The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
New Midwest Wrestling - Capital Punishment III
5/22/2K4 - Bradfordton, IL

I miss my first show ever, and all heck breaks loose again...oh wait that happens EVERY month!

Better late than never, this rap sheet is posted at http://rap-sheet.tripod.com and news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info Note that I have for the first time ever missed an NMW show, this particular month I was vacationing in the Milwaukee area to attend a video game convention, as covered in Brew City Wrestling 5/21/2K4 edition of the Rap Sheet.

I have no witty comments to make since I write this a week before the next show so I'll save it 'til then.

Doug Dennis the owner of the USA Sports Center comes to the ring first. He talks about the zoning fight over the Club 10 teen center. One very cranky malcontent neighbor who you'd never want to move next door to you, by the name of Fraase has been having his brother who sits on the Sangamon County Board push hard to shut this place down. They are desperately trying to get the events at the sports center restricted to as small at possible cause they hate teenagers, rock music and wrestling. I attended a board meeting in the middle of the month following this show, and action was delayed thirty days. So the showdown over Club 10 and NMW will occur in middle of July.

Your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne. Your commentary team is [NOT me] Jack McCloud and Rich Wieties.

Billy Morgan (8-8) 5"10" 173lbs. Riverton, IL w/PHD vs. Jason Wells (6-7-1) 6'0" 230lbs. Kansas City, MO- 9:35 Wells with the headlock, Billy puts his feet on the ropes and gets dropped face first. Wells whip spinebuster gets two. Wells suplex gets two. Wells whip corner, charges and splash. Bearhug Wells, eye poke Morgan. He slugs away, whip reverse back body drop Wells. Wells Vader Bomb gets two. Billy stomps away, chop in the corner, Wells turns it around and chops away. Wells whip powerslam gets two. Wells small package gets two. Wells whip PHD pulls Morgan out. Wells goes to chase, Morgan in and stomps Wells. Morgan PUNTS, snap mare, legdrop gets two. Chinlock Morgan, elbow gets two. Chinlock, elbow gets two again. Another elbow misses, Wells clothesline, slam, WHIPLASH Fireman's carry slam. Wells goes up top moonsault hits, PHD up, Madman runs out, chokeslam Madman twice, the ref is being held by his shirt. ONE FOOT cover Morgan wins it. HOGWASH! Just SLAP PHD so he lets go next time Ricky!

WINNER: "Overachiever" Billy Morgan pin -> 7:20 mins. **¼

PHD has the mike and runs his mouth that they said Morgan couldn't do it, he says he's "underachiever". Oh Scotty Cash has another mike and does the talking! Hot Boyz comes out, PHD is screaming it's not his mike time, well the Hot Boyz run them out of the ring. Cash says the fans didn't want to hear PHD, but they wanted to chant Billy sucks instead. He calls PHD hungry hungry hippo.

Hot Boyz (1-0) "Yo Mamma's House" - Scotty Cash (9-10-1) 5'9" 170lbs. & Benz (0-0-0-1) 6'3" 230lbs. vs. Mister Mister (debut) - "Mr. Hollywood" Stan Sallinger (2-5) 6'3" 260lbs. Hollywood Hills CA & Mr. Elite (1-2) 6'1" 220lbs. Minneapolis, MN - McCloud calls Mister Mister a bad 80's band, I don't quite agree, they had some good hits. Benz and Stan start, Stan then gets on his cell phone (WHY? Don't you have VOICE MAIL with your cell service?) and Elite gets in. Elite with a takedown, another, Benz gets to the rope. Another lockup, leg takedown Elite and paintbrushes his head. Benz with a KO punch, Benz whip to the corner, reverse DDT, tag Cash. Hot Boyz slug away, Elite tags Stan. Stan wants the strength test, Stan slugs him, whip clothesline misses, Cash clothesline. Cash headlock, suplex, Benz pitches a cell phone to Cash and he sits on him for two. Cash splash gets one. Cash whip dropkick, Cash goes up flying crossbody gets two. Tag Benz, Benz can't lift Stan, tag Elite. He pounds away, spinning neckbreaker. "Frost Mini-Wheats" claims he misses me a little bit, then calls me a dork. Elite with the sickle hold but doesn't hold onto it, front chinlock, gets to Cash but Stan is holds the ref up. Stan in with illegal switch, Stan slam, elbow gets two. Stan misses the clothesline, Benz slam, he holds his neck. Stan slugs away, whip clothesline. Elite is now to be referred to as "Mr. Illegal". Tag Elite, rear chinlock, legdrop gets two. Goes back to the chinlock, legdrop gets two. Elite wrenches the neck, Benz elbows out, double clothesline. Benz tags Cash, Cash calls Stan on the phone (HA!) to distract him and Cash suplexes Elite to prevent the tag. I think I better get Stan's number so I join in the distracting. *smirk* Cash whip clothesline gets two. Benz in, double inverted suplex, Benz with the travsity. Morgan runs out, Cash goes after Morgan. Stan swinging full-nelson slam, Elite one arm cover wins it. Oh BAH!

