot months ago. Kev sent to the corner, Eric dives on them both. The thugs are lined up on the match, double leg drop by EDS from the middle rope. Logan and EDS shake hands as they scream at the heels leaving. Another awful match. Someone asks Jimmy to name the sponsors, which he does. Announces the next show July 26th and the finals.

Michael Shard (5-8) 5'8" 160 lbs. Santa Monica, CA vs. "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (4-5) 5'10" 170lbs., Rushville, IL - Shard has the mike and he's screaming he's been here four years and is mad he has to face Earl Grissom. Incidentally, Earl ranks #3 and Mike ranks #4 in contendership for the CI Title. He's the only triple crown winner (bzzt bzzt. The CI and tag title reign were when the NMW was called the MWA so you can't call it a triple crown really.) and he's beaten every boy in the back and trained most of them. He hurls a bunch of insults at Earl and tells Ms. Watson he's done with her screwing him around and he quits. Oh, he FORFEITS!

WINNER: "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom forfeit -> (5-5)

Earl says if he had a better winning streak he wouldn't be outranked by me. Yep, that's right, now Shard has dropped OUT of contendership completely. Had he wrestled and won, he'd well, still stayed at #4 while Earl would had gone to #5. He's out here to wrestle and issues an open challenge. Unknown music hits and out comes a masked man in blue, a newcomer! The entrance video reveals his name to be El Pollo Loco. And I keep thinking POLIO. Who is this guy?

"The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (5-5) 5'10" 170lbs., Rushville, IL vs. El Pollo Loco (debut) 5'10"? 140lbs., Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico - We got our first welterweight here, wonder why there just isn't hardly any wrestlers of that weight class? El Pollo Loco is NOT Chico Es Loco or his former tag partner. Wrestlers trade moves to start, full nelson by Loco, yank of the mask by Earl, tip by Loco gets one. Punch, Irish whip, crossbody attempt and Loco is caught for a slam. Earl with an elbow, suplex, misses a headbutt. Irish whip reversed elbow shot by Loco gets two. Suplex attempt is blocked, suplex by Earl, he slaps Loco, they trade punches, shoulder block, Irish whip, clothesline Earl, spinning neckbreaker. Michael Shard is back and in the ring, flatliner on Earl, clothesline on Loco, then puts the Sickle Hold on Loco. Match is now over.

RESULT: NO CONTEST -> 3½ mins. ½*

PT Starbody does nothing to break it up, here comes Stan Sallinger! What are you doing here Shard, I didn't let you do this crap then and I won't let you do it now. He only gets embarrassed once per show and he's already got hit with a chair. Shard says you have me in the tourney next week and you're gonna cry like that little bastard. Stan says he likes doing that to the little fish and he's dealing with a big fish. Third bad match in a row, not the fault of the men wrestling but the fault of Shard himself ruining it! And it's not like I get this type of finish on RAW and Smackdown every week a couple of times already. How do I count a no contest, as a draw? Research indicates that a no contest is tallied separately from everything else in pro boxing so I'm gonna put it in the books as such.

