The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
New Midwest Wrestling's New Years Resolution III
1/29/2K5  Springfield, IL

Let's get the New Year off to a good start...

This rap sheet is posted on http://www.newmidwest.com/forum and the Usenet group news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info along with the archive The Rap Sheet Dossier at http://rap-sheet.tripod.com  The views expressed by me are solely my own and absolutately do not reflect the views of anyone else.  Please do not harass anyone else about me else I may present you with a pair of shiny handcuffs.

I haven't been in a rush to put this thing together, mainly cause I used a videotape instead of take notes so I could pay more attention to the show and not have to deal with writing.  Well about a couple days later some sort of flu/cold virus reeked havoc with most of the roster including myself and I had no motivation to do anything but recover.  Course I got busy too at home when I wasn't sick.  Anyway here it is now, better late than never.  There's been a real dispute on the STYLE I use to write these, I prefer the blow-by-blow style, others want no more than two or three sentences on a match and don't care about the content--that is, the symbolism over the substance.  I prefer getting the substance, one of the bedrocks of conservative thought, cause substance is what you have to show for anything, there's nothing to show for symbolism.  Thus I'll go for the substance every time.

Today started off with a snowstorm, it was snowing all over town starting early in the morning and it came down at a steady clip amounting to about three inches when it stopped.  We all get to the gym early to load the ring up in the flatbed truck.  Well since it snowed, several take advantage and have a bit of a snowball fight.  My throwing ability is just crap, Brent the Ref is quite dangerous with the snowballs aiming for the head, Cherry Malone practically put my eye out stuffing a handful of snow in my face, never saw it coming, boy did it hurt.  Darn her.  The guests from Chicago arrived about noon to put on a tag division clinic, and with the tag division as depleted as it is was sorely needed.  Other guests from up north came in, and good stories were swapped about La Salle/Peru, which seems to be a wrestling hot spot being the midway point between the Quad, Chi-Town, Rockford and Bloomington/Normal.  During the entire show I get harassed by a group of guys a row behind me that continually shout at me to ring the bell.  And these guys would NEVER shut up, even after hitting them back with insults.  It was so bad I was really considering throwing the bell AT them to shut them up.  They are NOT welcome to sit near me in February.  Ugh, they're worse than the former PWO, but even the former PWO get their shots in tonight.

Live from the American Center.  Your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne.

Jason Devall is paid a visit by Guy Smith, Devall says this travesity called war will come to an end.  Guy Smith lists all the things they tried to do to him and 4GQ and nothing happened.  Devall guarntees their hands don't get raised.  Video package plays covering the set up for tonight's 10-man survivor series match.  

"The Freshman" Matt Boston (5-7-0-1) 132lbs. Carbondale, IL vs. Prime Time Playa (1-1) 190lbs. Reno, NV - PTP takes forever moving around the ring to get in it.  PTP wants to test the strength but Matt stomps the foot, sunset flip attempt and Boston pulls down PTP's pants!  Jock strap, briefs...Boston with a flying headscissors off the ring apron.  PTP takes control however with a side slam.  PTP with a norther lights for two.  PTP with a whip to the corner but eats a boot, Boston hits the tornado DDT for two.  PTP rams Boston in the corner, but doesn't stay on him, misses the charge, PTP has his legs really spread out and Boston with the baseball slide to the crotch.  PTP puts him in the tree of woe, he tries to baseball slide into his face but slides into the post.  Boston shoves him with his feet crotching PTP into the post.  Ouch.  Boston with another tornado DDT.  The crowd taunts him with "Greg Brady" chants, yeah I can see the resemblance.  PTP gets the upper hand though and it's KICK WHAM FAMEASSER for the win.  Good opener to further establish PTP's future.

WINNER:  Prime Time Playa pin -> (2-1) 7:55 mins. **¾

Something's going on at ringside as some guy in a red suit pays off security to have a couple people removed from a couple seats so he can have them.  Others see this and start chewing him out.  Considering how many people complained about the Guy Smith Fan Club reserving a whole section of seats at November Reign this is just inviting a new round of gripes.

