This rap sheet is posted in http://www.newmidwest.com/forum, news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup that many wrestling organizations could utilize to spread info about their shows but don't, and the archive of all the ones I've written are stored in http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet.

Now I should take the time to cover the fuss that went on in July. If you followed the activity on the NMW forum board you would know that there’s a mole hunt going on. How it started though requires a bit of back-story. Few months ago there was a brutal hardcore match between LPC and Steven Bishop that saw the use of a staple gun. I’ve never been a fan of using weapons like this during a match and complained loudly that this was not the road I wanted to see traveled for multiple reasons. As a result I was getting conflicting messages as to whether the staples were actually used in the gun. One person in the match said they used the staples, the victim had the marks on his head that a staple could had been implanted there, but another person said the staples weren't actually used. Some indy wrestlers DO use staples though, but I highly do not recommend the practice of using a staple gun during a match, or a variety of other weapons like glass light tubes. Advancing the story from there, the idea of a rib was pitched to me as the mystery mole would feed me some insider info and then I would rely the stuff in creative ways. For a couple of months I was doing this, a bit guilty that I may be doing something I shouldn't do but went along anyway cause I never play pranks hardly. As things went along, I inserted elements from the ABC show "The Mole" and invited readers to help figure out who the mole was. Someone got mad though and did a spectacular fake-out claiming to have sent mail to the employer of the mole and including the so-called mail. It was never sent, I sent my own mail asking to ignore it then the webmasters had to jump in to horsewhip the fake-out artist. I was ready to end the rib right then and there but amazingly the admins wished to keep going with the mole hunt. No harm was done so no foul. The contest will be ending soon, right now a couple of people are certain who the mole is and it's time to move on.

Good gosh, a pair of FRESHMEN state congressmen in my home state are proposing "warning labels" on professional wrestling shows. This proposal came about because a couple of STUPID kids tried doing some wrestling moves and ended up paralyzing someone for life by doing a piledriver in Naperville. IL State Crime Commission Director Jerry Elsner, state reps. Kevin Joyce (D) and Paul Froelich (R) want to have a disclaimer read before the start of a live show and TV that pro wrestling is not a competition sport and all the wrestling action is set up like a ballet dance by steroid-induced freaks. Umm, yeah. If someone wants to be a pro wrestler real bad, just enroll at a wrestling training school. I also want a warning label placed on EVERY liberal Democrat, that reads "vote for this left-wing wacko at your own risk of your wallet and way of life". I also want a warning label put on every environmentalist wacko that torches SUV dealerships that reads "supporting these maniacs can result in yourself being forced to WALK as your own form of transportation." And I also want a warning label put on local WMAY liberal talk show host Jim Leach that reads: "DANGER: Odumba Bin Leach, the human pit-wussy christaphobic hatemonger of the Jim Qaida network is a weapon of mass DISTORTION and should be ABSOLUTELY AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS for the sake of your personal sanity!"

My attendance of NMW shows is going to be interrupted next month as I will be going on vacation out of state and missing "Breakdown" (unless I can convince someone to loan/rent me a tape), so if someone wishes to step up and be the guest writer of the Rap Sheet next month I shall be taking applications to fill the slot in my absence.

This is a WEEKEND of wrestling, as this Rap Sheet will cover two shows, held Saturday night and Sunday afternoon making this report one of the longest I've ever done. I once again served as a volunteer cameraman at the freebie Sunday show in Edinburg, where weather conditions were a LOT better than they were last time, with outdoor temperatures in the low 70s. Last time a show was done outside, it was in the 90s with humidity in the 60s and heat indexes up to 110.

The new PWI 500 is out, and not one NMW wrestler is on the list! (Boooooooooo!!!)

Your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne, your referees are PT Starbody and James Welden. This time I sit close to the commentary table so I hear them chat about the matches, only to have Rick Weities get on my case a few times during the night for various things.

The show starts a little different this time with a video on the "titantron" with Stan Sallinger and Eric Logan taped earlier in the day, Stan is wearing a clubbers outfit and says something about his movie career that appears to upset Logan. What was THAT all about? First interview of the night, "Alpha Male" Guy Smith, Emily Darling and Witchy Watson make their way to the ring and the "All Female" chant hits right away. Witchy admits she was little harsh for firing Rip Mystic's butt and realizes the company is Rip Mystic's baby. She says he can't be here tonight but has a surprise. Live via "satellite" is Rip Mystic and up comes a graphic of Mystic with swine in the background. The voice of Rip is some lameo imitation of South Park's Cartman. Guy asks how he's feeling and the voice says he feels like a chainsaw and laughs maniacally. The voice says he sucks, Guy is glad to hear him admit it and asks if he has anything to say. The voice says he didn't start NMW it was all Guy Smith, the voice was the first champ and it was a mistake. He sucks so bad he sucks more than a vacuum cleaner and a hole in the space shuttle. Finally this crap is interrupted by RWJ's music and the voice actually starts singing and humming to the music after it's cut off. The voice says hey Jeremy you look so good, how you doing, Jeremy you suck, you don't suck as much as me but you totally suck, the only difference between you and me is that I am a chainsaw. Jeremy pulls the plug. Witchy wants to know why RWJ is out here, RWJ says Guy's been running away from him since January. He has the chance to right every wrong you and your tramp boss have done. Guy calls RWJ and the crowd losers. He says he knows he can beat you at any time. We interrupt with an All Female chant. Guy wants us all to shut up or he'll slap everyone. RWJ says that's 200 people calling him a XXXXX. RWJ says the only reason he's been able to get over on me is because of Witchy, Doug Fraze and his no good brother. Witchy says he owes him one, RWJ leaves, Guy wants him back out. Witchy owes him one for what happened last month between him and Stan Sallinger but she can't stay and babysit. So she is gonna have the man who been by her side be the special guest enforcer, but she won't name who it is right now. She blows kisses to everyone in the crowd.

