The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
World Wrestling Entertainment Smackdown
6/14/2K4 - Springfield, IL

The WWE plan to increase house show revenues:  Jack ticket prices up on the few people that still go...

This rap sheet is posted at The Rap Sheet Dossier, a site for show reviews of mainly Springfield wrestling events and nationwide streaming videos at http://rap-sheet.tripod.com and the Usenet group news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info which a number of promotions could utilize to get the word out about their shows but don't.  It is also posted in various locations where accepted.

I decided about a week ago when the flap over the Nazi salute John "Adolf" Layfield did in Germany went down that I couldn't pass up the chance to attend this show then bash the heck out of him in the rap sheet.  I've been reading a column by Ken Anderson from a website where the members of the Internet wrestling community are called hypocrites for calling CNBC to fire him.  Well guess what, if Rush Limbaugh could not keep his ESPN job because he says the sports press is overrating Donavon McNabb because of skin color (and he was correct, the Eagles played in a WEAK division and collapsed in the playoffs with McNabb getting sacked A LOT), then JBL should not keep his job for doing the Nazi salute, which is a criminal act in Germany.  Now the writer, Ken Anderson says we should be going after a whole slew of names for doing offensive stuff.  One problem, it was VERY EASY to get JBL fired from CNBC.  It is IMPOSSIBLE to get Vince McMahon bounced out of WWE, cause he's the one approving this crap that includes:  necrophilia (winner of the RSPW 2002 worst promotional move, which was the only thing fans could do about that one), birth of a hand, 400lbs. Samoan punks crushing 80-year old women from the top rope, gay weddings, Bischoff's rape of Linda McMahon, and many more.  The successful campaign to get JBL fired was the only way to send a loud and clear message to Vince McMahon, yet Vince is STILL not listening.

It is also claimed that only 30% of all the WWE fans watch BOTH RAW and Smackdown.  THAT IS A DISASTER.  Fewer and fewer people watching both shows does not help WWE in the slightest.  You can see it in the house show and PPV buyrates, the numbers just go down.  RAW is like pulling the mid 3's, Smackdown is pulling in the lower 3's to upper 2's.  After eliminating those who don't get one or the other of UPN or Spike TV/TNN from the equation, if everyone who gets both channels would be watching both shows then they'd be pulling in 4's or maybe get up to 5's.  Since Smackdown came out the big loser in the draft, what they should be doing is having some RAW vs. Smackdown matches more frequently then they've had.  They don't have to switch brands, just loan a couple guys for a month at a time and base it off some angles on the PPVs.

Speaking of viewership, attendance here was ONE THIRD of what a RAW house show got here back in February!  4500 attended back then, it's only 1500 for THIS show!  The floor seats were only half to 2/3 full, the rest in the risers and mezzanine were evenly scattered about.  The upper deck was closed.  When it's up against RAW on free TV it's no surprise attendance was so low either.  And the WWE raised ticket prices to $45, $33, and $22.  We also got NO announced lineup for this show, so the contents are a total mystery other than the list of wrestlers who are said to be appearing.  Tony Chimel is your ring announcer, live from the Prairie Capital Convention Center with a lot of bad karma tied up with the place.

Billy Kidman 5'10" 195lbs. Allentown, PA & Paul London 5'10" 205lbs. Austin, TX vs. FBI - Nunzio 5'6" 170lbs. Queens, NY & Johnny the Bull Stamboli 6'2" 240lbs. Brooklyn, NY - Speaking of not listening, "Tomato Head" "Brother Love" Bruce Pritchard wants to junk the cruiserweight division.  I can see why, cruiserweight matches don't fit Vince's SLOW AND BORING style cause cruiserweights are QUICK AND EXCITING.  Bruce thinks we can't get enough of little guys being SLAUGHTERED by super heavyweights every week.  Gee how STUPID is that?  And look at Paul London, he's been horribly wasted and misused and if given the chance he's gonna bolt to NWA-TNA or back to ROH where they'd know what to do with him.  I'm rather glad I have another promotion to watch on TV than just WWE now.  Chuck Palumbo going to RAW has not helped his career any.  Just as this match starts I get harassed by a security guard who CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A VIDEO CAMCORDER AND A CASSETTE RECORDER!  Geez, find some security guards who at least HAVE A CLUE about technology!  I use the tape recorder as an aid for notetaking to write THIS rap sheet.  Finally a second security guard comes out to look at my recorder and finally clears it.  The match has started and I'm completely rattled over the incident.  I believe Kidman & London run the FBI out of the ring as the match starts.  Nunzio and Kidman start.  Nunzio kick blocked, atomic drop Kidman.  Armbar Nunzio, whip Kidman flying headscissors.  Tag London, spinning kick kick gets one.  Nunzio elbow, tag Johnny, side suplex blocked, armdrag London.  Stamboli whip Paul jumps the charge, superkick gets two.  Johnny whip to the corner clothesline.  Whip to the FBI corner, London tries a monkey flip but Nunzio clotheslines him off.  The Bull chokes away, Nunzio stomps away.  Double team in the corner, Nunzio with a knee, headlock, hair yank.  Tag Bull.  Headlock, whip corner, Bull eats a boot.  London charges into a press slam by Stamboli, illegal switch, Nunzio forearms him.  Tag Stamboli, axe off the top, tag Nunzio, snap mare, headlock.  Nunzio whip enzuigiri London.  Kidman tagged, Stamboli tagged.  Billy flying forearms, tornado bulldog, drop kick on Nunzio sending him out, slam on the Bull.  Kidman goes for the shooting star but Nunzio crotches him.  The Bull holds up Kidman for Nunzio to hit a drop kick off the top getting two.  Press slam Bull but Kidman slides down and sunset flips the Bull with a London dropkick to pin him!

