This rap sheet is posted in http://www.newmidwest.com/forum, news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup that many wrestling organizations could utilize to spread info about their shows but don't, and the archive of all the ones I've written are stored in http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet.

Almost one year ago, July 11th to be exact, there was a tragic drowning accident at a private swimming pool in Springfield. Alexis Homeier, the daughter of Jamie Homeier, a.k.a. "Hot Valet" the original manager of "Alpha Male" Guy Smith and the niece of Rip Mystic died at the age of just three years old. This tournament was established in her memory. After the dust has settled from the previous show, half the tournament bracketing got reshuffled and some names added, while some were taken off the Alexis Homeier Memorial Tournament. Rip Mystic, who wanted badly to perform in the tourney in honor of his late niece, cannot due to a back injury. I suggested he could still technically be in the tourney, by simply serving as a special guest referee in some of the matches. Let's see if he does do the ref'ing job. Also scratched from the tourney is Billy Morgan--fresh off of winning the Central IL Title reason unknown, Bing Westlake due to injuries gotten from that weapon on a pole match, and Real World Jeremy due to a knee injury. Added to the tourney are El Pollo Loco, Sage Ramsey, Jason Wells and El Diablo Silverado.

That Legally Blonde II movie is out, of which features as extras, yours truly and Stan Sallinger, plus some other forum board personalities here. The scene where we are supposed to appear is during the last ten minutes of the movie inside what is supposed to be the US House Chamber (actually the Illinois House Chamber). I'm the one wearing olive on the left side of the aisle. Stan sits somewhere in the middle of the left side of the chamber. Reviews of this movie haven't been great, averaging a rating of **½.

The top contenders for the titles before the show: Guy Smith, heavyweight champ. #1 Sage Ramsey, #2 El Diablo Silverado, #3 Real World Jeremy, #4 Lucious P. Cotrain, #5 Dredd Walker. Billy Morgan, Central IL champ. #1 Rip Mystic, #2 Scotty Cash, #3 Earl Grissom, #4 Bradley Stephens, #5 Eric Logan. After today there could be a major shift in contendership. And oh boy, what a day this is! 90 degrees, 60% humidity, heat index well over 100. Managed to stay out of the sun and get a nice from the south breeze to make it easier for us spectators. Oh yeah, for the first time ever, the Crimefighter becomes a video cameraman, and boy, it made writing this rap sheet a LOT easier.

Show opens with Majorie Watson giving her personal guarantee the matches are as clean as possible and instructed all the refs to enforce the rules and DQ anyone who doesn't abide by them. Yeah right. Be interesting to see if that actually happens. Your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne, your ringside commentator is Josh, Bing Westlake is your sound guy, Kev G is your bell ringer of which the bell is a coal shovel and a crowbar. Guy Smith is sitting at the table as well.

Eric Logan (3-5) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL vs. El Pollo Loco (0-0-0-1) 5'8"? 140lbs., Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico - They're fresh off their disasters from last week, where Logan was pinned in the middle of a match and yet it continued onward, and El Pollo Loco's match was interrupted by a crabby Michael Shard in which he was wrestling in his place. It's a middleweight vs. welterweight match, something you just don't see hardly in wrestling. El Pollo Loco is substituting for Bing Westlake, who has a wrecked leg from that weapon on a pole match. Loco does his chicken dance. Logan shows off with a moonsault into the ring. Lockup, arm wringer Logan, to the ropes and a break. Lockup, hammerlock Logan, reversed, headlock Loco, takedown, headscissors Logan, escape. Lockup, armdrag Logan, another, whip clothesline misses, sloppy arm drag Loco, another, side suplex Logan gets two. Irish whip, Loco hangs on the ropes, Logan charges and goes over the top. Loco with a flying body tackle on the outside. Loco tosses him in, cover gets two. Whip Loco, reversed, Samoan Drop Logan, elbow, goes up, hits an Orange Crush with is a forward flip senton for the win. Quickie opener.

WINNER: Eric Logan pin -> (4-5) 3:15 mins. *½

El Diablo Silverado (8-4) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL vs. Danger Doug Fraze (1-1) 6'6" 275lbs. Chicago, IL w/ New World Quinten - Doug is still here, after taking a pedigree into a chair and getting a nasty cut on his head. El Diablo Silverado is the #2 contender for the heavyweight title and just lost his CI Title. He is substituting for the injured Rip Mystic. EDS wears black in this hot weather. Lockup shove Doug, EDS goes behind, headlock, runs the ropes and gets side slammed. Doug punches away at his head, stomp, pickup, to the corner, shoulderblock, whip to the corner, EDS rolls him up for one. Doug pokes him in the eyes, suplex Doug gets two. Doug, whip reversed, bulldog EDS. EDS grabs his legs, makes a wish and drops his legs in the gut that get two. Irish whip EDS, clotheslines miss, drop down, leapfrog then steps out of the way as Doug runs back and forth still dazed from the pedigree into the chair and flops down, cover gets two. LOW BLOW Doug. Doug goes for the LAST RIDE, hurraconranna counter from EDS. Silverado to the top, frogsplash gets three! Another quickie.