Rian Cruz comes to the ring to bash Spencer Powers for damaging her ribs after pinning him last month.  4GQ comes out to talk her down, then Spencer Powers sneaks in through the side door and enters the ring to grab and chainshot her in the gut.  Sheesh, she had to have lost her hearing.  Jason Devall and Eric Logan come out to balk and 4GQ tosses her to the floor.  Jerks, all of them.

Justin MacIntyre (1-4-0-1) 220lbs. Barrie, ON, Canada w/ Stephani King vs. "Wrangler" Eric Ruffington (0-1) 215lbs. Converse, TX - The Mack attacks Ruffington in the aisle and rams him into the post.  Ruff slingshots Mack into the post though, ram into the apron, but Mack hits a DDT on the floor and puts him in.  Bell rings, Mack gets two.  Mack hits the clothesline, and starts taking bows.  Mack works him in the corner, hard chops, but Ruff hits a clothesline, snap suplex for two.  Ruff drives that knee in, Mack does the three stooges wave and poke, haha.  Mack attacks the knee and puts a figure four around the ring post!  Mack takes off his belt and whips him in the face!  That's not legal!!!  Mack scissors that knee, Ruff fights out and hits a DDT off the ropes.  The rally is brief as Mack goes for the figure four, aborts it, then puts on the half crab.  Mack lets it go for some reason just prance around the ring like an idiot, allowing Ruff to try a Samoan Drop but his legs buckle and Justin gets the STF.  Ruff can't get the rope and taps.

WINNER:  "Soon To Be" Justin MacIntyre submission -> (2-4-0-1) 6:50 mins. **½

MacIntyre steals my ring bell and says to the commentary team "DVD exclusive, that Crimefighter cannot get, its for you boys, it's for every single one of you in the crowd, this is only the beginning of the end of New Midwest Wrestling."  Beginning of the end???  He's gonna be mad that I found out what he said so quick.  I promptly retrieve the ring bell and say MacIntyre is a royal pain in the butt!  Match served its purpose, get MacIntyre a sorely needed dominant win that he actually earned, let him display his full blown rage toward someone and not get his butt handed back to him in the process.

LPC is about to eat a sub sandwich when Madman comes up and steals it, then clobbers LPC down for supposedly talking bad about his mom.

Toga Steve (8-8-1) 240lbs Carbondale, IL vs. Billy Morgan (12-11) 172lbs. Decatur, IL w/ PHD - Ricky the ref doesn't have his glasses on, and the commentators wish Garret Ryan was still around to take out the fat flannel guy in Morgan's corner.  Oh cute.  Toga has been tolling with being a main eventer after getting the Arson rub but keeps getting screwed over by cheaters.  Toga pounds away in the corner, PHD claims he was the best manager Toga ever had.  Well that's debatable.  Morgan's wimpy chops have no effect and Toga shows him how its done before backdropping and clotheslining him outside.  Morgan's chest is bright red, suplex gets two.  Toga does the whip but Billy hurls him over the top rope, Toga hits his head against the apron before hitting the floor.  Ref checks him, Morgan attacks him on the floor about a minute later.  Morgan even hits him with the frat paddle!  Morgan kick DDT gets two.  Morgan with the swinging neckbreaker gets two.  PHD chokes with the cane, fisherman's suplex gets two.  Morgan misses a move and Toga tries the rolling germans but grabs his neck after two.  Well he's gonna need a neckbrace soon.  Toga with the belly to belly suplex, PHD grabs Toga's leg, Morgan with the superkick gets TWO!  Toga POWERBOMB, and PHD jumps on the apron.  Darn him!  Morgan tries to do Sliced Bread #2 but Toga throws him off, Toga HAZING on Morgan!  PHD yanks Ricky out and bashes him on the apron!  Toga chases PHD, PHD trips, oh Toga's gonna go to town!  Toga stuffs his tie into PHD's mouth and puts him in the ring.  Morgan CANESHOT on Toga, Matt Boston comes out, tries a drop kick but eats a superkick at the same time.  Morgan dumps Boston, piledriver powerbomb.  PHD throws Ricky back in, he counts three???  WHERE THE **** IS THE DQ???