NMW Tag Team Championship
(c)Sage Ramsey (5-2) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL & Jason Wells (2-4) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO (4-0-2) vs. "Rather Charming" Bradley Stephens 6'0" 225lbs. Las Vegas, NV (2-2) & Tom Arson (3-6) 6'5" 260lbs. St. Louis, MO (0-1) - Arson and Stephens are hardly the #1 contenders, but Witchy gives them the match anyway. Tom says well well well you fans in DECATUR are in for a treat. He says they are trendsetters and you're in for a treat. He's an ambassador and was talking to Sage and Wells, they're good guys, they wanted to say something but they're kind of stupid and asked them to do the talking for them. "Uh uh uh, eat eat eat eat" "Burger burger burger" "Bratwurst bratwurst bratwurst" "Pizza pizza pizza" That's all they had to say. Tom and Brad say with the straps they are gonna pick up where they left off. Out come the champs and charge the ring. James Welden is ref again, ugh. Fight begins, slug away in the corner, double whip, double punch, double slam by the champs, double hip toss, and the heels flee. Order is restored and the match officially starts with Wells and Stephens. Takedown Wells, arm wringer Brad, arm drag Wells, snapmare Brad, punch, elbow Brad. Tag Arson. Punch and a slam from Arson, elbow gets two. Irish whip, spear Wells. Tag Sage, double hip toss. Slug from Sage, Wells and Sage slingshot Stephens in, Arson tossed in, Wells with a headbutt on the shoulder, Irish whip to the corner goes Tom, Brad is whipped into Tom, Brad flops down, Tom drops headfirst into the groin. Headbutt, suplex by Sage. Tom with an eyepoke, slam, legdrop, tag Brad suplex gets two. Brad with an elbow, whip to the corner, legdrop gets two. Irish whip reversed boot misses, a second one from Sage find the mark. Brad comes back with an inverted atomic drop. Tag Arson, Irish whip clothesline Brad, boot Tom, two suplexes get two. Tag Stephens, Tom hip tosses Brad onto a prone Sage getting a two count. Slam Brad, hops on the middle rope, then runs over to the opposite corner jumps off and misses Sage by a mile. Tom jumps in and knocks Wells off. Brad with a backbreaker, holds it for Tom to drop a knee on his head that gets two. It looked like it didn't make contact at all! Which is probably why Sage gives Tom the FINAL FALL! But he can't cover, tag Stephens, tag Wells. Clotheslines, arm drags, spinebusters for everyone. Fireman's carry slam on Brad, Tom is knocked off the top rope by Sage, double team chokeslam finishes for three! Finally a decent match.

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS: Sage Ramsey & Jason Wells pin -> (5-0-2) 12 mins. **½

Capitol City Drink Off
"Big Man on Campus" Garret Ryan (1-0) 6'2" 232lbs. Carbondale, IL vs. "Toga" Steve Fisher (1-2) 5'10" 240lbs. Carbondale, IL - Let's go over what I THOUGHT the rules were for this match. The wrestlers fight for a couple minutes, then they have to go their corners and consume a beer. This continues until someone is too drunk, gets pinned, counted out or taps out. Well it ain't those rules, it would had been better if it was that type of match, it's just a regular drinking contest. The frat boys broke up last month after losing a tag match for no good reason. The video has Steve's face crossed out in the titantron video. Ryan has the mike, he says do we enjoy coming to this toilet and he wants to be around all these pieces of crap. He makes threats to members of the audience. He's got unfinished business with Toga Steve and wants him out here. The video now has Ryan's face crossed out. Welden and Starbody are in the ring with a six-pack and a bottle of liquor or scotch. Ryan blames Steve for blowing every title match and isn't worth wrestling, but the only thing he's good at is drinking. Steve says you want to challenge me to a drinking contest and he's not lost one since the 4th grade. They start with a beer and Ryan dumps it on Steve's shirt. Now we go to the scotch. Shots are poured, they drink. Shot #2 they guzzle it down. Shot #3, they drink. The buzz isn't gonna occur that quick. Shot #4, they down it, Garret is starting to grimace. Some stupid chant erupts from the crowd. Shot #5 is poured, half the bottle is gone, they drink, Garret is still grimacing, Toga takes the rest of the bottle and downs the whole thing. Ryan spears Toga and we got a brawl. They are fighting on the mat, the referees run away, someone comes in the ring, not wearing a shirt marked security, they get them apart before Ryan throws a guard against the ropes and hurts him in doing it before he hops over. Ryan with a suicide dive on security outside. Ryan goes after Toga again, they fight on the floor. Ryan fights with security, they manage to get them to the back. No match at all, what a waste of time. Yeah they never billed it as a match, but NO ONE stood up and corrected me beforehand in saying what the rules were weeks ahead of time.