"New World" Quinten Tyler (1-1) 5'11", 230lbs. Denver, CO & "Danger" Doug Fraze (1-3) 6'6" 275lbs. Chicago, IL (1-0) w/ Emily Darling vs. Sage Ramsey (5-3) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL & Jason Wells (3-5) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO (5-1-2) - Seems the newbie team think they can tackle the best team in NMW. I hastily do up a sign that reads "Fat Fraze" since that's what Scotty Cash has been calling him. To make up for that, I propose the team of Fraze & Quinten call their team "Dangerous New World". Charge into the ring, spinebusters for the heels, double forward Russian leg sweep. Fraze is gotten rid of leaving Quinten against Wells. Clothesline Wells, legdrop gets two. Slam Wells, tag Sage, leg drop 2x. Pumphandle suplex Sage, pair of backbreakers into a side slam. Tag Wells, whip side slam, splash gets one broken up by Fraze. Suplex Wells, Vader bomb gets two. Tag Sage, double whip double hip toss. Wells knocks Fraze off, slam Sage, legdrop gets two. Chop Sage, the gloves comes off, hard slap on the chest of NWQ. Tag Wells, whip clotheslines miss, elbow Wells. Boot rake, DDT Wells gets two. Tag Sage, kick of the leg, elbows to the head, punch, slam, pair of elbows gets a two count. LOW BLOW NWQ and a DDT. Finally NWQ tags Doug Fraze and Scotty Cash's music hits. Doug directs his attention toward Cash who's got the stun gun and zaps him in the rear, Doug chases him to the back. Sage with a splash in the corner on NWQ, tag Wells, double powerbomb gets three. Extended total squash. Wells goes to the top rope and lands a moonsault on NWQ for good measure. Celebration has begun in the ring while Emily tends to her fallen man. Jason takes the Fat Fraze sign to the commentary table to rub it in some more.

WINNERS: Sage Ramsey & Jason Wells pin -> (6-1-2) 9 mins. **½

A video airs on the titantron with LPC and Dredd Walker where LPC knows Dredd's upset about losing the Alexis Homeier Memorial Tournament and says he set up the tag title match against the cult to make up for it. He asks if he's gonna be focused on the match and Dredd in a sharp voice says he's as focused as he needs to be. Uh oh...this is not good news. Stan Sallinger then comes out in a clubbers outfit then joins the commentary team.

"The Trendsetter" Tom Arson (5-7) 6'5" 260lbs. St. Louis, MO vs. "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (6-6-0-1) 5'10" 170lbs., Rushville, IL - If I heard that "Tom Arson's Girlfriend Rules" chant one more time I'm gonna SCREAM! In the CI title chase, Grissom is now ranked #1 and Arson is ranked #4. I proposed that the winner of this match get a title shot against Morgan on Sunday, but that didn't happen. Irish whip boot, flying headscissors Earl, spinning neckbreaker. Tom trips him, whip reverse splash, monkey flip Earl. Tom goes out, Earl with an apron smash, stair smash. Arson punches, whip clothesline, slam, cheap cover gets two. Slugaway in the corner, whip side slam Arson gets two. Choke Arson, butterfly armbar with a knee in the back. Rear chinlock, kick, whip boot to the head, one foot cover gets ONE. Arson whip Earl hits a DDT off an attempted tilt-a-whirl slam, small package gets Earl two. Oklahoma roll gets two. Tom hits a neckbreaker, Russian leg sweep gets two. Elbow drop, leg drop Arson gets two. Backbody drop Earl. Arson with the Stun Gun, rear chinlock. Whip mule kick Earl, spinning leg neckbreaker gets two. Earl to the top rope, crossbody but Tom rolls through and pins him, pulling the pants for extra leverage. Match was a little better than their last meeting.

WINNER: "The Trendsetter" Tom Arson pin -> (6-7) 7:50 mins. ***

Stan Sallinger heads to the ring and has a proposal for Earl. He's getting offers through his agent for movie roles because of his performance in Legally Blonde 2 (hey you aren't the ONLY one in that movie!) and he needs a sidekick. I thought Eric Logan was his sidekick? Earl appears to have turned it down, as Tom Arson's girlfriend pays me a visit and gets on my case for shouting "Tom Arson's girlfriend DROOLS" in response to that irritating chant made by the forum personally known as "Untouchable".