WINNER: El Diablo Silverado pin -> (9-4) 3:25 mins. *½

Lucious P. Cotrane (3-2) 5’10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious" vs. "Anonymous" (0-0) 5'11", 252lbs. Kincaid, IL w/ RON - The Nameless Cult Member in Black still doesn't have a name, and I just figured out why...he doesn't want his name associated with RON. LPC had to go it alone against the entire cult when Rip Mystic was scratched from the bout due to a back injury. The cult is out with squirt guns shooting at people. Anonymous didn't dress for the weather. RON has this Bermuda shirt on. Lockup, shove Anonymous. Headlock LPC, shove, shoulderblock gets nothing, Anonymous don't go down, another charge and a trip. Anonymous slugs away and goes after the knee. Half crab by Anonymous. RON squirts in LPC's face. Knee slam, Anonymous punches away in the corner, Irish whip blocked, KICK WHAM STUNNER LPC gets three! Well there's reason #2 why the guy doesn't have a name, cause he sucks! Khaos Kidd squirts me as the cult leaves, afraid he was gonna get the camera. I shout I'll get him back. LPC limps to the back.

WINNER: Lucious P. Cotrane pin -> (4-2) 2 mins. ½*

Michael Shard (5-9) 5'8" 160 lbs. Santa Monica, CA vs. Overthrown President Battlin' Stan Sallinger (0-2) 6'3", 260lbs. Springfield, IL - Shard is his own worst enemy. He goes and forfeits his match last week against Earl Grissom because he claims he was not a worthy opponent for him, despite the fact that Earl was ranked #3 and Shard #4 in the CI Title chase. Shard wanted another title shot, even though the previous match he had was a CI Title shot that he came up the loser in, that title match was handed to him after Adam Deacon gave up his shot that he earned from that Sinister Six match that Shard himself lost in. Stan Sallinger when he was president instead of Witchy overturned the referee's decision in Shard's match against Eric Logan so many moons ago due to unsportsman-like conduct, which has contributed to the big hole Shard had dug himself into. Shard lays on the top rope, in vintage form. Shard dodges Stan, swing blocked, chokehold to the corner but Shard escapes. Shard with a kick to the leg, stomps on it, elbow. Shard says its all about him. Stan slugs away at him, whip, big back body drop, clothesline, bodyslam, two, a third, and Shard goes to the grass. Shard waves his hand like he's hot. Stan goes after him, drop kick to the knee by Shard in the ring. Shard puts on the figure four! Stan manages to turn it over, but Shard's in the ropes. Shard continues to attack, Irish whip, Stan with a full nelson, Shard hooks a leg and gets out of it, the cutting edge sickle hold applied, Stan could get out of it if he reaches to his left, he doesn't, he taps! Shard gets the submission and Stan goes to 0-3.

WINNER: Michael Shard submission -> (6-9) 4 mins. *½

Don't call me "The Khaos Kidd" no more Steven Bishop (2-6) 5'7" 200lbs. Springfield, IL vs. "Toga" Steve Fisher (1-2) 5'10" 240lbs. Carbondale, IL - Last time these guys fought, Toga Steve was in a tag team against Bishop when he teamed with LPC in the tag tourney only to have LPC turn on him in a failed attempt at lobotomy by the cult. The frat boys squashed Bishop as a result. Toga is out here with a plank. RON this time has a bag of water balloons! He throws one at the ref and hits Kidd. Wow, Kidd isn't doing the RTC gimmick this time. RON throws at Toga, Bishop attacks, hits a clothesline, suplex, RON throws more of them, hits the ref but didn't break, he picks it up and hits RON with it. Toga blocks a move and does a vertical suplex. RON on the apron, Toga yanks a PURPLE BRA out of his pants! Irish whip, belly to belly suplex by Toga. RON throws another one, doesn't break, I hurry over and grab it before he sees me. RON on the apron again, Toga shoves him off. Kidd sneaks up and hits a DDT. A kid throws water on RON. RON has another balloon, Kidd slugs away in the corner, one goes in the ring and didn't break, Kidd picks it up then smacks one in Toga's face. That actually HELPS Toga not harms him with this heat. Irish whip to the corner, reversed, Kidd jumps on the second rope, slips and hits his face on the post, Toga with an inverted swinging neckbreaker referred to him as "The Hazing" gets three! RON's last balloon didn't phase Toga in the cover. Toga runs off RON, Kidd walks by me, BAM! I smack him with the last water balloon! Crowd cheers wildly for the Crimefighter!