WINNERS:  Billy Kidman & Paul London pin -> 9:30 mins. **½

Mordecai 6'6" 292lbs. Tombstone, AZ vs. Sho Funaki 5'7" 180lbs. Japan - Mordecai would be the former Bane from the Disciples of Synn tag team in OVW.  This team would had been a sorely needed shot in the tag division arm but Vince stupidly split the team up and put them on separate brands where NEITHER of them are doing any good as singles wrestlers.  Mordy has been dubbed Gangrel 2K4.  Mordecai just stands there staring into space.  Sho tries slugging Mordy but gets pounded then floored with the Razor's Edge (okay crucifix powerbomb) and it's OVER already!  

WINNER:  Mordecai pin -> 45 seconds DUD

Kurt Angle comes out with his buddy “Horshu” Luther Raines.  Kurt welcomes us to his Smackdown show, and announces our main events of Eddie Guerrero vs. JBL where Eddie will be beat up so bad he'll be as useless as a woman from Springfield.  Huh?  John Cena vs. Booker T.  He shills the PPV this weekend where it will be John Cena vs. RVD, Dupree, and Booker T.  He calls RVD the biggest disappointment of his show, which brings him out to confront Angle.  RVD challenges Horshu, Angle says he'll kick his arse but Rene Dupree jumps him from behind.

Rob Van Dam 6'0" 220lbs. Battle Creek, MI vs. Rene Dupree 6'3" 250lbs. France - Rene charges at RVD from behind up the ramp and throws him in.  Springboard sidekick RVD sends Rene out, fight on the outside, suplex on the rail, RVD with a spinning legdrop from the apron into the rail.  Toss in, RVD gets two.  Legdrop, RVD hops on the top rope but gets shoved off to the floor.  Rene clothesline on the floor, toss in gets two.  Rake, choke Rene, snap mare, rear chinlock.  USA chant starts for a bit, hair yank Dupree, jawbreaker RVD.  RVD whip reverse spinkick (looked like he WHIFFED on it).  RVD whip back body drop, spinning heel kick, legdrop, slam, rolling thunder gets two.  RVD goes for a monkey flip in the corner but Dupree blocks it, goes for the pin and puts his feet on the ropes and steals the win!  ARRGH!  

WINNER:  Rene Dupree pin -> 6:20 mins. *

RVD doesn't let him get away with it though, he throws him back in when he tries to leave and hits the five-star frog splash.  Rene gets up and does his dumb little dance before leaving.

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship - Triple Threat Elimination
(c)Charlie Haas 6'2" 242lbs. Edmond, OK & Rico Costintino 6'0" 228lbs. Las Vegas, NV w/ Miss Jackie Gayda vs. Basham Bros. 495lbs. Columbus, OH - Doug & Danny vs. The Dudley Boyz  New York, NY - Bubba Ray Dudley 6'4" 275lbs. & D-Von Dudley 6'2" 240lbs. - The fans were trying to cheer the Dudleys and they let them for the most part but then started chewing out certain people in the front row.  Haas & Doug start.  Lockup, takedown Haas.  Lockup, headlock Doug, shoveoff, shoulderblock.  Slam, armdrag Haas.  Tag Rico, tag Danny.  Danny doesn't want to be in there with Rico and tries to tag a Dudley and fails.  He won't lock up with Rico, Rico acts GAY.  Lockup, armbar Danny, drop toe hold Rico and rides him like a horse.  Doug jumps in and gets smooched.  Bubba yanks Rico down.  Danny legdrop gets two.  Tag Doug, Rico eats a boot, kickaway in the corner.  Whip into Dudleys corner, chokeaway by the Duds, Haas gripes at the ref.  Doug snap mare gets one.  Ram into the boot, tag Doug.  Snap mare, read chinlock Basham, Rico with the jawbreaker.  Tag Haas, he clotheslines the Bashams, back body drop, blind tag by D-Von.  Bubba pulls the rope down and Haas sails over.  Dudleys with the 3-D on Danny Basham and get three!

