The Rap Sheet -- from the Crimefighter
New Midwest Wrestling's Breakdown
9/21/2002, Springfield, IL

Starting with this recap, I slapped a title on the whole thing for simple name recognition. And so, we have the rap sheet, which is the list of various violent assaults committed by the people inside and outside the ring. The total number of witnesses to the slaughter numbered about the same as it did in previous months despite the handing out of fliers at the last WWE event held the last day in August. Shrug, I wonder why attendance just doesn’t spike a couple times. It seems only the WWE can draw thousands these days and all the independent groups can only draw a couple hundred.

Speaking of rap sheets, someone who’s piling up a long rap sheet against me is some sorry gutless piece of garbage calling himself Ioseb Jugavili who is hiding somewhere in the Milwaukee, WI area but claims to be from the Russian province of Chechnya. He is one of those little dip****s Usenet abusers who goes around slandering and libeling, forging false headers using the home addresses and phone numbers of people he’s enraged with, and soliciting others to harass his targets. The local authorities seem to be completely inept with doing investigations of crimes over the internet so until someone from his hosting services hand me the name and address of the bum I don’t have much recourse other than lobbying the providers. The only successful course of action I was able to achieve against this bastard was to get the upstream provider of the news server he was using cut off for repeated TOS violations.

Sadly, Rocco Rock of Public Enemy died this evening of 9/21 in New Jersey following a match earlier in the day. I was a bit surprised to learn that he was 49; I didn’t think he was that old. He competed for the Intergalactic Wrestling Federation at the IL State Fair in the middle of August in a hardcore cage match with his longtime partner Johnny Grunge, which they won their match. Public Enemy as a team are pretty much the reason why tables are used so much in wrestling matches. They were the first to popularize the use of tables during their stay in WCW. I was there covering their final appearance in Springfield, the photos of the match and the recap are located at http://mudlist.betterbox.net/icw.

Show starts with Rip Mystic’s music blaring and here comes Rip instead of the ring announcer. Rip has the mike and states that he’s unhappy about not having a match tonight, and that he should have a rematch against Michael Shard. Stan Sallinger comes out with putter in hand to inform Rip that his is going to get his title rematch at the next show "Cutting Edge". Rip isn’t satisfied with that, the fans paid to see Rip Mystic so he goes out, gets a chair for a sit-in protest and says this is going to be the Rip Mystic show for the next two hours unless someone comes down to wrestle him. People all over are shouting "triple threat" but it appears Sallinger needs his hearing checked. Sage Ramsey comes out with his own chair and says he’ll wrestle him, so the match is on.

Rip Mystic (5-1) vs. Sage Ramsey (2-2) – Sage charges the ring, Rip misses a swing and Sage clotheslines him out. Sage hits an atomic drop, then clotheslines him again. Rip Irish whip, reversed to the corner, Sage back body drops Rip then suplexes him for two. Sage does a powerslam that gets two. Rip slugs him down for two. Rip grabs him for a chokeslam, but Sage spins him and gets kicked in the head for it. Rip only gets two. Rip tries for an elbow drop from the second rope and misses. Sage picks him up and body slams him, then follows it up with a standing leg drop and gets another two count. Sage puts Rip in the sideslam but only gets two. Rip is back up and hits a superkick, covers for two. Sage is back up and catches Rip for a chokeslam. Uh oh, PHD has run out and jumps on the apron. The ref directs his attention to PHD, PHD tosses his cane into the ring. Rip picks it up and breaks it in half over Sage’s back. Ref sees the broken stick in his hands and calls for the bell. A sign of things to come?

WINNER: Sage Ramsey DQ -> (3-2) 6 mins. **

Rip fetches a chair and whacks Sage with it. Well Rip I didn’t pay to see you lose via a cheap DQ, now Sage has gotten a big win over you and is in line to challenge for a title fairly quick. Doug Frazier comes out to intro the next match.

"Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (1-3) vs. "Big Man on Campus" Garret Ryan (1-0) – whoa, what’s this? Garret Ryan has a sling on his arm and has somebody with him. Nobody’s buying the broken arm spiel, Garret argues with the crowd for several minutes and walks around with a couple of beers. He really goes at it with some man who is shouting at him right next to me. The fan says he’ll fight him and kick his butt. The Frat Boy finally introduces the other frat boy, "Toga Steve". He will be taking his place tonight against Earl. So we now have…

"Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (1-3) vs. "Toga" Steve Fisher (debut) w/ Garret Ryan – Clothesline Earl, whip to the corner and Steve blasts him with a doubleaxe to the chest. The Frat Boy beats on Earl on the outside quite often in this match. In the ring, a few spots were obviously blown as they just bump into each other after a whip to the ropes. Ryan finds a fan in front of me and gives him one of his beers. Earl does his a twisting showstopper for two. Steve gets a suplex for two, but then distracts the ref while Earl is trying to get up on the ropes. Garret hits him with something on the outside and Steve gets the pin?? Oh, Earl finds the wrench he was hit with. Great…not a good match at all. You know I was getting criticism for giving the Ryan vs. Grissom match two stars and a half last month cause they thought the match was terrible, when compared to this match my rating was dead-on correct. Ryan didn’t use the bum arm at all, maybe it was tore up, he doesn’t wrestle a match until two and half months later. We now have the team of Sigma Omega Beta set.

WINNER: Toga Steve pin -> (1-0) 7½ mins. *

"Discount Gigolo" Kenneth Mills (1-0) vs. Dredd Walker (2-1-1) – The gigolo comes out wearing a t-shirt that says Playtoy and hurls his hat at me. I don’t want it! Walker’s out, and the match starts…but the gigolo doesn’t want to lock up with him. So Dredd offers him a free headlock. Gigolo takes the bait and Dredd lets out a "scream of agony" before shooting him off to the ropes for a big shoulderblock. Dredd pretty much has his way with the gigolo, though gigolo tries to choke him with a pair of dice. Dredd gets him up for a suplex but gets low blowed. Gigolo climbs the ropes and hits a moonsault but only gets two. Gigolo freaks and argues with the ref. Dredd is up and waiting on him. Grabs gigolo and hangs him over his shoulder in a inverted shoulder rack, then flips him down face and chest first in a sort of a flapjack for the pin. I’ll just dub the move the as the "Dreddnought" (dreadnought is a heavily-armed battleship).

WINNER: Dredd Walker pin -> (3-1-1) 5:40 mins. **½

Okay, now that Dredd Walker has picked up his third win, he’s also in line for a title shot shortly. My recommendation was to put Sage (3-2) and Dredd (3-1-1) in a #1 contender’s match for the NMW title, but it ended up being Dredd getting a title shot at the charity show a couple weeks later.

Doug Frazier makes an announcement that Superstar D-Von Day and K-Lo who were supposed to wrestle next did not show up tonight! I guess they must have had problems trying to find their way to Springfield and then trying to find Soccer World. It’s not like I didn’t post a map with directions on how to get there! Grumble grumble. We aren’t loaning you guys in Kentucky any of our talent anymore if this is what we’re gonna get from you! Doug then takes this time to tell everyone how disgusted he is with Stan Sallinger ignoring his complaints, phone calls, and moderators deleting his posts from the forum board. He’s been training to wrestle himself, and he’s gotten nothing but disrespect from the other wrestlers. And last month he was kicked in the mouth by Rip Mystic and pedigreed by Real World Jeremy. Hey Doug, no one said you had to jump in the ring and try breaking up the fight! Other side note, he wears metal braces, which those blows he took tore up the inside of his mouth real bad and it required a visit to the emergency room. Anyway, Sallinger comes out carrying a putter to listen to him first hand. Doug tells him he wants to have his shot in the ring and he’s been waiting five months while guys like Garret Ryan, Discount Gigolo got their shots last month, and Toga Steve this month. Sallinger tells him something but appears to be completely deaf as usual when people are shouting at him that Bing Westlake is coming to the ring with a chair. Well Bing whacks him with a chair, then screams and hollers about making him fight and destroy his caddy and being hauled out of the building last month. Bing moves to use it again but Doug stops him. Bing tells Doug that Stan’s been holding him down and he should do something about it. Doug agrees and whacks Stan over the head with the chair himself. Bing goes out and gets a table. Doug prances around the ring while the table is set up. Then they both powerbomb Sallinger through the table. Eric Logan (the caddy) rushes out with a chair, but he’s way, way too late. Doug and Bing leave together with Sallinger left behind beaten and bloody. A new ring announcer comes out to do the duties for the rest of the show, Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne.