WINNER:  Billy Morgan pin -> (13-11) 14:40 mins. **½

PHD screams Toga beat him up, Morgan caneshots him in the head, Boston runs him off but Morgan steals the frat plank.  Morgan also stole his spot back in the heavyweight title chase, Toga continues to get underrated with undeserved losses.  Time for the frats to go for the tag belts.

Guy Smith talks to Scotty Cash in the locker room, Smith points out that Cash is still family and no one other than Smith should ever screw Cash out of anything.  Guy says Cash might have beat him if RWJ didn't give him a pedigree.  Cash wants to know what he knows, Guy just wants to express his love.  Ugh.

Brandon Blaze (debut) 215lbs. Chicago, IL vs. "Pocket Rocket" Eric Marx (1-0) 160lbs. New Orleans, LA - Well my worst fears are confirmed, the commentators did no research on the visitors from Chicago.  Heck, the photos I dug up all get used on the video wall, glad to be of service.  Blaze wrestles in Chicago and Milwaukee between Brew City and Midwestern States Pro Wrestling.  Eric Marx wrestles mostly in the I-80 corridor.  Blaze grabs Marx's ring robe and rubs his butt with it.  Well that's nice.  They take turns posing until Marx sticks his finger up Blaze's rear.  Then the two anuses at ringside make an offensive joke, to which I say Blaze should be estatic that he doesn't have an Outbreak in his love machine.  JACK***!!!  Marx gets the headlock, Blaze catches him in a leapfrog and rams him in the corner, floatover suplex gets two.  Blaze with a side suplex gets two.  Marx with the flying forearm gets two.  Brandon works him in the corner, clothesline, Blaze with hard running knees into corner gets two!  Blaze pulls off the tape and chokes Marx with it, Welden decides to argue with the fans.  Blaze goes up, despite the ceiling but Marx slams him off for two.  Marx fires up, chops, Marx with the Edgucation for two.  Marx hits the atomic drop, Marx split-legged twisting senton gets two!  Blaze with the rake, does an inverted powerbomb for two.  Marx is up right away though and rolls him up for three!  Wow.

WINNER:  "Pocket Rocket" Eric Marx pin -> (2-0) 10:50 mins. ***

Marx is quite a talent, hope he has the time to wrestle here more often than once a year.  Blaze takes a seat in the corner to pout and even turns his back to the ref.

