The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
New Midwest Wrestling's Happy Brawlidays II
12/18/2K4 Springfield, IL

Yes a ring apron CAN injure someone...

This rap sheet is posted on http://www.newmidwest.com/forum and the Usenet group news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info along with the archive The Rap Sheet Dossier at http://rap-sheet.tripod.com

It's the month after the wild November Reign event and this show was considered by many to be a lower-key show and thus folks could afford to miss it. Well, let's see if this event measures up to last years and figure out if they really should had missed this show.

In my last rap sheet covering GAW 12/12/2K4, my little rap on the Christophobes running around the country trying to stop Christmas displays and the like got someone's attention, but Bill O'Reilly has been pounding away at it on his show and various media guys are pissed off at him for it. Good, at least we will know exactly who all the other Christophobes are in the news business.

I heard last month they didn't have enough people to help load the ring up to the truck, so I decided to assist. They only had eight guys to load it up, drive the ring over, then set it back up again. During the set up I had been listening to Fresh Tek on WMAY waiting to call in and win a rather sizable Christmas prize package. I did manage to win it, and the pile of stuff contained in it was three old NES games, a new Gamecube game, pair of hats, pair of t-shirts, a big cardboard cutout of GTA San Andreas and a laser pointer kit. After that, I sat on the top rope watching the wrestlers practice a little bit before showtime. When I got down off the apron, I had a hold of the top rope and was just gonna jump backward to the floor. Well somehow the apron around the ring was raised a bit off the canvas and my shoe got caught in it. Either I had to catch myself or tumble to the floor, I chose to tumble to the floor. Ended up twisting my knee, could had been worse if I tried to catch myself. So I ended up watching the whole show in pain, and I sat in the front row again with the bell.

Live from the low ceiling venue called the American Center. Your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne, with assistant ring announcers Real World Jeremy and Jason Devall. Your commentary team is Michael Raines and Dane MacLeod.

Video segment, LPC talks to RWJ about finally getting his title shot for the Central IL belt and says RWJ owes him one so he should tell him which box the belt is in. RWJ wants to know why he owes him anything. LPC says RWJ put him in an unexpected match against Arson last month. RWJ decides to put LPC in a box instead of start the match against Tricky Dick in favor of Eric Ruffington. He'll put AC and snacks in the box, he can get a rest in the box while the others fight it out and if the box gets opened he can go for the belt. Well the wrestlers are hidden in the boxes before the doors open, so I know who's in which box this year. RWJ as soon as the wrestlers are introduced, goes and marks the box where LPC is in so the participants don't open it. Oh funny.

Central Illinois Championship - Naughty or Nice Match
(c)Tricky Dick Moore (6-7-0-1) 5'10" 180lbs. Beaverdale, PA w/ PM Sanders vs. "The Wrangler" Eric Ruffington (0-1) 215lbs. Bonkers, TX vs. ??? - Rules of the match, four boxes are around the ring, three of them have a wrestler inside, one has the title belt in it. The first person to find the belt in the box and grab it, wins. Lockup, Moore with a hip toss, armdrag, slam. Ruffington returns the opening trio. By the way, that's what I'll call those first three moves in sequence from now on. They go outside to fight, Moore picks up a roll of wrapping paper left outside and hits him with it. Moore stomps away, whip clothesline Trick. Moore suplex, choke in the corner, he kicks away. Ruffington reverses the whip, but Eric hits the post on a splash attempt. Tricky whip clothesline attempt gets Eric in the gut. Moore with a LOW BLOW. Moore goes outside and opens a box. A chair is tossed at Moore and then SUPERKICKED into his face! Billy Morgan is in the match! He stomps away on Ruffington, Morgan whip reverse back body drop and Ruffington gets a ceiling tile! Ruffington clothesline, Morgan reverses the whip and gets a spinebuster! Chop Moore, Morgan and Tricky take turns choping, they double team Ruffington. Morgan off the rope, legdrop, double team elbows, double whip, double hip toss. Rear chinlock by Morgan, Moore punches at Ruffington's head. PMS is checking boxes, Morgan off the ropes and sits on Ruffington, and rides him like a bronco! RWJ directs traffic outside, keeping others away from LPC. Double whip, double clothesline by Ruffington, Moore and Morgan hit the floor. Ruffington crawls over to a box and frees Michael Shard in Santa hat who just walks over him. Shard goes after Morgan, PHD comes out to argue with PMS and surround the box with the belt. Shard slams Moore, slams Morgan, Shard back elbow to the head on someone. Shard slugs away on someone, PHD convinces Ruffington to get back in the match and not open the box. Shard drop kick on a sitting Morgan, Ruff gets back in. Knee drop to the shoulder on Ruff, Devall takes a seat in front of me. RWJ writes more things on the box. Tricky chokes Shard, Morgan and Ruff fight, Morgan chops Ruff down. Moore chops Shard. Morgan misses the splash on Ruff, then gets knocked out of the ring through the box and hard against the ring barrier! Holy crap! PHD and PMS get into a tug-a-war over the belt! Isn't the match over? The fight continues in the ring, Shard clotheslines Moore. Cutting Edge Shard on Moore! I'm confused as to why the match ain't over. Shard walks over and rams PMS and PHD together but goes to slap hands instead of pick up the belt. Shard goes for a piledriver on Tricky, Morgan kicks him off, Tricky Dick walks over and grabs the belt for the win.