Weapon on a Pole Match
Dredd Walker (6-5-1) 5'11" 210lbs. "Purgatory" vs. Bing Westlake (3-5) 5"10" 165lbs. London, England - Ah, the good old weapon on a pole match. Every time someone holds one of these things, they don't make clear when the match is won. Is the match won when the weapon is grabbed first, or is the match won if you KO the opposition with the weapon and pin him, or can you pin the opposition without using the weapon at all? Anyway the weapon of choice for this match is a golf putter. Jimmy says it's no DQ but only the putter itself can be used as a weapon and pinfalls count after the putter is gotten off the pole. If it's no DQ what if someone uses a chair? Bing's mad cause he broke his putter last month cause of the USA chants. Calls Dredd a relic from the 80's with face paint. He calls El Pollo Loco the chicken at someone who called him a chicken you idiot. Dredd charges out, wearing street clothes. Dredd gets the mike, encourages the crowd to let him have it with the USA chant. Dredd says he's not dressed for a competition tonight, he's here to hand Bing his arse all over the building and he can go crawling back to England to that b**** of a queen and that pisses Bing off. Dredd slugs him down, Dredd flips him over, drop kick to the back of the head. Bing goes for the putter already but Dredd throws him down. Stomp Dredd, chop. Clothesline Bing, rake, goes for the club again, gets shoved to the floor outside. Oh yeah, Bing's cousin is sitting next to me again chanting "England, England". Outside Dredd rams him into the rail, LOW BLOW Bing, wondered when we were gonna see one of those. Bing puts Dredd on a chair, suicide dive Bing into Dredd on the chair. Bing rams him in the rail, to the commentator's table, then rams him into the wooden stand where a camera used to be, Dredd back body drops Bing reversing some attempted move, it's hard to see them now with all the people in the way. Dredd with a clothesline, Bing with a crossbody on the floor, Bing jumps and hangs from the basketball hoop to kick Dredd, then do a hurraconranna. Strangely enough it was set at a height of 6-7 feet as opposed to the other one. Irish whip reversed, Dredd crashes into the chair rack or was that Bing? Now I can't see them among the sea of people, neither on the titantron. Back breaker Dredd, Dredd gets a beer and uses it in some form, can't see. Dredd drags Bing back over the rail and back in the ring. Dredd goes for the putter and twists it off. Club shot is blocked, Bing grabs it and gives Dredd a couple of shots, misses a swing, Dredd kicks him, steals the club, blasts Bing in the head and pins him with one foot!

WINNER: Dredd Walker pin -> (7-5-1) 7½ mins. **½

Dredd says there you have it, another win in his column. Someone shouts you suck. Says he's been overlooked. Other people come out whining about being screwed and he's the only one who pinned Guy Smith. He got screwed as #1 contender for the CI title. He's stuck with mid-card matches, no title shot, calls Ms. Watson to give him what is rightful his. "Come on Witchy get out here!" Witchy says who do you think you are I'm busy. If you can go through the brackets and win the tourney you get a title shot in August. Dredd says it's not good enough. Dredd says the people are sick he's gotten screwed for so long and wants his title shot. Witchy says it's his show and she calls the shots. If he doesn't win the tourney he won't get a shot for a very long time. Uh yeah Witchy, you don't have ALL the power, and Dredd has quarter ownership in the company.