NMW Tag Team Championship
(c) Maximum Impact (3-5) 369lbs. combined - Hardcore KC (2-7) Kansas City, MO & "The Marvel" Shane Matthews (2-4) Atlantic City, NJ vs. The NEW XXXPlicit Content (debut) 420lbs combined, Electric Ave. - Delicious Danny Scott & Mike Horning w/ Ami Zane - For those who've had a chance to see the original XXXPlicit Content as *I* have, the original team consisted of Danny Scott and Bailey Mannix, which Scott comes to the ring wearing a shirt bearing Mannix's name.  During the summer, that team split up and went their seperate ways after alliances and interests shifted around and they grew apart.  Ironically, Scott's new partner ain't on good terms with him either, as he bloodied up Scott during the last MSPW show in lieu of an upcoming title shot for the MSPW Hertiage Belt, which Danny Scott currently holds.  Your commentators are all ga-ga over Zane.  Well the champs have the mike, Shane talks first and says a year ago they set out to make an impact and they finally done it, KC next, he says it's no fluke they won the belts and they wanted the toughest competition to show they can keep the belts.  Danny Scott takes the mike and tells everyone to shut up cause he has something to say to the inbred hicks.  Danny wants everyone to know who he is, he's held the NWA-WI, MSPW, and BCW tag belts, all at the same time.  He can't wait to get outta town with the NMW belts cause the place stinks.  Shane says he's got some gall coming in running his mouth.  KC & Scott start the match, they get into a shoving match, Scott actually shoves the ref, but gets shoved down by a former military guy in the referee.  KC throws him around a bit and they both tag out.  Throughout, fans come up with Horning Sucks, Danny Sucks, and Chi-Town Sucks chants.  Shane maintains a headlock, and hits a legdrop on the back of the head.  KC tags, double whip, double Japanese arm drag gets two.  KC suplex gets two.  XXXplicit Content take over working briefly, but KC tags, double dropkick Max Impact.  KC slingshot crossbody to the floor, Shane off the ropes SUICIDE DIVE on Scott!  Horning off the ropes, Max Impact dodge and Scott takes the crossbody!  Shane rams Horning to the post, KC goes up, but gets caught in a Northern Lights suplex for two.  XC double team crossarm senton on KC, Horning whip and a drop kick gets two.  Tag Scott, he tries to chop KC but KC fires the chops and hits a drop kick for two.  Side suplex Danny, as a "Danny's Got ManBoobs" chant rings out.  Scott with a slam, tag Horning, double team inverted death valley driver splash on KC gets two.  Horning with a Stinger splash, and dumps KC out for Zane to kick him.  Danny whips KC into the rail, Shane runs around the ring to knock him away briefly.  KC is put in, Horning slaps on the Boston Crab.  He lets it go though, KC gets a side kick and drop kick.  KC goes for a monkey flip but gets BOOTED, Horning goes up despite the ceiling, KC goes up with him and side suplexes him down.  Everyone tags, Shane fires elbows, puts Horning in the tree of woe, Scott gets whipped into Horning and they get in the gayest position together possible.  Hahaha.  Shane kick on Scott, Angle Slam gets two.  Shane with a crossbody on Horning on the ropes, Horning's is hanging with his hand caught in between the ropes.  OUCH!!!  Danny Scott has KC...looks like the fireman's carry sitout slam.  Shane DDT's Horning on the floor.  KC suddenly gets a small package out of nowhere for the pin!  Zane being the sore loser throws waters at a number of people at ringside, including myself.  Solid tag team match that Maximum Impact sorely needed to build their credibility up after losing so often last year, kinda surprised Danny Scott & Horning worked together so well despite the feud in MSPW.

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS:  Maximum Impact pin -> (4-5) 18:10 mins. ***½

Jason Devall comes into the locker room where Scotty Cash is sitting to ask him why he's wearing a Guy Smith shirt.  Cash claims he's cold, it's just to keep him warm.  Devall wonders if something else is up, and says there's something more there than was in the ring.  He reminds Cash that Smith turned on him big time.  Cash teases going back to his family.

Central IL Championship
(c)Tricky Dick Moore (6-7-0-1) 170lbs. Beaverdale, PA w/ PM Sanders vs. Danny McKay (debut) 165lbs. Beverly Hills, CA - PMS holds up my "We want a Sanders speech!" sign.  And gee, it's been a VERY long time since we've heard PMS cut a promo in the ring.  Wonder why?  They afraid of what he'll say on the mike?  McKay takes and plays around with the title belt.  PMS takes the title belt over to a fan who's wearing a PMS Fan Club T-Shirt.  McKay chain wrestlers Moore, Moore tries an inverted Russian leg sweep but McKay hits the DDT.  They trade hip tosses.  They both go for drop kicks and get air.  Moore offers to shake but slaps McKay and side slams him for two.  Moore with the hip toss and elbows for two.  The commentators repeatedly call Moore "Santa Pants".  McKay hits a springboard back elbow, goes up, second rope legdrop gets two.  McKay hits a slingshot suplex for two.  McKay hits a running boot to the head, side kick.  Moore with a rake, clothesline, goes up but McKay uppercuts him up there, hangmans DDT!!!  Somehow Moore kicks out, McKay with a slingshot senton for two.  McKay goes up but misses the dropkick.  Moore with a rolling move that scissors the head, dunno the name of that.  Moore with a tornado DDT gets two.  McKay tries the splash in the corner but Moore slumps down out gets kneed on the head, then hits a crossbody in the corner.  PMS starts yelling at McKay, drawing him over, Moore rollup gets two.  Tricky is bleeding from the nose, may be broken.  McKay tries for a DDT, but Moore with the northern lights gets two.  McKay grabs Moore off the back body drop attempt and powerbombs him for two.  McKay hops over a thrown knee for a two count rollup.  McKay hits the hard sunset flip for two.  PMS on the apron again, McKay jumps out to chase, tries to fake him out but Moore cuts him off, RUDE AWAKENING MOORE WINS IT!  McKay is holding his gut, he took a hard shot, and he was still hurting after the show was over.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP:  Tricky Dick Moore pin -> (7-7-0-1) 12:25 mins. ***¼