Basham Brothers, you ARE THE WEAKEST LINKS!  Goodbye at 6:50 mins.

Haas in, whip corner and eats a boot from D-von.  Bubba yanks Haas into the post and makes a wish.  D-Von with a snap mare, choke, turnbuckle smash.  Sunset flip Haas gets one.  Tag Bubba, he chokes him with wrist tape, knocks Rico off.  Bubba slams him for two.  Neckbreaker Bubba, he works the leg.  D-Von jumps in and nails Rico, illegal switch, choke D-Von.  Haas up, clothesline D-Von gets two.  D-Von slam, goes to the second rope, headbutt missed!  Tag Rico.  Clotheslines and roundhouse kicks, spear on D-Von, spinebuster on Bubba gets two.  Haas is thrown into the post.  Clothesline Bubba, they set up the whatsup drop but D-Von aborts it once he sees Rico begging them to do it to him.  Bubba elbow, Haas in, double flapjack on Haas.  The Duds set up Rico, Bubba charges but hits his partner, cover Rico gets two.  Clothesline Bubba, Bubba decides to grab Jackie by the hair, she slaps him.  Haas German suplex, superkick Rico gets the pin.

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS:  Rico Constintino & Charlie Haas pin -> 13:15 mins. ***

I should state at this time that Chavo Guerrero Sr. is MISSING.  He was supposedly going to appear at a show in St. Louis yesterday but no-showed, then he supposedly was going to appear tonight and didn't come either.  No one knows where he is, include his son.  Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out and says he's the best wrestler in the family, which prompts the crowd to chant Eddie Eddie.  He's facing Spike tonight and has something to say about him.  Well the music hits before he can say anything.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. 5'9" 210lbs. El Paso, TX vs. Spike Dudley 5'8" 150lbs. Dudleyville, NY - Spike was used for superheavyweight squashes every week on RAW, thankfully the draft put him in the cruiserweight division where he belongs.  Chavo jumps Spike, whip clothesline Chavo.  Uppercut, snap mare gets one.  Chavo whip flying elbow Spike, clothesline off a charge.  Spike whip reverse headbutt to the gut by Spike, inverted atomic drop, kick in the corner.  Spike goes up, Chavo nails him, tries for the superplex, Spike fights and bites him off.  Double stomp drop, Spike goes for the Dudley Dog but its reversed into a side suplex by Chavo.  Chavo goes for a powerbomb but Spike slips over and gets the sunset flip for three!  Too short especially for a house show.

WINNER:  Spike Dudley pin -> 3:25 mins. ¾*

Mark Jindrak is out here next wearing a silver robe and carries a mirror.  Long has the mike and hollers at the players that Jindrak is the "reflection of perfection".  Uhhh...no.  Little truth here, before Jindrak started using the "reflection of perfection" gimmick, our own local area wrestler for New Midwest Wrestling and Scott County Wrestling came up with the name first, that being Mr. Elite, back in January.  Jindrak STOLE that nickname.  But he can have the name of "perfection of erection" instead.  Oh yeah, while Long was shilling his man, the sound system goes out again.  Boy the sound system at the PCCC just absolutely SUCKS!  Rey Rey has to come out to no intro or music and he hands out some items.

Mark Jindrak 6'6" 253lbs. Auburn, NY w/ Teddy Long vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. 5'6" 165lbs. San Diego, CA - Lockup, clothesline misses from Mark.  Lockup, shovedown by Mark.  Mark holds his arms up and wants Rey to punch him in the side.  Rey with the punch and Mark shrugs it off, Rey dropkick, he kicks away at the legs.  Whip Jindrak, he eats a boot.  Rey pounds away, Mark charges, kick, powerbomb reversed into a headscissors.  Jindrak bails, Rey slingshot suicide dive misses.  Rey tries a wheelbarrow but gets hit with a backbreaker.  Mark whip to the corner, Rey crashes.  Mark stomps away then covers for two.  Mark kicks away some more, suplex gets two.  Butterfly armbar Jindrak, Rey gets up, kick sunset flip is blocked Mark gets two.  Drop kick Rey to the back, splash Jindrak missed.  Rey goes up, "Peanut Head" Teddy Long trips him up.  Mark dropkicks Rey off the top rope, Rey down on the mat in a heap.  Slam Jindrak, goes to the second rope, jumps off and eats boots.  Slugfest, Mark whip flying headscissors Mysterio, West Coast Pop, wheelbarrow bulldog gets two.  Whip Rey springboard but gets caught in a powerslam for two.  Mark gets tripped, 619 attempt blocked by Long's interference.  Rey with a drop kick (HE WHIFFED!) sending Mark down for the 619!  Rey springboard legdrop gets the pin!