"The Iron Chef" Leo Lagossi (0-3) vs. The Khaos Kidd (0-2) w/ Luscious P. Coltrane – Tonight’s mimicked superstar is…"The Macho Man"! The guy next to me is chewing out the Kidd for being overweight and fat. Sheesh, give it a rest will ya? Your referee is "Mike the Ref"! Meanwhile "RON" is STILL acting like a retard and taking shots at me while I still point out that he’s all talk and no action. The men shake hands to start, they were once tag partners and share the only tag victory in NMW so far. Chef with a takedown, chef gets a belly-to-belly suplex into a bridge for two. Backbreaker followed by a running knee lift from the chef gets two. Kidd tries to Irish whip the chef from the corner, but he reversed into the same corner, the ref in the way, Kidd crushes the ref. Leo does another belly to belly into a bridge, but the ref is out. Tilt-a-whirl slam on Kidd. Leo gets the ref back on his feet. Small package by Kidd gets two. The chef decides to apply a chokehold on Kidd, Coltrane gets mad and hops on the apron telling the ref to break it up. This goes on often through the rest of the match. Rolling suplex by the Kidd on the chef gets 2. Kidd sets Leo up and comes off the top rope with the flying elbowdrop but he’s too hurt to cover. Leo does another choke, Coltrane jaws with the ref some more. Leo hits a move that I had a bad angle on viewing and the referee does a very fast three count! What??? The referee snubs Coltrane. Coltrane jumps in the ring and gives Leo a stone-cold stunner for the heel tactics he was using. Coltrane demands what-for from the "Mike the Ref", doesn’t get it so he makes him pay dearly with a stone-cold stunner for screwing Kidd. Kidd bumps into Coltrane and he stuns him too! Coltrane helps his Kidd out of the ring. Okay, what the heck was the referee doing here? So he didn’t like all the flak he was getting? Does that justify what he did? Coltrane didn’t interfere in the match itself! I hope this is the last match this ref does for a LONG time. Unfortunately he gets to officiate the rematch cause he’s "Mike the Ref". The chef gets his first win, but it’s very tainted. "Mike the Ref" gets mad at me for my heavy criticism in this rap sheet just days later as "RON" still runs his mouth and taunts me for not knowing who he is.

WINNER: "The Iron Chef" Leo Lagossi pin fast count -> (1-3) 7½ mins. **

The next segment, Professor Philip H. Dempsey comes out with his men and a new cane, Jason Wells and Michael Shard. Shard has a brand new belt and this is the belt we’ll be seeing for now on. For the next ten minutes or so we are all bored to sleep with an endless boasting and bragging of how Michael Shard is the greatest professional wrestler ever to enter a ring, he’s unbeatable, he’s this, he’s that, yadda yadda yadda. And they gloat about what they did to Rip Mystic and Real World Jeremy. Finally Shard leaves, and we move on to the next match.