WINNER: Toga Steve pin -> (2-2) 3 mins. *¼

Tom Arson (3-6) 6'5" 260lbs. St. Louis, MO vs. "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (5-5-0-1) 5'10" 170lbs., Rushville, IL - Grissom got a gift win by forfeit when Michael Shard refused to fight him, getting him up to the .500 mark for the first time with three straight wins. Shard interrupted his match with El Pollo Loco and added a no-contest tally to the record. Tom Arson has won his last two singles bouts. Tom's got the mike, he says it's been quite a while since he's been in Edinburg. Boring chant. He doesn't want to make friends, he's never been here, it's filled with hillbilly rednecks and there's only four teeth in the whole crowd. Some woman walks up to the ring and grabs a water balloon left under the ring, and throws it at Arson but misses. She says we'll take you out. Arson says he doesn't like the smell of every one of us. "Arson's girlfriend rules!" Sheesh THAT'S what that dumb chant was. Lockup, shove Arson. Lockup, another shove. Grissom with a takedown, Earl dances in the corner. Kick Arson, Irish whip, pickup misses, crossbody Earl gets two. Rollup gets two, sunset flip gets two, Arson gets out of the ring. The Colonel is your referee, this is his last day. Earl with a leg trip, hip tosses, Arson outside again and wipes himself with his shirt. Arson clobbers Earl down, to the corner, chokes away, suplex. Russian leg sweep by Arson gets two. Arson with a slam, big leg drop, dumb cover gets two. Irish whip, double clothesline they're both down. Arson back up at four, that chant again. Arson whip, boot misses, spinning neckbreaker Earl gets two! Earl with the spinning leg neckbreaker! Earl to the top rope, bulldog from the top! Too close to the ropes and Earl gets only two. Earl goes for another neckbreaker, Arson blocks, Tom gets the Liberty Spike piledriver, not all of it but enough of it to get the three count! Tom makes the three and oh sign at me, I shout four and six.

WINNER: Tom Arson pin -> (4-6) 6:25 mins. **½

Sage Ramsey (5-2) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL vs. Jason Wells (2-4) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO - Dang, they put the tag champs AGAINST each other in the first round subbing for what was to be Billy Morgan vs. Real World Jeremy. These guys had a big feud last year before Wells broke ties with PHD. Sage is the #1 ranked contender for the heavyweight title, and yet has never gotten a shot at Guy Smith. Been a very long time since they've each had a singles match as their team has gotten their record up to 5-0-2. They both wore black and leather, they're gonna fry. Test of strength to begin, Wells breaks away. Lockup, headlock Sage, takedown. Another lockup, Wells with a headlock and takedown. Wells with a go-behind, reversed, Wells elbows out, Sage misses a boot, Wells with an armdrag. Wells with another go-behind, side suplex gets one. Wells with a whip, hiptoss into a slam gets two. Wells with a legdrop gets two. Wells goes up top, moonsault gets nothing! Sage with a gut wrench suplex gets two. Sage with a snap suplex, referee is way out of position, gets two. Sage, Irish whip reverse, Wells with a spinebuster! Wells pulls him in place, goes to the middle rope, Vader bomb gets the knees. Sage goes for the final fall, can't hold him, Wells tries his move, can't hold him, Wells attempts a spinebuster, just drops him, Wells tries fireman's carry slam again, Sage gets out, small package by Wells gets three! I can't believe it! There's an upset right there. The tag champs shake hands.

WINNER: Jason Wells pin -> (3-4) 5:20 mins. **

Dredd Walker (7-5-1) 5'11" 210lbs. "Purgatory" vs. "New World" Quinten Tyler (0-0) 5'11", 230lbs. Denver, CO w/ Doug Fraze - Dredd feels like he's been passed over repeatedly for title shots, bouncing between #5 contender to Guy Smith's title to #1 contender to the CI Title. Quinten is having his first singles match here. Quinten attacks from behind, whip to the corner, clothesline, kicks him outside. Doug says he just take advantage of situations. Colonel tells Doug if he touches him he's gone. NWQ tries for a suplex in, blocked, sunset flip Dredd gets two. QT with a clothesline gets two. Whip QT, big side slam gets two. QT with a suplex, chains it for a second, then a third and covers for two. NMQ whip to the corner, walks into a boot, then another one, Dredd goes up, drop kick from the top, doesn't get much of it. Dredd with a backbreaker, holds it, then drops him. Dredd, whip, spinning heel kick gets two. All Female chant. Irish whip Dredd, a move is blocked, DDT Quinten! NWQ goes up to the second rope, leg drop misses by a mile. Dredd goes for the STF and gets a submission!