WINNER:  Rey Mysterio Jr. pin -> 8:30 mins. ***¼

We go to intermission for ten minutes.  We come back from intermission and the sound system is still crap, we can hear the ring announcer but the music is real low.  After Cena comes out, they take turns posing with the belt, then Cena gives away his camouflage shirt to a fan.  Booker T jumps out of the ring and steals the shirt away from that same fan!  Booker has the mike and chews out Cena for giving away the shirt cause he'll need it to cover up all the welts on his body.  

WWE United States Championship
(c)John Cena 6'1" 240lbs. West Newbury, MA vs. Booker T 6'3" 250lbs. Houston, TX - Cena slugs Booker then gives the shirt back to the fan.  Cena throws Booker back in, he pounds away, foot in the chin, choke in the corner.  Booker whip clothesline Cena.  Whip kick Booker, he hangs Cena on the top rope.  Booker T whip shot to the chest gets one.  Hammerlock Booker, Cena slugs his away out, elbow T, knee drop, cover gets two.  Rear chinlock Booker on the mat, he goes for a suplex and it's blocked, Cena suplex.  Cena slugs away, whip reverse shoulderblock Cena, clothesline.  Side slam, punch drop to the head gets one.  Whip to the corner, Booker hops a charging Cena for a sunset flip getting two.  Booker side kick, then the axe kick.  He teases the spinneroonie but yells you ain't getting it and covers for two.  Cena with the F-U wins it!

WINNER and STILL CHAMP:  John Cena pin -> 7:45 mins. **¼

Booker T goes back to the fan he stole the shirt from and shakes his hand.

We now have the bikini contest between Torrie Wilson, Dawn Marie, Miss Jackie Gayda, and Sable.  Dawn has the red outfit, Jackie shows off a white and silver outfit, Sable shows off a tan outfit and Torrie shows up a cyan blue outfit.  It's a dead heat between Sable and Jackie but Tony Chimel finally decides Miss Jackie got the most noise.

And now we get to the main event, and JBL posts a column on WWE.com addressing us "internet reporters".  He says the following:

"Now, I want to make perfectly clear who I was talking about in my last column. I referred to a bunch of Internet guys, but the people I am referring to are not everyone who goes on the Internet; that is half of America. The people I am referring to are the guys who have their own Web sites, or who think they are reporters, which they are not."

Stick it Adolf.  Just because someone doesn't work for ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, Fox, or a major newspaper doesn't mean they aren't reporters.  Matt Drudge is a reporter, he made his name as an Internet reporter.  Some people say he's not a real reporter, I say they're DEAD WRONG.  More nonsense:

"Actually, when I referred to their questionable sexual orientation in a joking matter I was trying to say that they were momma’s boys."

Yeah whatever, people invoke the gay terminology as some sort of shield every time they get into a dispute with someone.  Whether they are "mamma's boys" or not is completely irrelevant concerning JBL’s performance in the ring.

"Again, the people I am talking about are an infinitely small percentage that think they know our business. Honestly, they are just plain stupid, and I’ll explain why."

Okay JBL, how about this?  I'm serving as a play-by-play commentator for New Midwest Wrestling, Springfield's local wrestling organization.  I've been reviewing their shows for the past two years.  I've watched pro wrestling for about twenty years (egad!  I feel OLD!).  I think I know ENOUGH.  As for the others who work for 1wrestling.com, 411mania.com, pwinsider.com the people working there weren't born yesterday.  We've ALL WATCHED ENOUGH WRESTLING over the years to know what is a good match and what is a CRAPPY match.  When was the last time you had a **** match Bradshaw?  I’ll bet our NMW show on June 26th will be a better show than this one was.

"They wondered in print if I was working or not, meanwhile making sure I was front and center on everyone’s mind before the pay-per-view. Now, they will do a couple of things, either say they are done with me, and make sure my name stays out there, or talk about how bad I am, and make sure my name stays out there. (See how easy they are? I am beginning to enjoy this.)"