Jason Wells (1-3) w/ PHD vs. The former Caddy, Eric Logan (1-1) – Wells runs away from Logan outside the ring, around they go, PHD trips him on the outside, Logan sneers at him then runs around and into a spear from a waiting Wells. Wells gets him back in the ring and splashes him with a "Vaderbomb" from the second rope for two. Wells and Logan trade blows for a while, then Logan takes Wells down with a missile dropkick for two. Logan picks up Wells into a fireman’s carry and does one of RVD’s forward slam head rolls and gets two. Logan hits a top rope leg drop for two. Wells regains the advantage though, picks Logan up for a fireman’s carry, then tosses him for a sit-down slam and gets a three count. Well, Wells actually wins a match convincingly for once. They beat on Logan some more afterward.

WINNER: Jason Wells pin -> (2-3) 8 mins. **½

Tag Team Match

El Diablo Silverado (1-3) & Tom Arson (0-3) vs. "Alpha Male" Guy Smith (3-2) & Scotty Cash (4-0)
Misty Matthews is nowhere to be found. I thought Guy wanted someone who would "be there for him". Guess not. The same guy next to me jaws with all four of these guys, apparently the only guys he cares for is Rip and Dredd. Arson gets the mike and states that all of his troubles in the ring are because of two people, Smith and Cash, and that he has someone to help him get revenge on those two, Silverado. Smith and Cash come out; Cash doesn’t want to enter the ring so he tosses Smith in which Arson promptly hurls him out. Smith comes back in and gets clothes lined and dumped outside. Cash is slingshoted in. Tag Silverado. Japanese arm drags for Cash. Cash retreats and tags Smith. Headlock by Smith but gets armdragged. Smith tries a bodyslam but gets armdragged out of the slam. Tag Arson. Tom locks in the Code Red armbar submission. Lets go and tags Silverado. Oklahoma roll gets a two count. Tag Arson. Slams Smith for two, tags Silverado who drops an elbow on the stretched out arm of Smith. Smith retaliates with a powerbomb and gets two. Tag Cash. Tries a legdrop from the ropes and misses. Silverado powerbombs Cash for a two count. Cash hits a back suplex for two, then gets another suplex for two. Cash complains about not getting the pin so he covers for another two. Tag Smith. Silverado’s arm is hung over the top rope and snapped by Cash. Smith with another suplex. Arson starts jawing with the ref so Cash and Smith switch. Cash with a top rope elbow then a clothesline for a two count. Cash with a fisherman’s suplex gets two. Tag Smith. Guy suplexes Silverado a couple times then puts in a half-camel clutch. Powerslam on Silverado gets another near fall. Double-clothesline from the heels gets another near fall. Repeated elbows from Guy get a two count again. Tag Cash. Smith hoists Silverado on his shoulders, Cash on the top rope…doomsday device clothesline! Cash covers but the pin is broken up by Arson. Guy Smith hits a legdrop and covers but the pin is broken up. Smith jaws with Arson, but Silverado rolls him up and only gets two. Tag Cash. A slam, then an elbow gets two. Tag Guy. Clothesline from Guy gets a two count, tries covering again, gets two, a third time gets two. Cash and Smith Irish whip him to the ropes and try the double-clothesline but Silverado clotheslines them both instead. Silverado can’t make the tag before Smith picks him up and hits the death valley driver for two. Smith hooks his legs and leans back and hold him up in a surfboard. Releases the hold and covers for two. Guy climbs the ropes, and tries a splash from the top but misses. Tag Arson finally. Arson slams the heels repeatedly. A big boot sends Guy out. Arson tries for a piledriver on Cash, which is blocked. Silverado 619’s Cash. Arson sets up Cash for a moonsault and hits it. Smith breaks it up and gets "A Little Inspiration" with Arson bent over and his leg across his neck, then a spinning neckbreaker on Silverado. Arson and Smith are dumped outside. Silverado tries for the Unprettier on Cash, its reversed, but Silverado gets back into position to lock it in and gets the Unprettier! Arson gives Smith a piledriver on the floor, while Silverado pins Cash. Finally, Cash loses a match but this isn’t a singles match so he still has that inflated win-loss record and tainted Central IL title.