The guy in the red coat starts getting pelted with trash, and he storms out of the building.  Commentators gripe about Devall not giving a fair shake to 4GQ.  They introduce the teams, and Scotty Cash...does not come out!  Uh oh.

10-Man Survivor Series Match
Team 4GQ - Guy Smith "did Cherry 10, Witchy 32 times" (26-12) 255lbs. Rapid City, SD, "Mr. Hollywood" Stan Sallinger (3-6) Hollywood, CA, Mr. Elite (2-3-0-1) Minnepolis, MN, Lucious P. Cotrain (11-10) 5'10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious", "Spotlight" Spencer Powers (16-11) 175lbs. Miami, FL w/ Cherry Malone vs. Team RWJ - "E-Lo" Eric Logan (13-11) 170lbs. Palm Springs, FL, Sage Ramsey (17-12) 250lbs. Peoria, IL, Mississippi Madman (6-3-2) 370lbs. Olive Branch, MS, Scotty Cash (12-13-1) 210lbs. "Yo Mamma's House", Michael Shard (12-14) 165lbs. Santa Monica, CA - Your referee is Jason Devall, the enforcer outside the ring is RWJ.  Cherry Malone steals and rips in half the "Brown Out" sign I had for Spotlight, I proceed to throw a paper wad at her in response, she threatens to poke my OTHER eye out.  Just where is Witchy anyway?  Madman scares everyone out of the ring, while Sage just sulks in the corner desperate for more title shots.  Shard does some pushups to mock Guy Smith.  Shard does a one hand push up and Sallinger tries to do it but he's too heavy.  Shard gets the headscissors and Smith runs off.  Logan tags in and hits the flying headscissors.  SSP tags in and they point out he's Spencer for Hire.  Shard tags in and works the arm, Madman in and everyone runs off, RWJ tries to bribe Stan with a hot dog to get back in there.  Shard with the whip and dropkick, he and Logan drop kick everyone out.  Guy in, Logan hits the monkey flip and tags Madman in, Madman does a double team move.  Shard & Logan hit a double hip toss for two.  Smith hits a piledriver on Logan, tags LPC, suplex for two.  SSP tagged in, rib breaker gets two.  Elite tagged in, whip clothesline gets two.  Elite catches the crossbody attempt and slams him down for two.  Logan with a drop kick to the back, Elite with a belly to back into a side slam for two.  Logan with a rolling samoan drop and standing moonsault for two.  Elite catches the wheelbarrow, Elite with a full nelson into a rock bottom gets the pin.

Eric Logan, you ARE the weakest link...goodbye!  At 16:50 mins.

Madman's in the ring, and all of 4GQ runs from him, abandoning Elite for the 5th Floor double chokeslam to take HIM out.

Mr. Elite, you ARE the weakest link...goodbye!  At 17:30 mins.

The rest of 4GQ decide to get in cause they must continue the match but Madman shoves them all off.  Sage ignores it.  Shard headscissors Smith out, SSP tries the Unprittier on Shard, Shard with a flatliner and pins HIM.

Spencer Powers, you ARE the weakest link...goodbye!  At 19:00 mins.

Shard and Smith, Shard FLATLINER gets two!  Smith with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two!  Tag LPC, backbreaker stretch.  LPC puts on a rear chinlock, tags Sallinger.  Stan gets a spinebuster for two.  Sage Ramsey continues to stand in the corner uninterested.  Stan with a slam for two.  4GQ tries the ref distract to beat Shard but RWJ breaks it up.  LPC tagged, axe to the back, half camel clutch.  LPC with a slam and a one foot cover for two.  Stan tagged in, hip toss, catches the crossbody and hits the fallaway slam for two.  Stan goes for the swinging full nelson but Shard sunset flips for two.  Stang goes for it again but Shard pushes off the ropes to take him down.  Shard out of nowhere gets the figure four, Sallinger TAPS!