WINNER: Tricky Dick Moore -> 13:30 mins. ***

Cause of the type of match this was, no tally is scored on anyone. I didn't rate the match at all when I saw it live but I thought this was better than last year's so I am just gonna stamp three stars on it for now. RWJ checks on the box that LPC is in and tells the crowd to be quiet cause he's sleeping. RWJ then calls for the first few gifts to be given away.

Prime Time Playa (1-0) 190lbs. Reno, NV vs. Mississippi Madman (5-3-2) 370lbs. Olive Branch, MS - Well PTP is not making any friends, he has the mike and explains why he wants to challenge Madman. He's mad at him cause he got stinkfaced by him and it took two weeks to get rid of the smell. He yells for Madman to get out here if he's not too busy eating a cheeseburger. Sunset flip attempt PTP, Madman misses the sitdown, drop kick PTP and flees outside. PTP back in and slugs away but runs off again. PTP back in, clotheslines have no effect, Madman with a heel kick! PTP tries slugging Madman but gets shoved down repeatedly. Madman with a chokehold, then a gorilla press! Shot to the throat by Madman, slam, but misses an elbow. PTP with an elbow, legdrop, Madman up and does a flying hammerlock toss. Madman whip, PTP with the poke and drop kick. PTP charges and misses the splash, Madman with a BIG SPLASH to the corner, stinkface follows, then the 5th floor double chokeslam finishes it!

WINNER: Mississippi Madman pin -> (6-3-2) 5 mins. **

RWJ calls Madman over to the box. LPC apparently can sleep through a hurricane, and after they lift the box up, he is indeed asleep. RWJ says LPC has been talking smack about Madman's mother (who's sitting in the front row, btw). LPC wakes up and falls back in his chair. Madman grabs him and beats him in the ring before giving him a stinkface! 5th Floor for LPC, then a second one! Crowd goes wild!

After another gift giving session, the former El Diablo Silverado comes to the ring, whom RWJ introduces as Marty Jennetty. I hold a special sign, "You can't have this spotlight" and hold a lit flashlight over my head. EDS screams at everyone to shut up, it's his time to talk. He supposes they think it's funny Logan beat him last month and he lost his mask. The we want Logan chants drive him nuts. EDS says Logan did him a favor by taking his mask and we have no idea what he's unleashed. The fans want him to put the mask back on. It's his time to shine, he's the live of the party, the main attraction, the one we pay to see, and the one we all wish to be. He is the "Spotlight" Spencer Powers. 2005 is the year of the spotlight. Well music hits and the lady Rian Cruz comes out. She calmly states we are all sick of listening to him whine, and if he's acting like a girl he should fight a girl. SSP scoffs at fighting a girl and says he should go make babies or something. Rian says he's afraid of losing to a girl. She beat Cherry last month and proved she was the better woman and there's another woman she needs to beat and wants a match with SSP. Devall asks if she's serious, then looks at SSP's belt that has pictures of him on it. He says the opponent won't be Rian Cruz, but will be a surprise opponent so he better get ready.