WINNERS: Mister Mister pin -> (1-0) 11:15 mins. **¾

NGW Hardcore Champion Sinnister (debut) 6'1" 300lbs. Sinn City vs. Chris Hazard (debut) 6'0" 235lbs. Panama City Beach, FL - This is non-title. Okay these two guys are from Next Generation Wrestling in Peoria, and I WANTED TO CONTACT the people commentating this month beforehand to give them some show prep material so they'd KNOW something about these guys, but Rich Weities is practically a phantom, NO ONE knows how to contact this guy. And now I'm gonna have to hit him with a pop-quiz to make him look bad. Sinnister has the biggest holes in his ears and a nosering. Lockup, armwringer Sinnister, headlock. Hazard gets the headlock, shoveoff, hip toss Sinnister. Hazard armwringer, hammerlock, headlock, Sinnister elbows out, Hazard walks into a slam. Lockup, armwringer Hazard, he slugs away, whip clothesline. Sinnister goes out for a breather. Lockup again, Sinnister pounds away, whip reverse, hip toss Hazard. Chris charges and drives that shoulder in the gut three times, snap mare, second rope elbow, elbows get two. Sinnister with the rake, chop, whip, axe to the chin. Sinnister whip spinebuster gets two. McCloud makes the comment that Rich talks about Crimefighter so much. Sinnister dumps Hazard out, into the rail! Toss in, Sinnister fireman's carry into a spinning reverse slam, called the Charon's Toll! It gets TWO! Hazard comes to live, whip clothesline, another, Hazard slam, he goes up, Sinnister shoves the ref into the ropes and crotches Hazard. Sinnister goes up for a superplex and HITS IT! Cover gets two. Sinnister goes for his move again but is outta gas, Hazard SPEAR! Hazard goes up, flying elbow and wins it.

WINNER: Chris Hazard pin -> (1-0) 9:55 mins. **½

Guy Smith interview, Smith says he Danger Doug was riding his coattails and Fraze ain't dangerous at all. Smith talks about tonight's match and says Fraze is nothing without him. Doug's year is up. Fraze has a mike, he says yeah he was picked as his right hand man and made him who he was. He's been thinking, Smith thinks he knows him, he calls Cherry "Yoko Ono", and found someone to be in his corner to keep Yoko out and brings out Rian Cruz!