WINNER: Dredd Walker submission -> (8-5-1) 4:30 mins. **½

Eric Logan (4-5) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL vs. El Diablo Silverado (9-4) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL - Logan does another moonsault in the ring. EDS comes in and teases a moonsault in, but just hops off for a laugh. Lockup, and they spin each other face first to the mat. It's slippery they say. High five. Billy Morgan is out here, Billy throws water at EDS, then stares at Cherry Malone who's right next to me. Lockup, go behind, side headlock EDS, shoulderblock EDS, hip toss blocked, Logan with a neckbreaker gets two. Springboard crossbody from EDS gets two. Logan with a fireman's carry rolling slam. Logan punches away in the corner, Irish whip reversed, bulldog EDS gets two. Michinoku Driver from EDS gets two. Logan with a full nelson, reversed, Unprettier blocked, Logan picks him up on his shoulders and drops him backward. Logan up top, frogsplash gets three! Another upset in a quickie match. They leave together and Logan points at Malone on the way out.

WINNER: Eric Logan pin -> (5-5) 3:25 mins. **

Lucious P. Cotrane (4-2) 5’10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious" vs. Michael Shard (6-9) 5'8" 160 lbs. Santa Monica, CA - A week ago, LPC had to go it alone against the cult. LPC is still limping a bit. LPC states he's gonna beat Shard. Shard lays on the top rope again. Sneak attack by Shard, snap mere, drop kick Shard. Midget chant. Shard slugs away, shouts he's not in my league, I shout he's in your league cause he's got a better win-loss record than you do! LPC takes over, punches in the gut, then ten punches to the head in the corner. Irish whip, a weak spinebuster by LPC, takes the legs but gets small packaged for two. Drop kick to the knee by Shard. Midgets rule chant makes Shard mad. Toss a midget chant. Shard kicks the knee, then drops the elbow on the leg, LPC is screaming. LPC's leg was injured last year. Enziguri by LPC. LPC slugs, whip, pickup misses, KICK WHAM STUNNER LPC! LPC can't cover, Shard is by the ropes, cover and Shard grabs the bottom rope. LPC can't stand, Shard with a flatliner gets three. Oh James Welden almost makes the same mistake in counting from last week but this time does the right thing and calls for the bell. LPC can't walk and limps to the back.

WINNER: Michael Shard submission -> (7-9) 3:30 mins. *¾

Dredd Walker (8-5-1) 5'11" 210lbs. "Purgatory" vs. Jason Wells (3-4) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO - The cult kidnaps Sage Ramsey as soon as they come out of the building and drag him back in. Bell rings, lockup, the cult is back out here! Dredd with a headlock, shoulderblock Wells. Wells looks at RON, Bishop's in the ring and clocks him with the belt. PT Starbody sees nothing. Cover your flab chant on RON. Dredd wonder what happened, crowd says cover him, Dredd does and gets this victory handed to him on a silver platter. So much for Witchy's promises. Dredd says going straight to the top, number one, doesn't matter how it's about opportunity, and that's what I took. Wells apparently had hurt ribs before this attack occurred.