NMW Tag Team Championship
(c)Mister Mister (5-1) 490lbs. combined - "Mr. Hollywood" Stan Sallinger (3-6) Hollywood, CA & SCW Heavyweight Champ Mr. Elite (2-3-0-1) Minnepolis, MN w/ Cherry Malone vs. Maximum Impact (2-5) 369lbs. combined - Hardcore KC (2-7) Kansas City, MO & "The Marvel" Shane Matthews (2-4) Atlantic City, NJ - Cherry has a cute Santa's Little Helper outfit on. Thus far, KC & Marvel's impact on the tag team scene has been minimal, as they had chances for tag titles in three different feds inside of eight days and came up empty each time. That besides all the other tag title shots throughout the year. KC starts the match, Stan and Elite keep tagging in and out to stall. Finally KC suicide crossbodies them both on the floor right in front of me, Shane Matthews follows up with another. Elite gets the advantage back in by stomping KC, rope burns him, tag Stan. Choke, takedown gets two. Choke by Elite, tag, ram into the corner, whip to the corner clothesline gets two. Choke on the ropes Elite, Stan chokes, tag, Stan with a slam, legdrop gets two. Tag Elite, suplex gets two. Rear headlock, Elite gets careless and Shane tags in. Shane clothesline, suplex, double team whip drop kick get two. Tag KC, double team tornado DDT gets two. Whip KC armdrag, tag Shane, double whip double back body drop. Stan in with an elbow, KC dumps Stan out, Elite with a drop kick on Shane, back suplex gets two. Tag Stan, whip sideslam gets two. Choke Stan, tag Elite, shot to the gut, double stomp, back headbutt Elite. Fisherman's suplex gets two. Rear chinlock Elite, takedown gets two. Choke on the rope, KO pinch, side rear chinlock Elite. Shane gets out, but runs into a twisting belly to belly suplex for two. Tag Stan, whip spinebuster gets two. Shane ALMOST tags, Stan tries to emulate what Elite just did but can't do it. Shane with a crossbody, armdrag, Stan reverses the whip and applies the Million Dollar Dream, Shane breaks out but Stan locks it in again. Shane shoves him off, and hits a jawbreaker. They slug away at each other, Shane wins the fight and gets a whip, Stan locks in a full nelson and attempts to swing him but Shane escapes and gets the Samoan Drop! Tag KC, clotheslines, drop kicks, side kicks on Mister Mister. KC kicks Stan out, double whip, Elite gets caught, double team neckbreaker powerbomb combo gets two. Marvel splashes the ref and Stan in the corner, Elite works over KC, Stan swinging full nelson slam. Stan dumps Shane, Devall revives the ref, double whip double hip toss hold and drop gets two. Cherry throws a fit. Stan has a title belt, Elite holds Shane up but Shane moves! Shane crossbodies Stan out, KC covers Elite and gets the pin! FINALLY Maximum Impact comes through and wins the big one! About time. Elite and Stan are arguing all the way to the back over their title loss, apparently one of them hit Cherry.

WINNERS and NEW CHAMPS: Maximum Impact pin -> (3-5) 18:20 mins. ***½

Another video segment, Sage Ramsey comes up to RWJ wanting to wrestle Guy Smith for the title tonight and wonders who Eric Logan is. RWJ says he can't give him the title shot right away since he has to do certain things in order and will be building Sage back up again. Sage accuses RWJ of becoming soft. Okay this ain't good, and I'm sitting in the Ramsey cheering section.

Toga Claus and Boston the Reindeer come out to give gifts out to the kids and beers to the commentary team. Toga says he's not quite Santa, but he's Toga Claus. The difference is...someone shouts "you're gay!"...Toga flips that person the bird. Santa has the list of all the good kids in the world, Toga doesn't have a list but he's got a little black book with a list of all the naughty girls who have had at least 18 Christmas'es. Santa goes around the world giving kids what they deserve one day a year. Toga works 365 days a year and gives them what they deserve before they go to bed. Santa has a helper, Rudolph. Toga has a helper too, Bostoff the lightweight freshman. Toga says there's a song for Bostoff.

"Bostoff the lightweight freshman,
tried to chug a lot of booze,
and if you bet he could do it,
you would be wrong and lose.

All of the other freshman
used to laugh and call him names
they wouldn't let poor Bostoff
join in any of freshman games.

Then one blurry Tuesday night,
Toga came to say
Bostoff with my tab so high,
won't you buy the beer tonight?

Then all the freshman loved him
as he shouted out with glee
Bostoff the red-nosed freshman
distract that cop while I pee!"

HA HA funny! There's the difference between Toga and Santa, but shows how they are alike and give away toys. Justin MacIntyre comes to the ring a short time later with Stephani King filming. Mack poses on the ropes, Toga says he knows her and will see her on the 28th, actually the 29th, and again on August 4th. Mack says he's got a gift as well, a prime arse-kicking to the next guy that boos him. The crowd boos him so he's got a lot of work to do. Mack says he could beat up everyone, but there's not enough soap to shake off all the ugly afterward. He tells Toga he didn't come for fun and holiday cheer, drinking is cool though, but says he was main eventing and now he's a joke. I decide to shout WHAT in between lines at this point, some of the crowd joins me. Mack says Christmas has no business in the wrestling business. He came to wrestle tonight in front of all you rednecks. The reason for the season is to give gifts to him, he should be getting the Central IL title shot, he says wrestling and Santa have one thing in common, they are both fake. Toga has had enough and attacks.