"The Feature Presentation" Johnny Mac (debut) 6'0" 223lbs. Malibu, CA (Hamptons) vs. "Pocket Rocket" Eric Marx (debut) 5'5" 160lbs. New Orleans, LA - Both these guys wrestle for the Extreme Wrestling Federation, Lunatic Wrestling Federation, Maniak Enterprise Wrestling and a bunch of other places. Johnny Mac is the current MEW North American Champ. Marx is apparently the Prime Time Wrestling Midwest champ, though PTW has never ran a show since it's debut. Marx was LWF tag champs with Strychnine before spitting up with him while still holding the belts. Johnny Mac immediately gets negative reactions from the crowd. This is a heavyweight vs. middleweight match. Eric Marx mimic's Michael Shard by laying on the top rope, Mac tries to do the same thing and falls off. Slap Marx, lockup clean break. Lockup, to the corner Marx climbs up while holding the lockup and gets armdragged off. "Who ARE these guys?" Baseball slide drop kick sends Mac outside. Slugfest, Marx whip springboard crossbody gets two. Mac out again, Marx with a suicide flip dive. Toss in, clothesline Mac. Rake of the face, forearm shots, Mac to the top, Marx knocks him off with a forearm shot. Whip tornado DDT Marx, chops in the corner, drop kick Marx against the corner, ten punches in a row. Marx goes for a move and is blocked, Mac LOW BLOWS Marx using the ropes after shoving the ref. Side belly to belly suplex by Mac but he slips and nearly gets pinned. Slug by Mac, whip sleeper Mac. Marx goes outside to break it, Marx to the top but is caught, Mac is shoved off and Marx hits a missile drop kick for two. Flying kick, Marx goes for a flatliner but Mac hooks the ropes then uses them to get a two count on a pin. Mac freaks out that he didn't win it right there. Chop Mac, kick Marx, superkick Eric Marx gets two. A fight ensues, whip clothesline misses, Mac tosses Marx who lands on the apron, shoulderblock, Marx hits a springboard flying neckbreaker for the pin!

WINNER: "Pocket Rocket" Eric Marx pin -> (1-0) 12:25 mins. ***½

Strychnine (debut) 6'2" 235lbs. Hellboinkya, WI vs. "Rather Charming" Bradley Stephens (2-2) 6'0" 225lbs. Las Vegas, NV - Strychnine also spelled as Stryc-9, wrestles for a number of Chicago area feds, including the EWF and LWF, but he is also the current MEW World Enterprise Champ. Stephens has been MIA the past couple of months and colored his hair a platinum blonde. Stryc-9 is a big muscular man who wears black tights with his name on the back. Lockup, takedown Stryc-9...ugh, I'll just refer to him as S9 for the rest of this. Lockup, headlock S9, armbar, takedown. Lockup armbar S9, whip hiptoss, kick. Irish whip arm drag, clothesline sends Brad out. S9 chops outside, apron smash, toss in. S9 with a hiptoss gets two. S9 whip back body drop gets two. S9 slugs away, whip to the corner, forearm to the head, slam, legdrop, monkey flip. S9 gets rope crotched, a shot from Stephens sends him outside. Brad with a rail drop, elbow back in the ring gets two. Whip side slam by Stephens gets two. Brad chops him, S9 flips him around and chops HARDER. Whip double chop S9. S9 goes up, but gets caught, Stephens tries a superplex but is blocked, second attempt succeeds for two. Leg drop gets two. Brad with a choke on the ropes, whip clothesline, slam. Brad misses an elbow from the 2nd rope, whip reversed S9 misses a clothesline, Brad catches him with an elbow. Monkey flip from the corner, side elbow from the 2nd rope S9. Jawbreaker S9, fireman's carry into a facebuster gets two. Some moves are blocked, S9 with a sunset flip gets two. S9 goes for a pedigree but Brad blocks it, then pins S9 with his feet on the ropes. Bah, Brad didn't deserve to win this one, good thing this wasn't a title match. Someone called this the WORST match of the night. Are they CRAZY???

WINNER: "Rather Charming" Bradley Stephens pin -> 12:05 mins. ***¾

Toga Steve comes out for an interview with a St. Louis Rams bag. He has the mike. He says everyone thinks they have what it takes to be in Sigma Omega Beta, and described how happened to former members. Someone's been following him around wanting to be in SOB I got what it takes. He's tired of the talking, he wants him to show him why he thinks he's an SOB. Sign: "Title Shot or Guy's a Wuss" for Toga Steve. Out comes a blonde-headed kid with a six-pack of Miller Lite. He tosses Toga Steve a beer but he drops it. Lots of cat-calling from the crowd. Toga says he's been a thorn in his side for the last six months. Untouchable shouts he's an "SOB". He's gonna give him a shot tonight that he's worthy, and I finally realize who it is, it's the NMW forum personality known only as "Kaboom #2"! Toga says if he's gonna be with SOB he has to have some kind of athletic talent. Toga reaches into the bag and pulls out a football. He says can you catch a football, he tosses the football and LOW BLOW KICKS HIM! BOOOOO!!! He claims he got a twitch, my fault. He says to try this again, stand way back, he throws the ball then SPEARS "Kaboom #2"! He says he's gotta be ready for that, he plays tough D. "Pass interference!" He's gonna give him one more shot and that's it, he throws the ball way high but the kid doesn't attempt to catch it expecting another attack. You can't catch a football, you're skin and bones and hands him a bottle with a live goldfish! He wants him to swallow the thing whole. Oh gosh no. He drinks it, fish and all. That's sick. The PETA people will be beating down their doors tomorrow. Toga says there's one more thing in his bag, you kid assume the position. He pulls out the frat plank, teases a whip, but gives him a big wedgie, then an inverted swinging neckbreaker! "Kaboom #2" has just suffered a hazing! By the way, I had NO desire to join any fraternity during my college years. Toga says he'll kick himself later, but gets him up and he's got a lot of work to do with him, so we're going back to the frat house. That was sick swallowing a live fish, they should be in a fish bowl not somebody's stomach. After the show was over someone was peddling more live goldfish to swallow. I don't care for the part of "Fear Factor" where you eat gross things--the show would be better without it.