Rip Mystic (8-6) 5'8" 180lbs. Hannibal, MO & Lucious P. Cotrane (3-2) 5’10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious" (debut) vs. The NEW Cult of RON (debut) Kincaid, IL - Don't call me "The Khaos Kidd" no more Steven Bishop (2-6) 5'7" 200lbs. & "Anonymous" (debut) 5'11", 252lbs. w/ RON - Bishop apparently is on thin ice and headed out the door if he loses the match. RON's got a crowbar! And the nameless cult member in black is going to remain anonymous for no good reason. I'm just gonna dub him with a name, "Blacky". LPC comes to the ring first, but after Rip is introduced, Witchy comes out instead. Witchy says she forgot to mention due to an unforeseen situation in the back, Rip Mystic is unable to come out and he declares this match a handicap match. The cult is beating the crap out of LPC, LPC comes back, sends out Blacky, punches Bishop in the corner. Irish whip, splash LPC in the corner, another whip next to Blacky, a weak splash in the corner, leg trip, groin shot, Blacky with a clothesline. Stompaway. They just kick away, Bishop with a suplex on LPC, stomps. Irish whip, back breaker Kidd. Tag Blacky. Punch, suplex into a slam (jackhammer slam?) that gets two. Irish whip, elbow, leg drop gets two. Blacky puts LPC in the Camel Clutch, but lets go! Tag Kidd. Irish whip, hip toss and choke by Kidd. Irish whip, Thesz Press LPC and punches away. Spinebuster, Boston Crab by LPC which is broken up by Blacky. Kidd with a Russian leg sweep. Tag Blacky, Kidd ties up the arms for Blacky to kick him. Blacky puts LPC in Razor's Edge then he tosses him off. Kidd in, double irish whip, double flapjack gets three! Another disappointment of a match, mainly cause it was one against two and Rip was gone, what a crock that was.

WINNERS: The NEW Church of RON pin -> (1-0) 5 mins. *½

Rip Mystic is back on the DL with that injury of a herniated disc in the spine from two months ago coming back to bite him when he wrestled last month when he shouldn't had about 20 days sooner than he should. RON claims he beat him up with that crowbar before the match as well. Chances are now VERY SLIM he'll be able to compete in the AHMT on July 4th, so we now have an open slot against Doug Fraze. The beatdown continues after the match and RON prepares to clock LPC with the crowbar. Out comes Sage & Wells for the save to drive the cult away. Jimmy gives away some T-shirts in a raffle.

NMW Heavyweight Championship - Ladder Match
(c)"NMW Alpha Male, MPW Heavy Hitter, Fans All Female" Guy Smith (9-5) 6'0" 255lbs. Rapid City, SD w/ Emily Darling vs. Scotty Cash (5-3) 5'9" 170lbs. 'Yo Mommas House' - Emily's still here! I'm shocked! Even after getting painted green last month and Smith having a different valet every couple months! Scotty Cash however, has a bad shoulder and wasn't able to train much for his match because of it. Cash slips out and walks right behind Emily. Faceoff in the ring. Emily is getting heckled like crazy. Slugfest, clothesline, Smith clotheslines Cash out and follows. Fight outside, Cash back in quick, Cash crashes into a ladder in a suicide dive. Smith whip reverse into the ladder, Cash eats it on a charge. Cash is rammed into the post, tossed in. Smith got a bent up trash can from last month, tosses the BUMP sign in, ladder too. Cash is hit with the can, another shot. All Female chant starts. Smith punches, whip, side slam on the ladder. Guy fetches a chair, sets them up making a "table" with two chairs and the BUMP sign. Suplex blocked, 747 into the sign goes Smith. Scotty favors his wrist. Chairshot Cash. Cash with the can, whack in the head. Chairs are bent up. Bottle tossed at Cash. Suplex on the sign by Cash. Lays a chair on Smith, legdrop. BUMP sign tossed on Smith, comes the ladder in the corner. Smith is whipped into the ladder and the pole. Cash makes a signal, has the lid, smacks Smith on the rear, then the head. Cash lays the sign, throws the can on top, side splash into the can and hurts himself. Cash pickup, slam on the sign. Cash goes for the ladder, bottom rung splash, to the second another splash, a third, then for the fourth he missed. Cash is holding his leg. Smith hits Cash with the sign, gets the can and jams it in the corner. Irish whip into the can, Cash can't stand, left knee hurts. Cash exits, Smith follows, blasts him with the can, toss in, puts the sign on top, drops the ladder on him. Now Smith puts the ladder on top of Cash and splashes him. Chairshot, makes another table with the bent up chairs and the ladder. Slam on the ladder, the thing won't hold cause it's bent up, Guy shouts "darn these shoddy chairs!". Puts it back together, goes to the middle rope, spins around, hops off the top rope for a moonsault and gets nothing but ladder and really hurts himself! Cash throws a bent chair at Guy. Cash is limping around, got a chair, WHACK! There's two, three. Cash takes a seat, checks his watch, fourth shot! Cash kicks away with his good leg. Cash with the chair again, hesitates, fifth one blocked, belly to belly with the chair by Guy. Smith calls Emily up. She hands him a STUN GUN! Cash with a low blow via the chair. Cash gives Emily a kiss, Quinten comes out enraged! Cash ZAPS Quinten! Smith with a piledriver on Cash! Guy gets the trash can, Cash is out of it, LITTLE INSPIRATION on the trash can, sign and ladder! Screwy chants from the crowd. Guy finally climbs up for the belt at 15 minutes in, ladder is bent up a bit. Cash shoves him off, sending Smith over the top rope and takes out PT Starbody. (This apparently looked a lot worse from a different angle as some say Smith took a sick bump here.) Cash goes up for the belt and gets it, but there's no referee! Here comes Doug Fraze! Chairshot to the back by Fraze. LAST RIDE on Cash. Real World Jeremy has emerged behind me, as Doug Fraze puts the belt back up on the rope. Guy Smith gets up, Quinten is back out here, so is Emily, Jeremy watches from the shadows. Guy climbs up the ladder, Cash grabs a foot, Smith gets the belt down and it's over.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP: "Alpha Male" Guy Smith KO -> (10-5) 18 minutes. ****