Scott Keith doesn't watch or review Smackdown anymore, is that enough?  I pretty much am finding myself taping Smackdown, fast-forwarding through the crap (including your boring promos) and watching just the wrestling action, which cuts it down to a half hour of viewing time.

"Of course, they have to realize this: I promised 30 minutes at Judgment Day, I delivered. I promised a memorable match, I delivered. You see, I have delivered all my life, which makes these guys mad, because the reason they are player-haters is because they have never, ever done anything. That is why they sit behind their computers with their Krispy Kreme doughnuts and write about me. Face it, you spend your time talking about me. This is like clubbing baby seals, at least give me a challenge. I am sorry that makes you so mad."

You may have delivered on your promise, but the fans didn't plunk down the money to WATCH your **½ performance.  I wouldn’t want to watch this match on tape now, cause it’s so gory.  The buyrate for Judgement Day was VERY LOW.  Looking at the numbers in this building tonight, no one wanted to miss RAW and watch you instead.  When you say we all have never "done anything", that's very broad.  What HAVEN'T we done that we are supposed to so we all have "done something?"  I think the fans DID do something about you, and that is protest to CNBC over your conduct and GOT SOMETHING DONE.

WWE Heavyweight Championship
(c)Eddie Guerrero 5'8" 220lbs. El Paso, TX vs. John "Adolf" Layfield 6'6" 290lbs. New York City - Vince thinks JBL shouldn't had been fired from CNBC, yeah well I think the fans shouldn't be subjected to more JBL in the ring.  Bradshaw is yelling and screaming at people, chases the ring announcer out. Bradshaw gets the mike and runs his mouth, the crowd pretty much drowns him out.  Bradshaw tries to bring a chair in but it gets taken away.  JBL stalls like mad at the start then gets into a spat with Ray Lytle.  Eddie chants ring out.  Lockup to the corner, clean break.  Another lockup, clean break.  Eddie armdrag, another one, JBL flees.  And now Kurt Angle and Horshu come out.  Eddie goes up and threatens to jump on Kurt but Luther gets in the way.  Eddie gets around Angle and Horshu and goes after JBL, Bradshaw nails him and tosses him in.  JBL slugs away, headlock, shoveoff, shoulderblock Eddie, Angle stands up and trips Eddie!  Angle doesn't have that plaster cast on anymore, just a big plastic brace.  Headslams into the steps Bradshaw, toss in.  Bradshaw whip BOOT, elbow off the ropes gets two.  ADOLF kicks away, big suplex gets two.  Bradshaw slugs away, Eddie kicks low, knockdown.  Bradshaw whip corner, he eats an elbow.  Eddie crossbody is caught into a fallaway slam gets two.  Bradshaw removes the tape off his wrist and chokes him as the ref argues with Horshu.  Bradshaw puts on a sleeper.  He takes turns choking with the tape and using the sleeper hold.  The referee doesn't pay attention.  Eddie gets up, Bradshaw with the hair yank.  Ref finally gets the tape away.  Elbow, chop Bradshaw gets two.  Kick to the head, floors Eddie for two.  Eddie comes to life and slugs away, boot to the face and back to the sleeper.  Ten minutes has passed, this match has been a BORE.  Cover gets two.  Back to the sleeper as I'm falling asleep.  Eddie gets up, side suplex.  Bradshaw kick to the back, punches to the side of the head.  Eddie fires up, slugs away on Bradshaw, Eddie whip reverse flying headscissors, Eddie suplex, tries to chain him but gets shoved into the ref.  BIG BOOT Bradshaw and the CLOTHESLINE FROM HECK.  The ref is out, so Angle jumps in and counts two very fast.  Bradshaw argues with Angle, Horshu throws in the belt, Bradshaw tries to nail Eddie with the belt, Eddie ducks and nails him with it instead.  Eddie knocks Horshu off, has Angle trapped, then tosses him the belt and plays dead.  The referee comes to and orders Angle to leave.  Eddie rolls over to the corner then climbs the ropes and hits the frogsplash for three.  SLOW AND BORING match up until the closing moments.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP:  Eddie Guerrero pin -> 15 mins. ½*

The Verdict:  I wish I won tickets, cause I feel like the $22 price tag was too high for this show.  Seems there was a lot of comps given out beforehand.  This show wasn't that good, and the whole time for the event lasted 2½ hours.  Heck, I got home in time for the RAW main event which was better than this show.  I'd had gone thumbs in the middle if the ticket prices were much lower, but they weren't.  I heard Shane McMahon was paying off people who weren't happy with the events to shut up about it.  Well I'd like to collect some money from the Shane McMahon Unconditional Refund Formula (™ Scott Keith).

Thumbs down.  SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL INDY FED!