NMW Tag Team Championship
The NEW Cult of RON (2-0) Kincaid, IL - Don't call me "The Khaos Kidd" no more Steven Bishop (2-7) 5'7" 200lbs. & The anonymous cult member has NOW been identified as "The Apostle Jakob" (0-1) 5'11" 252lbs. vs. Lucious P. Cotrain (5-3) 5’10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious" & Dredd Walker (10-6-1) 5'11" 210lbs. "Purgatory" (0-1) - Well after one of the Anonymous cult member's friends blurted out the name of this guy I declared that from that day forward I would refer to him as the Apostle Jakob. I've never seen a non-masked wrestler go for this long wanting to remain completely anonymous as their ring gimmick name, but there's firsts for everything. RON runs his mouth, but the crowd drowns him out. He asks how he won the belts, it's all with VD. His vision and his direction got him the tag belts. LPC didn't want his VD, Dredd says he already had VD, but RON didn't see any. He mocks them like crazy cause they didn't have their own belts. He says Dredd is upset and a little scared of him. LPC comes out, has a new ring outfit and has colored his hair red. Dredd and Bishop start, Dredd with a kick but he tags LPC immediately. LPC slugs away, clothesline, armbar, Dredd refuses to tag, LPC tags Dredd anyway. Armbar Dredd, tag LPC, double axe handle, side suplex, kickaway in the corner. LPC tries to tag out but Dredd refuses again. Rake of the face by Bishop, suplex. Tag Jakob. Whip clothesline misses, clothesline Jakob, suplex, tag Bishop. Rear chinlock Bishop. Dredd argues with the fans. Bishop with a sleeper hold, LPC gets up at two. Whip hip toss LPC, flying neck snap in both directions. Dredd still won't tag. Whip reverse, sleeper Bishop. Tag Jakob, RON is up on the apron, LPC STUNNER on Bishop, spinebuster on Jakob. Dredd still won't tag so LPC just slaps him on the arm. Dredd comes in clotheslines, whip Jakob with a clothesline. Prof. Philip H. Dempsey comes out with mike in hand and shouts at everyone in the ring. PHD says you wanna talk vision and direction, you made them the tag champs? RON says yeah, so PHD hands him the fat man's belt and declares him the new champ. He asks Dredd he's the first MWA champ, he had a chance to get a title shot and he missed it? When he and Shard took the belt from Rip Mystic and he went nuts, he was the first one to stand up to him, he had focus he had drive. He yells at LPC to back off it doesn't concern him. PHD says you know and he knows it, the only thing he wants is championship gold. The road to the gold is through PHD. PHD asks what will be Dredd, LPC or PHD? Dredd attacks LPC and hits an enzuigiri to the back. The cult pins a helpless LPC.

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS: The NEW Cult of RON pin -> (3-0) 9 mins. *¼

Big letdown this was. I don't get the logic of these people, says if you want your title shot join me, while they're in a title match! Makes no sense, NONE! I bugged Dredd to explain why singles gold is more important than tag gold, but the answers I got made no sense. PHD was asked the same questions, his answers made no sense. And that's ANOTHER team that has broken up in the razor thin tag division.

Michael Shard (7-10) 5'8" 160 lbs. Santa Monica, CA vs. Scotty Cash (5-5) 5'9" 170lbs. 'Yo Mommas House' - Both of these men absolutely cannot afford a defeat here. Cash is on a five match losing streak and Shard is struggling to get himself back up to the .500 mark and not taking that task very seriously. In the CI title chase, Cash is #2 and Shard is #5. Cash is FDIC insured. They mock each other to start, Shard goes into the crowd and has a seat. Back in, lockup LOW BLOW kick by Cash. Atomic drop, inverted atomic drop Cash. Shard with his own inverted atomic drop. They run the ropes, and slide into each other in some sort of horseplay. Doug Fraze comes out, and steals the stun gun! Toss by Shard, some tense amateur wrestling on the mat, Shard rides Cash, forearm Cash. Scotty does a suicide dive onto Fraze. Shard clips the knee on the way back in, Shard with a rake, headlock, snap mare. Cash elbows him and gets a rollup, clothesline, whip powerslam gets two. Cash rides on Shard's back. Kick, slugaway by Cash, choke. Whip splash misses, Shard with a clothesline. Axe shot to the head, snap mare, drop kick on the mat gets two. Whip Shard, Cash hits a Stun Gun, Cash to the top, Doug is back up and grabs him, he shoves him off and hits a crossbody on Shard for two. Powerbomb attempt, Shard pokes the ref in the eye who foolishly got in too close again, Doug jumps in the ring and spears Cash dead. Shard pins him. Doug had to spoil the match for us all, and that was the sixth straight loss for Scotty. Doug Fraze threatens Scotty with the Stun Gun after the match.