Toga Steve (7-8-1) 240lbs Carbondale, IL w/ Matt Boston vs. "Soon To Be" Justin MacIntyre (1-3-0-1) 220lbs. Barrie, ON, Canada w/ Stephani King - Toga pounds the heck out of Mack in the corner, choke, then dumps him out. Toga follows, Mack runs but Boston stops him, Toga throws him back in, ram to the corner, Toga is sent head first into the turnbuckle. Rear headlock Mack, whip Toga with a side slam that he almost loses gets two. Rake Mack, he pounds away, chops have no effect, Toga chops him, whip clothesline corner twice Toga. Toga goes up, elbow to the back off the second gets two. LOW BLOW Mack, ram corner, double shoulderblock. Mack grandstands while Matt hands Toga a beer, Toga drinks up and spits it in Mack's face! Mack stumbles around, Toga with the HAZING inverted spinning neckbreaker gets three!

WINNER: Toga Steve pin -> (8-8-1) 4:45 mins. *

Toga whips Stephani for being naughty. The celebration is short lived as Sage Ramsey comes out to wrestle Boston and gets in Toga's face.

Sage Ramsey (16-12) 250lbs. Peoria, IL vs. "The Freshman" Matt Boston (5-6-0-1) 132lbs. Carbondale, IL - Hmmm....MISMATCH! Lockup and BIG shove Sage. Boston with a baseball slide takedown, Sage with a kick and headbutt. Slam Sage, headlock, Boston gets out and hits a drop kick for two. Small package Boston gets two, he proceeds to kick away. Sage reverses the whip, but misses the splash, sunset flip Boston get two. Ramsey family are as loud as ever. Drop kick gets two. Sage shoves him off, then grabs him for the Snake Eyes! Sage whip Boston DDT gets two. Crossbody attempt is caught, Sage with the FINAL FALL but pulls him up at TWO! Errr...Sage with a CHOKESLAM and AGAIN pulls him up at two at the last moment. Music started to play but I wish James Welden would just declare this over. Sage with a POWERBOMB and finally pins him.

WINNER: Sage Ramsey pin -> (17-12) 5:50 mins. **

Toga Steve comes back out, pissed off, and gets in Sage's face. Sage gets into Devall's face as well on his way out. Some moron keeps telling me to ring the bell one more time. Boston is hurt bad, and Sage's mom thinks we're gonna see a new side of Ramsey. RWJ does the ring intros for the next match. It's Rian Cruz in a mask! She does the mannerisms of EDS perfectly until...

Man vs. Woman
"Spotlight" Spencer Powers (16-10) 175lbs. Miami, FL vs. "El Diablo Silverado" Rian Cruz (0-0-0-1) 115lbs. Beardstown, IL - SSP yanks her off the ropes, snap mare, and pulls the mask off. He screams at everyone for thinking this is funny. Armbar by Cruz, she reverses the whip and does some Japanese arm drags! Armdrag into an armbar Cruz, SSP slams her but she holds onto it like three in a row. One more armdrag and SSP bails. Back in, armdrag, hip toss Rian. SSP with a suplex and drops her on the top rope then knocks her to the floor in front of me. SSP rams her in the apron, toss in, rib breaker gets one. SSP pounds her in the corner, whip sunset flip Rian gets two, crusifix rollup gets two, back slide gets two. SSP with a knee to the gut, gut wrencher, then applies a body scissors. Rian fights her way out, wheelbarrow into a diamond cutter aka Cruz Control gets two. Rian whip reverse SSP gets the ab stretch, Rian gets out of it, but runs right back in it, then manages to small package SSP for the big upset. Rian is kinda slow it seems, wind resistance with the hair perhaps. Needs work doing the diamond cutter but this match turned out better than her last one.

WINNER: Rian Cruz pin -> (1-0-0-1) 9:30 mins. **½

SSP sits there with a shocked look on his face, but soon stalks Cruz and gives her a Juvy Driver! SSP stomps her then fetches a chair. Ricky the ref tries to stop him but gets slugged down to the mat. SSP jams the chair into Rian's gut, RWJ and Devall try to jump in but gets chased away with that chair. RWJ gets the mike and asks if that makes him feel like a man. RWJ says he appointed a helper tonight for situations like this, it's not him but it's Madman! Mississippi Madman indeed comes out, SSP tries to flee but RWJ throws him in and Madman gives SSP the 5th floor! One more time chant erupts, and Madman obliges with another! Devall starts singing "we wish you a Merry Christmas".