Doug sets the ladder in the corner, thought RWJ might interfere himself, the heels clear the ring of stuff, Jeremy limps toward the ring, clocks Doug with a chair, Jeremy shouts at Emily, NWQ looks on. Ladder misses someone, Doug on his feet, Jeremy turns and clocks Doug on the head. SPEAR Scotty on Quinten. Jeremy checks on Scotty and helps him up, Doug is out in the corner. Table chant. Cash and Jeremy discuss what to do, I know what I want. Chair is set up, pedigree on the chair! Doug is busted open, Jeremy is limping around some more. Cash gets on the ladder, gets the crowd to tell him where to jump off, he goes all the way to rung #7 and splashes him off the top! Time for the beer bash as they're pitched into the ring. Scotty hands one to Jeremy as Lose Yourself plays, Jeremy's reluctant to beer bash but finally does the beer splashing to finish the show.

The Verdict: I was not pleased about what I saw, and for the first time am giving an NMW show a thumbs down for its four crappy matches, two average matches and the one good ladder match. Though I've already taken some serious flak for bashing Revolution from people who actually did like the show. But on the other side of the coin some wrestlers admitted this show turned out pretty bad so it's a mixed review from the public. I skipped fireworks at a private party for this, but got my fill the next day so...*shrug* Coming July 4th, the Alexis Homeier Memorial Tournament. Eric Logan vs. Bing Westlake, Tom Arson vs. Earl Grissom, Anonymous vs. Lucious P. Cotrane, Stan Sallinger vs. Michael Shard, Steven Bishop vs. Toga Steve, Dredd Walker vs. Quinten Tyler, Doug Fraze and Billy Morgan face open slots to be refilled. Anyone from Sage Ramsey, Jason Wells, El Diablo Silverado, Garret Ryan, Brad Stephens, and El Pollo Loco could fill the open slots. Rip Mystic is out with a back injury, Real World Jeremy is still out with a leg injury, Cash will be recovering from the extra damage inflicted by the ladder match besides the bad shoulder, and Guy Smith has no reason to enter since he's champ. There you have it!