WINNER: Michael Shard pin -> (8-10) 9:25 mins. **

"The UNDER Achiever" Billy Morgan (3-4) 5’10" 172lbs. Riverton, IL & JJ Tank (debut) 6'2" 265lbs. Moline, IL w/ Kev G, Cherry Malone vs. El Diablo Silverado (9-6) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL & Eric Logan (7-5) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL - Neither of these two teams have tagged together before. After much goading by the fans on Tank to get in the ring and wrestle in a match instead of just run interference month after month, he finally relents and gets in the ring to wrestle. Kev G has bleached his hair. Logan is wearing silver, while EDS wears an orange shirt. They moonsault their way into the ring. Billy and EDS start. Spoke too soon cause Tank is tagged in. Whip clothesline Tank, leg misses, drop kick EDS, neck snap. Tag Logan. Senton without the flip Logan, EDS comes in to help give Tank a double suplex. Whip, Tank pulls down the rope and Logan goes sailing over. Action then gets too fast to call. EDS with a suicide dive on someone, crossbody Logan gets him caught in a slam. Cherry Malone and Kev G set up a table. Logan whip spinning heel kick on Tank gets two. Logan whip clothesline, Morgan in and clips the knee, pokes EDS. Morgan works on the knee, there was no tag. Morgan stands on the knee and drops his knee. Malone taunts EDS. Knee slam Morgan, tries to apply a figure four and can't do it properly so he does the move the other way and gets it on right. Logan almost pins himself, then turns it over. Billy is out, tags Tank. Whip clothesline Tank, drops elbows across the knee, knee slam. Tag Morgan, works on the knee, whip reverse, Logan is caught on Billy's shoulders but he does a flying headscissors. Morgan tags Tank immediately, Tank slaps EDS, slam on Logan, slugs him, whip to the corner, Logan flips over the top rope, shoulderblock Logan, 217! Cover gets two. Morgan yanks Logan's hair. Whip spinebuster Tank gets two. He walks on him, tag Billy. Morgan just covers but gets ONE. He punches away, slam, tag JJ Tank. Double team punches, double whip, double back body drop over the top rope but Logan lands on the apron, springboard clothesline by Logan. Morgan and Tank drag Logan back to his corner, then swing him by his pants, and crotch him in the post. Morgan with a drop kick off Tank's back to the mat. Tank punches away, whip Logan with a tornado DDT. Malone is on the apron, ref misses the tag, Morgan claps his hands to fake a tag as the ref puts EDS back out. Morgan superkick to the head, then wastes time before covering for two then he pulls him up! STUPID! Tag Tank as Morgan teases EDS. Tank does some more teasing by holding Logan's arm for EDS then pulls it away. Morgan does the same thing, but turns his head and EDS tags himself in. The ref gets squashed by a charging Tank. Logan with a drop kick and 217 off the ring post. EDS whip reverse spear on Morgan, fight with Kev G and Logan, slam Logan. EDS inverted atomic drop, atomic drop, bulldog on Morgan. Logan with another slam on the floor, Tank is down. EDS on top, frogsplash, no ref. Tank breaks up the pin, Tank whip splash in the corner. Logan comes in, kicks Tank and throws him out near the table. Kev G is back up, uppercuts by Tank, Morgan has a chair, Logan's fighting Tank outside, EDS stole the chair, misses Morgan and hits Logan, Tank powerbombs Logan through the table. Morgan with a flying neckbreaker off the middle rope on EDS, ref is tossed in and counts a slow three. I can't believe this. Morgan should be forced to defend under hardcore rules as much as he uses weaponry. Eric Logan is mad, EDS repeatedly says he didn't mean to, they have a hug.

WINNERS: Billy Morgan & JJ Tank pin -> (1-0) 14:30 mins. ***½

NMW Heavyweight Championship
(c)"NMW Alpha Male, MPW Heavy Hitter, Fans All Female" Guy Smith (12-5) 6'0" 255lbs. Rapid City, SD w/ Emily Darling vs. Real World Jeremy (6-3-1) 6'2" 240lbs. Denver, CO - RWJ keeps having to sit out for months at a time cause people keep lynch mobbing him time after time wrecking his knees. Sooner or later RWJ is gonna retaliate by wrecking THEIR knees and make them sit out a couple months for a change. A video presentation is shown on the screen under the "In the End" theme music showcasing the RWJ vs. Guy Smith feud. I shout bring him out here! Someone shouts shut up! Another man asks if I am the special enforcer, I say I wish. The special enforcer for the match is...Bing Westlake! Bing is currently on the 180-day disabled list and hobbles out here using a golf club as a cane. Surprisingly no one does the USA chant at him. Guy gets up in RWJ's face then slaps the belt out of PT Starbody's hands. Lockup shoveoff. Camel Toe chant begins. I shout "Emily's boyfriend drools!" Lockup shove punch to the head, back body drop RWJ gets two. RWJ adjusts his brace, belly to back suplex gets two. RWJ can't stand too well, he puts on a headband, then punches Guy in the corner. Whip RWJ eats a boot, double axe blocked, belly to belly suplex RWJ. Guy bails, Westlake just watches from the outside. RWJ goes out, can't walk too well, Smith uses Emily as a shield. RWJ back in, Guy goes after his knee and tries to get the brace off. RWJ tries to stop him, Guy gets it off and whacks him with it! Stomps the leg, then the jaw, Smith sets the leg on the bottom rope and sits on it. I mock Emily again, but now some stranger comes over to gripe at me. "All right, I only drool in my sleep dammit!" "What are you talking about? Emily's boyfriend is Quinten!" "Ohhhhh...I'm Emily's real boyfriend though." "I'm talking about Quinten! I dunno who you are." "I'm just ****in' with you." "Who are you?" "I'm Emily's boyfriend!" "No I'm not talking about you." "All right." Smith keeps working on the knee. Then Rick Wieties says "You better be careful what you say around here" that gets my attention and I give him a hard stare while he says "turn around, take some pictures!" Geez, EVERYONE is giving me grief tonight. Clothesline Guy. Guy yanks the leg, ankle lock. RWJ gets an elbow off a missed clothesline. RWJ whip, Guy kicks him in the head, then the knee. Now I'm really agitated. Guy slugs RWJ in the corner. Guy has Jeremy on the top, slugs away, goes for a superplex but can't get him over, goes all the way to the top and hit a superplex. Guy crawls over and gets two. Guy whip backbody drop is blocked, small package RWJ gets two. Rollup gets two. Guy clothesline off the ropes, All Female chant. Guy pickup, whip belly to belly suplex, kip-up. Smith argues with the crowd and prances around. Smith whip, RWJ's leg gives out. Smith applies a figure four, RWJ is screaming, but he makes the ropes. Guy puts the figure four on again, third time in a row. RWJ tries to turn it over, and does but Guy's in the ropes. RWJ is up on one knee, kick, goes for the pedigree but it's blocked. Hammerlock, Guy flips him over into a slam, that only gets two. Guy argues with the ref, then goes over to Emily, RWJ gets a shot to the gut, slugs away on Smith. 15 minutes have passed. Starbody tries to break it up, Emily throws powder in the ref's face. Side belly to back suplex. Guy Smith goes and piledrives the referee! Bing Westlake signals for another referee to come out, James Welden. RWJ is up, big spinebuster gets two. Emily tosses a chair in, Guy Smith takes it and smashes it on James Welden's head--and the head of the chair breaks off and goes flying into the crowd! This is why I don't sit in the front row. Smith whacks RWJ with the chair and Bing Westlake refuses to come in and to count it. Smith and Westlake argue, Smith goes after him and tosses him in. Bing refuses to do his bidding, Guy gets in his face, Bing slaps him, Guy shoves him down and just slaps his arm to count but RWJ gets out at two. RWJ yanks his shirt off, KICK WHAM PEDIGREE! Bing counts the pin.