"Alpha Male" Guy Smith (17-9) 6'0" 255lbs. Rapid City, SD w/ Cherry Malone vs. Danger Doug Fraze (5-9-1) 6'6" 270lbs. Chicago, IL w/ Rian Cruz - Rian has been training to be a wrestler for quite a while now so we'll have a women's division to some extent. Rian and Cherry get into a spat right away and the men have to get them apart. Lockup, they break. Lockup, and Danger muscles him out to the floor. Finally an "All Female" chant. Fraze slingshots Smith in, McCloud forgot who Rian Cruz was already. Headlock Fraze, Smith shoveoff, but Fraze gets the headlock again. Smith out, hip toss Fraze gets one. Shoulderblock Fraze gets two. Fraze shoulderblocks, then charges and topples out to the floor. Smith tosses Fraze in, armwringer, yanks the arm on the top rope. Smith with a hammerlock behind the head. Fraze flips him, Smith drop kick gets two. Smith back to the hammerlock. Fraze gets out, elbow Smith for two. Guy goes back to the armbar, Fraze up, whip clothesline gets two. Armdrag Smith, back to the armbar. Fraze gets up, pumphandle powerslam gets two. Smith clothesline gets two and goes back to the hammerlock. Fraze gets up but is hit with the LITTLE INSPIRATION Smith gets two! Smith whip reverse, hurled into the corners three times, splash, drop toe hold, Fraze whip back body drop gets two. Fraze is outta gas, Smith boot, he goes up, but Fraze pulls Smith off for the RAZORS EDGE for two. Fraze charges with a boot, Smith dodges and Ricky the Ref gets hit. Oh dear, he was wearing glasses too. LPC and Stan run out but then run away once Doug turns on him. Cherry with the LOW BLOW, Rian jumps in, LPC argues with Rian, Cherry gets hit with an atomic drop, Stan grabs Rian, she fights him off, Rian clothesline on Cherry. Fraze up, whip chokeslam. Cherry hits a clothesline on Rian on the floor. Rian gets up wanting more. Stan gets taken out by Fraze, LPC in KICK WHAM STUNNER on Fraze. Smith turnaround moonsault wins it. Sheesh, so much BS at the end of this.

WINNER: "Alpha Male" Guy Smith pin -> (18-9) 16:25 mins. ***¼

Central Illinois Championship
(c)"The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (10-8-0-1) 5'10" 170lbs. Rushville, IL vs. Lucious P. Cotrain (9-6) 5'10" 230lbs. Land of Lucious - A little note, LPC brought out a new girl dubbed "The Perfect Speciman". Because she was in the corner of 4GQ and specifically the "Alpha Male" Guy Smith, the poor girl is the latest to be ensnared by the "Alpha Male Curse". What is the "Alpha Male Curse"? It is a curse that falls upon any girl that comes to NMW to represent Guy Smith, and after one or two months of being in his corner she disappears. Previous victims include: "Hot Valet" Jamie Homeier (of which a yearly tournament is held in rememberance of Alexis), Misty Matthews (twice), Emily Darling (though she's been attending shows as a spectator lately), and now the Perfect Speciman aka Bethany. Trying to break the curse is Cherry Malone, though she started under Billy Morgan so maybe she's immune for that reason. Lockup, LPC headlock, Earl shoveoff, LPC shoulderblock, hip toss Earl, armdrags. LPC whip Earl sunset flip gets two. LPC bails out, Weities trashes Jason Devall again for keeping LPC from getting that title shot back in January. Lockup, headlock Earl, hammerlock, rake LPC. LPC slam gets one. LPC whip clothesline, backbreaker and holds it then covers for two. Rear chinlock LPC, Earl up, whip clothesline. Dropkick Earl, LPC yanks him into the bottom turnbuckle. LPC shoulderblocks, backbreaker and holds it, then gets two. Earl whip drop toe hold, double legdrop, slaps him, Earl goes up top, bulldog gets two. Earl KO punch, LOW BLOW LPC, LPC whip spinebuster gets two. LPC tries for a crab but small package Earl gets two. LPC punches away, ab stretch, Earl tosses him over, hip toss. Earl slam, he holds his back. Earl whip reverse clothesline LPC. LPC gets the Boston Crab but he's not sitting down with it, Earl gets to a rope. LPC whip reverse knee, spinning neckbreaker Earl gets two. Earl whip, KICK WHAM STUNNER LPC gets TWO! Earl LOW BLOW! LPC catches the spinebuster, LPC gets the liontamer and Earl taps. Match looked sloppy with moves that had not enough impact behind them. *shrug*

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: Lucious P. Cotrain submission -> (10-6) 10:50 mins. *

Earl takes the belt then puts it on LPC's shoulder and shakes hands, but LPC whacks him with the belt to show he's a poor sport. The IL State Police drop by and whine about people parked in the grass. The people with Gardner Township are bunch of pricks. When election day comes around, VOTE THESE GUYS OUT!