Stan Sallinger, you ARE the weakest link...goodbye!  At 28:05 mins.

LPC jumps in to stop a tag, suplex, side slam gets two.  LPC whip to the corner, he does the choo-choo train big splash.  A second one is met with a missile drop kick.  Slowpoke.  Smith in, Shard hits an enzuigiri, German suplex gives a kick to the GROIN on Smith!  Cherry Malone is BEGGING me to go get a cup of ice for him!  I can't, I have to stay put and ring the bell!  Finally some kid goes to fetch it, funny.  Shard and LPC hit clotheslines, LPC can't tag out, Sage tags in for the first time ever, shows chokeslam...and LETS HIM GO!  Sage gets out of the ring and walks away, his mom is screaming at him to go back, I scream at him to listen to his mother.  He just stands there with either a surprised expression on his face or just apathetic, he gets counted out, RWJ asks him repeatedly why he just abandoned the match like this.

Sage Ramsey, you ARE the weakest link...goodbye!  At 32:25 mins.

Meanwhile, LPC hits the STUNNER on Shard and pins him.

Michael Shard, you ARE the weakest link...goodbye!  At 32:30 mins.

Guy Smith in, but it's just Madman left, and he goes after both guys.  Cash's music fires up, he Scotty strolls to the ring wearing that Smith shirt and with chair in hand.  When you think he's switched sides, he CHAIRSHOTS LPC!

Scotty Cash, you ARE the weakest link...goodbye!  At 34:00 mins.

Madman pins LPC, and Devall says Cash is DQ'ed and must go back.  Cash wipes his butt with the shirt on his way out.

Lucious P. Cotrain, you ARE the weakest link...goodbye!  At 34:10 mins.

Madman goes to work on Guy, Madman charges Guy in the corner but eats a boot.  Guy's punches have little effect, he can't pull him out of the corner, but Madman throws Smith over the top rope.  RWJ comes over to wipe his face with the shirt.  Smith slows gets in and is shoulderblocked down, he can't budge Madman.  Madman with a BIG SPLASH, SSP comes out here to distract the ref.  Elite is on the apron, Guy Smith is tossed a chair, chairshot on Madman, Elite goes in the ring, Devall WARNS Smith if he uses the chair WE WIN.  They're arguing, Elite turns on Smith and takes the chair, Madman with the FIFTH FLOOR and PINS THE CHAMP!!!  The drama was there from start to finish, though I had seen it coming with the double turn of Sage and Elite, I didn't expect it to happen during the same match.  Because Sage walked out, he has practically HANDED ON A SILVER PLATTER a heavyweight title shot for Madman.

WINNER and SOLE SURVIVOR:  Mississippi Madman pin -> 38:45 mins. ****½

Madman was the MVP with three pinfalls, which Shard scored two eliminations.  Elite & LPC each eliminated one member of team RWJ.  4GQ pulls Smith out, team RWJ comes out to celebrate with Madman, they lay the shirt in the ring to wipe their boots on it.  Sage Ramsey stands at the entrance to watch, Madman calls him a punk.  Fans chant for a speech, RWJ says after a year of BS from 4GQ he declares them DEAD.  He thanks Madman.  RWJ says he heard LPC talk about Madman's mom on the way out.  Madman screams at LPC that no one talks about his mom and lives.  The music plays and we're outie.

The Verdict:  The crowd was hot and noisy throughout the entire show, surpassing November Reign in that respect.  As for the wrestling, the average rating across the board for the entire night did score a bit higher than November Reign, without using any special stipulations.  There wasn't a bad match at all during this show, so a successful night it was for NMW.  Get the DVD if you missed this one.  Next month, it's probably gonna be Guy Smith vs. MS Madman, where Madman has been on a popularity streak that's only increased the fans clamour for a title shot having pinned the champ.

Thumbs WAY up.