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: Real World Jeremy pin -> (7-3-1) 20:10 mins. ***½

Big shocker, Bing Westlake does an unexpected face turn. The whole locker room empties out to celebrate and hoist RWJ on their shoulders. The beers come flying in for the drink-off.

Moving on to Edinburg the next day...it's raining hard outside! I was worried that they were originally gonna have the ring in front of the community center unsheltered and did not announce a plan in case of rain. But fortunately I got word that the show was going to be held under a pavilion across the street. This also was the weekend the LPGA held its annual State Farm Rail Classic but the final round that was being played Sunday got rained out. With video camera in hand, I set up in a great location on a raised second stage to the left of the ring, with the "locker room" consisting of just a tarp for the wrestlers to emerge from on the other stage. Sitting in the crowd not wrestling are Real World Jeremy, Scotty Cash, and Dredd Walker. Cash apparently suffered an ankle injury, Dredd a hamstring tear as a result of the enzuigiri on his ex-partner and will be out for 30-60 days. James Welden is your referee for this entire show.

Michael Shard (8-10) 5'8" 160 lbs. Santa Monica, CA vs. "The Marvel" Shane Matthews (debut) 190lbs. Springfield, IL - Matthews has a gimmick nickname but I could not discern it as audio was a bit muffled due to the falling rain, but DAYS later someone says his name is "The Marvel" Shane Matthews. Shard mocks Matthews with some pushups. Matthews trips up Shard. Go behind by Shard takedown. Lockup, Shard with a hammerlock, snap mare, Matthews gets out of it, hip toss Shard, snap mare, drop kick Shard to the face. Irish whip drop kick in the chin Shard gets two. Choke on the ropes by Shard. Shard works him in the corner, whip clothesline to the corner, forearm to the head. Shard whip hip toss blocked, Matthews with a hip toss and clothesline, Shard takes a powder and takes a seat next to RWJ and Cash. Matthews chases, Shard with a stomp, neckbreaker, suplex, brainbuster trifecta! Wastes time in covering and only gets two. Shard slugs Matthews down. Shard whip crossbody Matthews gets two. Small package by Matthews gets two. Move by Matthews was botched and Shard takes over with a rake, Shard slugs away, whip reverse sleeper hold Matthews, Shard reverses it, Matthews with a side belly to back suplex and gets two. Shard up, whip reverse dragon screw leg whip. Shard stomps on the leg, Matthews kicks, butterfly powerbomb gets two. I mistakenly thought Welden botched the count but Shard did get a shoulder up. Matthews goes for a tornado DDT but gets shoved off, Michael Shard gets the Cutting Edge Sickle Hold and the submission.

WINNER: Michael Shard submission -> (9-10) 8:40 mins. **½

"Danger" Doug Fraze (1-3) 6'6" 275lbs. Chicago, IL vs. El Pollo Loco (0-2-0-1) 5'9" 140lbs. Hatchling, AL - Lockup, clean break. The rain is REALLY pouring now. We make an attempt to get a KFC chant going to tease EPL. Mismatch! Lockup, Fraze shoves him into a corner. Lockup, Fraze whip clotheslines misses, Loco with a slap. Loco tries a clothesline, flying clothesline knocks him down. Merry chase and Danger nails Loco on the way back in the ring. Fraze whip hip toss and chokes him. Doug with a slam, a second and a sloppy cover gets two. Whip clothesline Fraze. One-foot cover gets one. Suplex Doug, snap suplex, sloppy cover gets two. Crossbody Loco gets two. EPL kicks away for all he's worth. Whip Loco reversed, elbow to the chest. Arm wringer Doug, pumphandle powerslam gets two from a one-hand cover. Fraze whip big side slam gets two. Mocks Cash, LAST RIDE POWERBOMB IT'S ALL OVER!!! One-foot cover but he pulls him up! What does Fraze think EPL is, the buffet table at KFC? Fraze heckles Cash then last rides him again and pins him with one foot finally. Total squash.