Retard RON comes out with Jakob and MS Madman and has the mike, and welcomes us all to his service. He's got one chunk of the book left, he complains about Steven Bishop, and says a new version of his book is coming. RON says he's got a new partner for Jakob, and claims Rip Mystic is the newest member of the cult. Rip isn't here though, cause he has a "toothache". Uhhhh...yeah. RON says not to mention Steven Bishop ever again. Then a video hits the wall, oh it's Khaos Kidd flashbacks! And then it switches over to scenes of a graveyard and the Undertaker's music plays! It says the Khaos will rise again! Cute! RON acts scared and gives Jakob the night off. RON says Madman fighting Tricky Dick shouldn't fight alone and says he found him a partner and calls out Matt Boston. Oh gosh, I told him I NEVER wanted to see Boston vs. Madman, cause it would be a massarce. Sigh, and it's a handicap match which will count for nothing in the standings again.

Handicap Match
Mississippi Madman Don Jackson (2-1-2) 6'2" 350lbs. Olive Branch, MS w/ RON vs. Tricky Dick Moore (3-3) 5'10" 180lbs. Beaverdale, PA & "The Freshman" Matt Boston (2-4) 5'8" 135lbs. Carbondale, IL - Man they can't decide WHICH music to use for the MS Madman, well here's my advice, the FIRST song he used incites more fear than the cult's music by far, and fits the mad a lot better. Boston and Moore slug away on Madman but gets thrown off and they bail. Weities says it was the longest promo he's ever heard and he's glad someone is coming back, no not Khaos Kidd, it'd be me and McCloud is outta here dork. Uh yeah, McCloud MAY be back next show but Weities will be gone instead. Boston sneaks up and taps his shoulder and sneaks around Madman to irritate him. Tricky gets in, slugs away, Madman misses clotheslines, LOW BLOW Tricky, tag Boston. Boston charges and gets clotheslined. Madman slam, kick, kickdown, elbow misses. Boston up top, crossbody is caught, rib breakers times three and holds a backbreaker vice over his knee. Madman BIG SPLASH and he pulls him up!!! THIS IS WHY I DID NOT WANT TO SEE THAT MATCHUP! Lightweight vs. Superheavyweight! Madman KICK to the gut. Madman pickup, KO punch. Madman one foot choke. Madman puts on the bearhug, then throws him down before he's counted out. Madman chops Boston, whip corner Madman splash MISSED. Boston dropkick, he rolls to Tricky and tags him in. Tricky takes one look then BAILS ON BOSTON! Madman double chokeslam and he PULLS HIM UP AGAIN! Madman another chokeslam and he pulls him up! Madman gorilla press, and FINALLY Jason Wells runs out and chokes him out with an ether rag to end this massarce. Sigh, I didn't like it when Spike Dudley had to fight the Big Show. I probably would had been throwing a towel in myself. Extended squash match.

WINNER: "Mississippi Madman" Don Jackson DQ -> 9:55 mins. ½*

El Diablo Silverado comes out to speak, EDS talks about the opposition, "The Hardcore Marvels" and says they aren't tough enough to beat Tuff N Stuff tonight. "The Hardcore Marvels" up next, they say they're gonna win the titles. Eric Logan comes out next apparently not knowing EDS did it already and just says what EDS said.