Real World Jeremy presents the wrestler of the year award as voted by the fans and the winner is Scotty Cash! Cash thanks everyone for voting for him, those that didn't need to get on the Cash bandwagon cause this has been the second year going that the fans voted for him. The video wall does a test pattern and plays RWJ pedigreeing Scotty Cash while blinded last month. Yeah, your point?

NMW Heavyweight Championship
(c)Guy Smith "did Cherry 10, Witchy 32 times" (25-12) 255lbs. Rapid City, SD w/ Cherry Malone vs. "E-Lo" Eric Logan (13-10) 170lbs. Palm Springs, FL - Lockup to the corner Guy, takedown Logan, they run the ropes, armdrag Guy, armdrag E-Lo. Actually having some difficulty paying attention to this match as Cherry stands near me with that attention getting outfit and various members of the crowd fire off insults. Lockup, Guy with a headlock, armbar takedown, hammerlock Logan, snap mare Guy, misses the elbow. Clothesline E-Lo, whip splash gets two. Armdrag Logan, armbar takedown, and he scissors the arm, Guy rolls him over for two but Logan turns it back. Logan up, spinning heel kick gets two. Smith ram to the turnbuckle, neckbreaker, camel clutch, legdrop gets two. Front facelock Guy, Logan suplex and northern lights for two. Armdrag Logan, crossarm breaker. Guy pickup but Logan gets the armbar takedown. Smith with a neck snap on the ropes, elbow to the neck, suplex attempt is blocked, DDT Logan. Whip Smith belly to belly suplex gets two. Choke in the corner by Smith, choke on the rope, head slam by Guy, whip E-Lo hops him over, drop toe hold on the ropes. Logan with the AREA CODE KICK of 217, slingshot senton gets two! Smith reverses the whip, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker Smith! Another backbreaker, powerbom gets two! Whip Smith, Logan goes for the Unprettier, Guy blocks it and gets a kick to the gut! Elbows to the back by Smith, elevated surfboard! Shoulders are down but the ref won't count, Smith converts it to a rear chinlock with the legs still locked together. It turns into a regular chinlock, Logan gets up, Stratusfaction by Logan! Enzuigiri attempt is caught, Smith goes for a side suplex but Logan reverses into a headscissors. Enzuigiri Logan! German suplex gets two. Rolling Samoan Drop Logan, second rope splash gets two. Logan kicks away, whip Smith blocks a move and hits a double underhook suplex for two. Little inspiration attempt is blocked, Logan with the Unprettier! Smith blocks a crossbody and hits some sort of suplex, then the Unprettier himself and pins him!

WINNER and STILL CHAMP: Guy Smith 10-32 pin -> (26-12) 20:15 mins. ****¼

Spencer Powers comes out angry, Smith dumps Logan out, Mister Mister stomps Logan on the floor, then throws him in to be beaten on by all of 4GQ. LPC with the KICK WHAM STUNNER! RWJ gets in the ring, he says he's tired of seeing them guys beat up people every month. RWJ says he's not one man anymore, turns out there's someone else who have problems with how 4GQ have been operating. The ENTIRE lockerroom comes out and surrounds the ring. It's no longer one man against 4GQ. Spencer Powers is now aligned with 4GQ, errr...5GQ. RWJ says he's tired of what 5GQ is doing, there are six people tired of their trash. It's 5GQ against Sage Ramsey, Michael Shard, Eric Logan, Mississippi Madman, and Scotty Cash! NMW is tired of 4GQ and Spencer Powers, RWJ says get them! Everyone around the ring attacks 4GQ and they all beat on them in and out of the ring. RWJ points out to Toga Steve he's got a naughty girl for him, it's Cherry. Toga picks her up and Madman spanks her. Toga shoves her out to the floor. They all forgot about Guy's belt, and they decide to send Elite to get it, who's very hesistant to retrieve. Well the guys in the ring attack Elite and dump him out and toss the belt at them. RWJ wishes 5GQ a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. They give out the last couple gifts and we're done!

The Verdict: Well I knew from the outset that this was gonna be a laid back show for the younger folk. Now were the people who said they didn't want to come BECAUSE it was gonna be a laid back show for the kids justified in saying that? I'm gonna say NO. This had a decent opener, hot tag match with title change, and a super main event. The rest was decent enough filler and the in-between match stuff was quite amusing so Brawlidays 2004 overall turned out much better than last year's show. So if you missed it, you're getting a lump of coal!

Thumbs up.