WINNER: "Danger" Doug Fraze pin -> (2-3) 7:35 mins. *

"The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (6-7-0-1) 5'10" 170lbs., Rushville, IL vs. JJ Tank (debut) 6'2" 265lbs. Moline, IL w/ Kev G, Cherry Malone - Atomic drop Tank, clothesline. Earl punch, aborts a slam and trips up and drops the legs. Earl goes for the figure four but is kicks off. Kev G chokes Earl on the ropes, holds him for Tank but Earl escapes. Spinning neckbreaker Tank as it rains even harder. Earl works on the leg of Tank. Suplex by Tank gets two. Tank with a scoop slam, running leg drop gets two. Tank whip clothesline, pickup slugaway, Earl with a headbutt, whip clothesline misses, Tank with a DDT. It's raining louder. Tank with a pumphandle slam but Earl gets out, Earl kicked down, Tank goes for the pumphandle slam again and Earl escapes and hits a mule kick. Form of a figure four at a 45-degree angle and Earl gets the submission.

WINNER: "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom submission -> (7-7-0-1) 5:10 mins. *½

El Diablo Silverado (9-6) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL vs. "The Freshman" Matt Boston (debut) 120lbs. Carbondale, IL w/ Toga Steve - And we have our first ever bantamweight wrestler to take on a cruiserweight. Matt Boston is the NMW message forum personality known as "Kaboom #2". Alas I did not catch his gimmick nickname until DAYS later. Lockup, arm wringer EDS. Boston reverses into a hammer, EDS with a headlock, shove bad collision as EDS bumps Boston who's on one knee. Hip toss EDS, whip side slam gets two. EDS whip reverse, springboard clothesline EDS gets two. Whip crossbody Boston gets two. Boston kick DDT gets two. Boston with the ACID DROP/Dudley Dog gets two. Boston whip reverse, EDS with the Juvy Driver gets two. Rain gets louder again. EDS with a big spinebuster into a powerbomb. EDS on the top frogsplash gets three! Toga Steve comes in, a bit dejected that Boston lost and tells him to get outta here.

WINNER: El Diablo Silverado pin -> (10-6) 3:30 mins. *½

NMW Tag Team Championship
The NEW Cult of RON (3-0) Kincaid, IL - Don't call me "The Khaos Kidd" no more Steven Bishop (2-7) 5'7" 200lbs. & The anonymous cult member has NOW been identified as "The Apostle Jakob" (0-1) 5'11" 252lbs. vs. Overthrown President Battlin' Stan Sallinger (0-4) 6'3", 260lbs. Springfield, IL & Eric Logan (7-5) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL (2-2) - RON has his "fat man" title. Bishop and Logan start, spinning neckbreaker into the knee. Side belly to back suplex Bishop. Lockup Bishop hip toss into a neckbreaker! Tag Stan, clothesline, slam, gut wrench slam, whip spinebuster. Tag Logan, a move gets two. Sage and Wells got the tag belts. Logan with a big elbow and a senton. Bing Westlake gave them the belts. Logan spinning heel kick gets two. Logan whip reverse, Jakob gets a knee, suplex Bishop. Tag Jakob, RON on the apron. Jakob with a snap suplex, Bing walks over and hands RON a twinkie. Jakob whip big splash, powerslam gets two. Bing's laughing it up over there. Jakob whip reverse drop kick Logan on the shoulder. Logan flying headscissors, whip reverse, bad crossbody and Jakob slams him to the mat and gets two. Tag Bishop. Kidd with a big chop, another, whip to the corner big splash gets one. Kidd tries a suplex blocked Logan suplex, Northern Lights suplex, side belly to belly suplex, German suplex for the quad-fecta. Sage and Wells are still mocking RON. Tag Stan, tag Jakob. Clotheslines, spinebusters a plenty, Stan overhead toss slam into Jakob. RON on the apron, Stan tags Logan and stands on the apron to argue with RON. Logan wasn't ready but goes after Jakob, whip reversed, Jakob with the Razor's Edge and wins it! ARRGH!!! RON goes for the belts and Sage and Wells throw them on the ground. Logan is not happy with Stan, Logan's had a bad weekend with tag partners, is this ANOTHER team about to break up? Doesn't ANYONE want these tag straps???

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS: The NEW Church of RON pin -> (4-0) 6:55 mins. **½

"New World" Quinten Tyler (1-1) 5'11", 230lbs. Denver, CO w/ "Danger" Doug Fraze vs. Lucious P. Cotrane (5-3) 5’10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious" - LPC has never won a tag match with ANY partner and has stated no more tag team action for him. Lockup and LPC goes for the stunner right away but NWQ flees. Lockup, arm wringer LPC. LPC whip big shoulderbreaker. Stomp to the head, LPC to the second rope, axe to the chest, suplex gets two. LPC whip reverse Doug trips LPC. NWQ with a drop kick to the back then works on LPC's bad knee. Ankle lock, using the ropes for extra torque. NWQ scoop slam, leg drop gets two. Suplex NWQ gets two. Rain's picked up again. Quinten whip spinebuster gets two. NWQ goes for the pedigree but LPC blocks it and goes for the liontamer then a full Boston crab and NWQ makes the ropes. Danger sucks chant. Whip reverse LPC KICK WHAM STUNNER IT'S ALL OVER!!! Bing Westlake calls for the crowd to do one more round of that great chant, Danger sucks. Fraze tries to take a seat and falls on the floor.

WINNER: Lucious P. Cotrain pin -> (6-3) 5:20 mins. **

Tom Arson is next with the mike and claims he's the sexiest man in the "burg" but Eric Logan shows him up. Arson was supposed to wrestle Scotty Cash but is so scared that he claims his ankle hurts. Arson says this town of the burg scares me and he needs protection. He scoffs at Real World Jeremy being an inferior titleholder and brings out Billy Morgan as a tag team partner. Mystery team as the opposition.