NMW Tag Team Championship
Tuff-N-Stuff (4-1) - "E-Lo" Eric Logan (10-8) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL & El Diablo Silverado (11-8) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL vs. The Hardcore Marvels (0-2) -"The Marvel" Shane Matthews (1-2) 6'0" 195lbs. Atlantic City, GA, Hardcore KC (2-4) 5'7" 170lbs. Kansas City, MO - Okay only I am calling them the "Hardcore Marvels", and it works unlike that silly "Marvelators" name Weities came up with. Logan and Shane start, armbar Logan, hammerlock, headlock, takedown. They wrestle on the mat, then go to the strength test. Monkey flips traded. Lockup, rear headlock Matthews, Northern Lights suplex Logan, armbar. Shane armwringer, Logan armwringer, Shane climbs the rope and armdrags him. Small package Shane gets two. Logan backslide gets two. Shane hooks and arm and rolls through for two. Logan bridge gets two. They roll around, Logan does the tilt-a-whirl on the mat and they're dizzy. Weities calls it GAY. Tag EDS and KC. Waistlocks traded, EDS pounds away, side kick KC, armdrag, hip toss, slam KC gets two. Tag Matthews, double whip, double dropkick gets two. Suplex Shane gets two. Tag KC, KC whip clothesline in the corner. KC whip reverse bulldog gets two. EDS whip springboard crossbody gets two. EDS suplex, butterfly suplex gets two. KC hurraconranna gets two. EDS clothesline gets two. EDS whip knee, whip knee, gut wrencher gets two. Weities talks like an idiot. EDS whip Juvy Driver, he goes up, second rope legdrop gets two. EDS armbar, goes to top but gets slammed off. Tag Shane, EDS fails to tag, hip toss, back body drop, Logan in. Logan fisherman buster, whip corner. Logan charges at KC and hits, EDS charges at Shane and misses. Logan moonsaults on KC. Shane Samoan Drop on Logan. KC neckbreaker on EDS. KC and Shane put EDS on top, double superplex attempted, but gets fought off. EDS and Logan double team flapjack bulldog combo and win it. Tornado tag action! Need the wide shot for that. EDS comes back out to eat up the crowd some more, oh boy is EDS's head getting larger? The Hardcore Marvels get the crowd chanting for them while they depart.

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS: Tuff-N-Stuff pin -> (5-1) 12:50 mins. ***½

Hardcore Match
"Trendsetter" Tom Arson (12-10) 6'5" 260lbs. St. Louis, MO vs. "Toga" Steve Fisher (4-7-1) 5'10" 240lbs. Carbondale, IL - Toga has the plank wrapped in barbed wire, and the mike. Toga doesn't want to fight the "Trendsetter", he wants to fight "The Specter" cause all he's done is dance like a slut. Arson comes out with a kendo stick and chain. They start slugging it out, Toga gets tossed, kendo shot. LOW BLOW with the stick. Arson gets a chair, BAM! Toga kendo stick, McCloud calls it something different, Arson whip to the post. Arson gets a trash can lid, BAM! Arson whip to the stairs. Toga head slam into the stairs. Toga apron ram. Toga two lidshots gets two. LOW BLOW Arson, gets the chair. Arson drop toe hold into the chair, ouch. Arson gets the barb wire plank, Toga has a cut on him. Arson whacks the back with it. Arson lidshot. Arson has the chair, BAM! Arson throws Toga out, he slugs away. Toga fights back, rams him into the wall. Toga gets a beer and smashes it in Arson's face. Toga slams him on the floor, gets the plank, throws Arson in. Wire comes off of it, he whacks him in the head. Lidshot Toga, chairshot gets two. Arson is now bleeding. Arson Texas Cloverleaf out of nowhere, Toga gets out. Arson Russian leg sweep gets two. Arson goes up, moonsault missed. Toga and Arson whack with the plank and lid, one leg cover Arson gets two. Arson goes out, gets the ladder. Arson plank shot, drops the ladder on him. Arson goes up, SENTON on the ladder but only gets TWO! Arson sets him up, Toga with the HAZING inverted spinning neckbreaker wins it!