WINNER: Dredd Walker pin -> (9-5-1) 1:15 mins. DUD

Tom Arson (4-6) 6'5" 260lbs. St. Louis, MO vs. "Toga" Steve Fisher (2-2) 5'10" 240lbs. Carbondale, IL - Tom Arson asks am I the tallest guy here cause I'm this big and everyone else is that big. Yep, you are. Toga tries to clock him with the plank. That dumb Arson's girlfriend rules chant again. Lockup, to the corner, Toga with a clean break. Lockup, Toga pushes him to the corner, clean break. Arson wants the mike, says none of these people think he's that good and he's a chump, then says he's gonna put on an amateur wrestling display. Arson charges, and gets weakly speared by Toga. Arson tries again, another spear, covers for zero. Arson calls Jimmy "The Brusier" back over for the mike. Arson says he'll bet $25 that he doesn't do that again. Why would you bring your wallet to the ring? The Colonel counts the money up and holds it. Arson charges again, and SPEAR TOGA wins the money. Toga goes for his cash, Arson attack him, referee stole it chant, Arson tries a suplex and is blocked, Toga gets a suplex, bodyslam, clothesline. Arson yanks Toga into the middle turnbuckle. Forearm, choke with the boot, slugs him in the head, hip toss, kick to the head, Russian leg sweep gets two. Irish whip, boot to the head by Arson, one foot cover gets two. Arson applies a rear chinlock. Arson with a bodyslam, goes up to the top, moonsault misses! Has he EVER hit a moonsault on someone? Another spear by Toga Steve, they're in the ropes. Irish whip, double hammer to the chest. Arson is put on the top rope, superplex attempt is blocked, shoveoff, Arson waits for Toga, axe blocked, belly to belly suplex by Toga, charge by Toga to the corner misses, rollup and a handful of shorts gets Arson three! Toga's got the plank, whacks Arson on his rear three times. A kid threw Mountain Dew on Arson's back.

WINNER: Tom Arson pin -> (5-6) 8:30 mins. **

Whoa they added this one in at the last minute! Here's the roster in the match: Eric Logan, Earl Grissom, El Diablo Silverado, Stan Sallinger, Jason Wells, Sage Ramsey, Toga Steve, New World Quinten, Dredd Walker, Michael Shard, LPC, Steven Bishop, Anonymous, and Tom Arson. That's a 14-man battle royal. Michael Shard does a double high five with Arson, then a low one with Shard. Everyone goes at it, QT is slingshotted in, RON is knocked to the grass, Eric Logan throws Michael Shard out for the first elimination. Anonymous with a slam on Stan. Sage hits Earl, Toga hits Dredd, Arson hits Logan, a kid throws water at Shard, Dredd teases going after Shard, Toga chops Arson, Kidd DDTs Wells, Anonymous clotheslines Stan Sallinger over the top which I didn't see the first time. QT kicks EDS, RON was brought in the ring, Toga clotheslines Arson over the top for the third guy out. RON is getting mauled in the corner by Grissom. Toga Steve goes sailing over the top on a missed charge at Logan, EDS is tossed out by Dredd, Anonymous tosses out LPC, RON escapes, Shard attacks EDS outside, the tag champs take out Anonymous, QT takes Earl out, Logan with a crossbody on Michael Shard from the top to the grass eliminates himself, fight outside, Sage pitches Dredd over the top. Billy Morgan is out and slams Logan into the door, EDS bangs Tank and Morgan's heads together, Kidd throws Wells out after a low blow, Wells attacks RON, Kidd goes outside and attacks Wells, Sage and Quinten are in the ring still. Wells throws Kidd back in. NWQ clotheslines Kidd out, finds Sage is in the ring and begs off, Guy Smith runs in the ring and hits Sage with the belt! He throws Sage over the top and bangs his hip against the apron hard! Kidd takes a parting kick on him. Then QT jumps over the top and the referee declares Guy Smith the winner??? That's a crock! He didn't start the match with everyone else so he shouldn't be allowed in when there's just two guys left! BLEH!

WINNER: "Alpha Male" Guy Smith -> (11-5) 3:30 mins. N/A

Battle royals are usually not rated. Smith with the mike, Sage is hurt on the outside. Smith says he figured that everyone came to say him and when Witchy says there was going to be a battle royal he decided to win it. He brags about beating up Scotty Cash, and beating Real World Jeremy. They're sitting close by. Smith runs through a list as RWJ and Cash come to the ring. He calls for security, he's gonna have to kill two more losers, gives them three counts to leave. One, two, three! Guy gets punched by both men, RWJ with a shot with the crutch, then breaks the metal crutch over his back! Witchy is out here. RWJ says July 26th, he's got some answering to do. RWJ still got that knee injury and only has one crutch left. Witchy wants to talk to Cash then prances to the back. Show is over.

The Verdict: Nothing spectacular but considering the high heat and humidity everyone was pretty much having to tone it down so they don't suffer heat exhaustion. For the next show on 7/26/2K3, it's gonna be Eric Logan vs. Michael Shard and Tom Arson vs. Dredd Walker in the third round. Looks like the cult will be the ones getting the tag title shot against Sage & Wells, but it's pretty unclear who will get the heavyweight title shot. Real World Jeremy is the #1 contender again, but he's got a knee injury. El Diablo Silverado is #2, but it's not likely he'll get the shot given past history, so it looks to be Scotty Cash again who's the #2 ranked CI Title contender.