Tom Arson (5-7) 6'5" 260lbs. St. Louis, MO & "The UNDER Achiever" Billy Morgan (4-4) 5’10" 172lbs. Riverton, IL w/ Kev G, Cherry Malone & Morgan Security Guard JJ Tank (debut) vs. Jason Wells (3-5) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO & "Toga" Steve Fisher (2-3) 5'10" 240lbs. Carbondale, IL (debut) - Another pair of new teams. Arson and Toga start. Arson slugs away, whip reverse powerslam Toga. Clothesline, Saluki Hammer, tag Wells. Wells punches away, whip Arson jumps over and gets two on a rollup. Side slam Wells, hip toss, spear. Tag Toga, double team suplex. Elbow Toga, two, misses the third. Arson with a rake, forearms, tag Morgan. Punch from the second rope, whip clothesline Billy, elbow to the knee. Toga kicks him off, big slam, headlock takeover. Morgan with a DDT. Morgan tags Arson who apparently wasn't ready and reluctantly gets in. Toga fights Arson, Russian leg sweep by Arson with a "Arson's a wussy chant" pissing him off. Tag Billy, Wells comes in to argue. Suplex Morgan gets two. Morgan to the top, frogsplash gets two. Tag Arson. Double whip, double hip toss, elbow Arson, leg drop gets two. Arson with a choke, pickup clips the knee. Figure four Arson, Morgan and Tank help pull Arson's arms. Tag Morgan, drops knees on Toga's knee. Half crab Morgan, can't bend the knee and Toga gets the ropes. Tag Arson, Arson running drop kick on the bad leg. Arson scoop slam gets two. Arson on the second rope, shows the axe but gets caught belly to belly Northern Lights suplex. Tag Morgan, tag Wells. Arm drags Wells, slams, Tank in the ring, spinebusters, Tank misses a clothesline, LOW BLOW Wells. Arson grabs Wells, Morgan with a drop kick off Tank's back and gets three. Isn't Tank being in the ring a DQ?

WINNERS: Tom Arson & Billy Morgan pin -> (1-0) 11:20 mins. ***

Eric Logan and El Diablo Silverado run out and attack Morgan's men. Kev is posted by EDS. Wells got Cherry. Toga whips Kev G with the paddle. Logan slaps Cherry on the rear. After a group hand raising they stop to exchange words with Danger Doug and NWQ and we get another Danger Sucks chant making him leave. Bing Westlake has the mike and wants to intro the main event. He intros former champ 24-hours removed Guy as "All Female" Guy Smith. NWQ argues with Bing.

"NMW Alpha Male, MPW Heavy Hitter, Fans All Female" Guy Smith (12-6) 6'0" 255lbs. Rapid City, SD vs. Sage Ramsey (5-3) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL - This match has been a long time coming, with Guy interfering in so much of Sage's matches. Real World Jeremy and Scotty Cash stand up to stare at him. Sage gets in Quinten's face on his way out. Guy goes and takes a seat next to his buddies, Sage does as well to mock him. We want Jeremy chant. Guy stalls a bit, lockup, headlock, arm wringer Guy, hammerlock, Sage reverses it. Side headlock Sage, another Danger Sucks chant as Shard and NWQ cover his ears. Shoulderblock Sage gets one, arm drag. Toga, Wells, LPC are mocking Guy like crazy. Whip reverse crossbody Guy but gets powerslammed for two. Sage a scoop and a slam, leg drop gets two. Rain picks up again. Guy whip reverse clothesline Sage, slugs away in the corner. Whip to the corner, Sage eats a boot, Guy misses a clothesline and eats a boot for two. Sage rear chinlock. Guy vs. Tap chant. Sage suplex, elbow, two, misses a third by a mile. Guy stomps his head, legdrop gets two. Guy reverses a hip toss into a neckbreaker and gets two. Guy with a rear chinlock, legdrop gets two. Rear headlock Guy, Sage picks up Guy but does a fireman's carry slam and gets two. Whip reverse drop kick Guy gets two. Guy with a vertical suplex gets two. Guy scissors the head with his legs, looks like a choke to me, shoulders were down but Sage makes the ropes. All Female chant. Guy pickup drops him, Sage with a side belly to back suplex. Sage whip, moves misses, clothesline Guy. Guy with a death valley driver gets two. Rain pours harder. Guy with a sleeper hold on the mat, Sage comes around. Sage up, elbows out, runs the ropes and boots Guy. Sage goes for the chokeslam, Guy blocks it, Sage with a double choke slam gets two and 3/4. Sage with a DDT. Sage goes to the top, Guy trips him, pulls him out with a top rope DDT and that's it!

WINNER: "Alpha Male" Guy Smith pin -> (13-6) 12:30 mins. ***

Geez, why were so many people against seeing this match ever take place? Decent match, hope they face off again sometime. The heels come in to celebrate with Guy but they start kicking Sage and all the faces rush the ring for a massive brawl. After throwing everyone else out, Doug Fraze is ALL ALONE! Scotty Cash threw him in, teases a move off the top but elbows him and everyone counts him down. RWJ gets in the ring, Bing Westlake comes in. RWJ pedigrees Doug and everyone counts a pin. Toga pitches Doug out. NWQ comes to get his partner. Guy has the mike, he reminds us that he won. Sage goes on the back stage and wants to fight some more, steals the belt back for RWJ. Oh my, we got another brawl on the stage. Earl Grissom slugs away on Guy but gets tossed into the wall. Finally Jimmy promotes the next show and thanks us for coming.

Next month's lineup, not a clue. Alas, I'll be missing next month's show. Whomever will be the guest writer for the Rap Sheet, will be. Until next time, bustin' ain't easy but downing a fried pickle is darn tasty!