WINNER: Toga Steve pin -> 13:05 mins. ***½

Tom Arson walks over and shakes hands with Toga Steve. Arson gets the mike. He says five years ago NMW was just a whisper, the roster has made NMW what it is today. He made a decision a couple months ago to retire from NMW. Tonight's match was his final match. A thank you Arson chant erupts. Arson says he's gonna set one last trent and walks around the ring shaking and hugging fans. So why is he retiring? It is due to a back injury that's gotten worse over time. But I'll say this, after a couple years that back will heal up and sometime or another I believe he's gonna get that itch again and come out of retirement. Big loss to the roster though. I need to stop a moment and note some other recent departures. Drive Thru Red & Coop have put their wrestling careers on hold, Kev G has moved to the St. Louis area and may hook up with a group down there, El Pollo Loco is still injured, Dredd Walker put his wrestling career on hold, "Perfect Speciman" has had to put wrestling on the back burner for now, and New World Quinten is on hiatus. Next month's ranking list I put together will have a number of names moved to the INACTIVE list, and things should look a bit interesting.

After that touching moment, 4GQ has come out and ATTACK someone in the crowd! WTF??? They throw Michael Shard in the ring to beat on him. Guy Smith calls out WITCHY WATSON! Witchy claims Devall is keeping Smith and Witchy down cause she's a woman. Uh no Witchy, it's because you're CORRUPT AS HELL! She calls Devall a sexist. That brings out President Devall and he gets in Witchy's face. A loud arguement ensues. Devall screams you want a war, you got one and orders all of them outta here. You DO NOT ATTACK FANS IN THE CROWD, even IF they are former wrestlers! You can get sued for that! MORONS! Guy Smith must want Shard reinstated despite all that effort to get rid of him with that loser leaves town match last November. And gee, I get to rehash all the Witchy stuff I hit her with during her last tour of duty--won't that be a riot!

Brad Stephens on the video wall, he says he had Earl Grissom beat in the middle of the ring. He says he threw the match for the Central IL title cause he thought he should be in a heavyweight title match instead. Gee, you think he COULD had been the first double champ? Sage on next, he's walking out the champ tonight, and Brad's chances are rather horrible.

NMW Heavyweight Championship
(c)Sage Ramsey (12-8) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL vs. "Rather Charming" Bradley Stephens (7-5) 6'0" 225lbs. Las Vegas, NV - Stephens has been racking up them losses lately. Lockup, nothing. Lockup, nothing again. Lockup again, rolling on the ropes, shove Sage. Brad with a hair yank, whip reverse hip toss Sage. Sage whip back body drop. Sage whip spinebuster, Brad goes out. Brad charges Sage and gets powerslammed for two. Brad with a eye poke, choke on the ropes, suplex, choke with a leg. Brad drops a punch, Brad whip clothesline, elbow, dumb cover gets two. Brad with a big slam, legdrop gets two. Brad pounds away, Sage catches him for a form of a fisherman's suplex, Sage slam, headbutt. Sage whip BIG BOOT, legdrop gets two. Brad knee, head jam on the knee, sleeper hold on the mat. Sage gets out, clothesline Brad gets two. Brad whip Sage double chokeslam. Sage charges and misses the clothesline, Stephens misses the dropkick, Sage puts on the sharpshooter. I've never seen Sage use that before, and he lets it go. Sage headbutt, sets up him, clothesline in the corner gets two. Sage goes for his move, Brad slips out, hits a reverse DDT on his knee. Brad slugs away, Sage flips him around, whip reverse INTO THE REF! James Welden in a heap, Brad fetches the belt, misses a shot, belly to back suplex. Sage whip reverse hip toss into a facebuster! Brad sets him up, Brad gets into it with a fan, Sage gets up and nails him, SAGE CHOKESLAM FROM THE TOP ROPE gets three! Rather crappy mistake by Stephens there.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP: Sage Ramsey pin -> (13-8) 13:10 mins. ***

They close the show with a Quiznos ad??? Shrug.

The Verdict: I guess sometimes the cameras can't do a match justice at times. Solid show, nothing earth shattering, I'm chomping at the bit to get back in the commentary seat.