WINNERS: El Diablo Silverado & Tom Arson pin -> (1-0) 18:50 mins. ****

This was the best match of the night, now if they would start a tag division or have tag matches on every show. Tom Arson grabs the mike and tells Guy Smith he hasn’t gotten enough of him so he wants him in a street fight at Cutting Edge. Smith accepts, so we will have a rematch of the hardcore match from a few months ago in which Guy decisively defeated Arson, but he reneges on the agreement later.

NMW Championship Title Match

[c]Michael Shard (2-3) w/ PHD & Jason Wells vs. Real World Jeremy (2-0-1) – Oh dear, looks like Shard is going to continue the bodyguard crap. Match starts, Shard taunts and RWJ misses with clotheslines. A boot from RWJ connects and he hurls Shard outside. RWJ follows him out but Wells attacks. The referee throws Wells out of the match, PHD and Wells argue then Shard joins them to leave but Sage Ramsey comes out and slugs everyone. PHD runs for his life out the audience entrance. Sage hauls Shard back to the ring then returns for Wells and fights him through the curtain. RWJ covers for two right away. Shard is dumped outside following a face slam, then is thrown into the stairs. RWJ gets him back in for a two count. Rear chin lock, Shard stands up then gets a jawbreaker. RWJ catches Shard in a spinning backbreaker, but hurts his knee doing it. Whip to the corner, Shard dropkicks the knee. Headlock, Shard knees him in the gut. Rear chin lock by Shard, knee to the groin, dragon screw leg whip on RWJ. Shard continues to work on the knee. Irish whip to the ropes, Shard baseball slides under RWJ and hits him in the crotch. Shard charges into a powerslam by RWJ for a near fall. Rollup by RWJ gets two. Shot to the knee again, repeated shots on RWJ. Jeremy retaliates with a spear. RWJ powerbombs Shard by only gets two. RWJ throws Shard outside, ugh what are you doing you can’t win the title on a count out! RWJ reaches down for Shard, but gets pulls down and Shard slams his bad leg against the apron. Shard turns him over leaving his leg outstretched so Shard can do a legdrop from the apron on that bad leg. Shard locks in a sleeper, but RWJ powers out of it. Atomic facebuster followed by a spinebuster from Jeremy gets a two count. Rip Mystic has come out to ringside. RWJ hooks up Shard for the pedigree and hits it! One, two, Rip yanks the referee outside to break it up. Rip jumps in the ring and attacks RWJ by spitting black ink in his face and hitting an impaler DDT. RWJ wins by DQ, arrgh.

WINNER: Real World Jeremy DQ -> (3-0-1) 18 mins. ***½

Half star deducted for the cheap DQ. I guess Rip Mystic does not want to fight Real World Jeremy for the title next month so he screws over Jeremy so Shard is still champ when he gets his rematch. What did Jeremy do to Rip to deserve all this anyway? He hasn’t given a good reason for it yet, and months later still hasn’t given a good reason. Shard takes exception to Rip interfering in the match and start brawling but Rip gives him an impaler DDT. RWJ is back up and grabs Mystic for a pedigree to close off the show. Michael Shard continues his LOSING ways despite his claims of being unbeatable with a two-win four-loss record and holding the NMW title when of course he was in no position to be getting a title match last month and stole Jeremy’s title shot.

Bottom line, well they are going to replay Mystic vs. Shard for the title next month and Tom Arson vs. Guy Smith from three months ago, or so we think. They are going to have to establish a challenger for whomever is champ following Mystic vs. Shard and the two candidates for that are Dredd Walker and Sage Ramsey each with three wins, which turned out to be Dredd Walker. The rest of the roster will still be jockeying for position to challenge Scotty Cash and the newer recruits need some improvement those being the fraternity boys. The next show is Cutting Edge for October 24^th. Scheduled for later is a battle royal as part of a fundraiser for Alexis Holmeier on October 6^th of which the winner receives a Central IL title shot. The two guys from Kentucky that no-showed, stay lost. Until next time, this is the Crimefighter saying bustin’ ain’t easy.